Come What May
by ajremix
Summary: Eventual IkkakuNemu. Various other characters added in for flavor. And experiment of sorts. Epilogue: What Comes After. Five differente views on what has come to pass.
1. Rundown

So, against previous decisions and much argument on the parts of a few choice associates, I was convinced to put this series up on This is a product of someone pointing out the pairing, saying both characters needed the attention and my being bored. And the plot bunnies eating my brain, but that's never a surprising thing, really.

And now I give you the strangeness that is the Ikkaku/Nemu pairing. Enjoy. The few of you actually reading these.

* * *

**  
Come What May  
Rundown**

Nemu walked the empty halls of the academy. Despite being late for class, she strode with her usual, even strides (mayuri-sama would be angry knowing she was running about). It wasn't a surprise that she would come late to morning classes and her instructors had long since stopped berating her.

Because of Mayuri-sama, she would tell herself and think nothing more on the matter.

(because mayuri would screech at her about her latest performance and berate her and beat her if he figured he had the time but it never really mattered to him because she was almost always late whenever she reported her progress in to him)

The instructors were very kind about it. Nemu made a note to herself to do especially well on her next exam to show her appreciation.

(somewhere two halls down she vaguely heard someone pounding down the building yelling 'ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap' as they went but paid them little heed)

She stood at the door to her classroom, hand poised to slide the door back but her attention was caught by the note tacked to the woodwork.

That was why she was run over by a large body in the middle of a rather loud 'ohc-!'

Nemu was not unused to being knocked around with or without prior knowledge of the strike. But being sent sprawling and then pinned at an awkward angle by a heavier body left her surprised and slightly dizzy.

"-rap." The heavy body above her said. Immediately the weight jumped to his feet and Nemu was then further surprised by rough hands that grabbed her under the arms and lifted her to her feet so quickly she almost forgot she was on the floor.

"Ah, man, I'm really sorry 'bout that." The same rough hands hastily attempted to straighten her out (dust off her uniform, straighten how it fell, pull her long hair down her back- only succeeding in rumpling her more) before turning her around.

It was someone from her class, another chronic latecomer (had trouble waking up if she remembered correctly). The bald one, always showing off, one of the most physically capable students in class (nemu couldn't recall the name off hand, just that he always gave her the feeling of a naked blade- harmless if left alone, but vibrant and dangerous when mishandled) who looked at her with such open fear at hurting her that something stirred deep inside.

Did he really think her to be so fragile that she couldn't handle a little fall? Nemu wondered if Mayuri-sama would be upset.

Back stepping out of his hands, Nemu told him, "I am fine."

He let out an explosive breath and grinned wildly. "Thank god." Then, remembering that they were late, his expression fell. "Crap!" He whirled and slammed open the door, completely disregarding the paper. Nemu watched it flutter to the floor as she heard her classmate skid to a stop in the middle of the classroom. He poked his head back out into the hall. "Where is everyone?"

Kneeling, Nemu picked up the paper and read through it quickly. "They've had to change the schedule because one of the instructors are sick. We're supposed to meet at the training hall in ten minutes."

"Ten minutes!" Nemu looked up idly, wondering how someone could get by with flailing emotionally as much as he did. "We gotta go!"

To her constant surprise, Nemu was jerked off her feet and running down the hall. Her classmate had grabbed her wrist (his hand looked as if it could encompass her arm twice, covering nearly half her forearm- she supposed, in comparison, he had a right to worry about hurting her) and lugged her down the hall after him.

Inside, Nemu panicked. Mayuri-sama never told her what to do in a situation like this. If he found out someone was making her run down the hall like this, what would he say? "St-Stop that!"

The male, startled that her husky voice could get so loud, came to a halt. "Huh?"

"Why are you dragging me?" She asked, pointedly looking at his hand on her arm.

"Well," he seemed oblivious to her gaze, "we're gonna be late. You don't wanna get in trouble for being late, do you?" They stood in the hall, unable to comprehend each other. He offered another (less confident) grin to placate her. "C'mon. Kerozuki, right? We gotta get going!"

Confused at the concern (why should he be worried about her getting in trouble?) Nemu loped silently behind him. His longer legs had them nearly flying down the corridor though after the first near disastrous first corner (as she slid and was nearly slingshot into the wall), he kept checking back, making sure he was dragging her along. Whenever she slowed down (for safety, not because she was tired) he encouraged her faster, tugging lightly on her wrist.

Nemu, staring in puzzlement at his back, ran silently behind him.

Though (if she had cared for that sort of thing) they certainly made an entrance at the training hall.

"We're here!" He cried, nearly falling to his knees and panting. Nemu had to lean against the door frame herself.

The entire class stopped and STARED. Nemu shifted uncomfortably, facing more toward the wall. "MADARAME!" The instructor snapped. "You're late AGAIN!" (nemu wondered how she could've forgotten his name when it was always being yelled out by angry instructors like that)

"I woulda been on time!" He panted in return. "If you didn't change the stupid schedule at the last damn minute!"

The instructor (a large, heavily muscled man who believed in physical discipline) smacked Madarame in the back of the head, nearly sprawling the smaller boy over. "Don't give me that crap! If you were at the classroom on time, you would've been here on time also! And look what you did to Kurotsuchi!"

Madarame rubbed his head and blinked. "Kuro-?"

"I'm fine, Instructor." Nemu said softly, pushing herself away from the wall. "We didn't want to be any later than we already were."

The Instructor looked down at her with an uncertain frown covering the jowls on his face. Madarame was still crouched, watching in surprise. The rest of the class went back to their training, the situation obvious already been resolved.

"All right then." He rumbled thickly. "Kurotsuchi, get one of the other students to explain today's exercise to you. Madarame, twenty laps." Nemu bowed and went quietly on her way. Madarame grunted and followed her to the back.

"Hey," he said as he caught up, "how come you didn't correct me?"

Nemu gave him a blank look.

"When I called you… er, whatever it was I called you. Why didn't you correct me?"

"I didn't want to cause problems." She said simply.

"Problems? What sort of problems are ya gonna cause with a name?" He stuffed his hands under his belt. "I feel like a jackass now, knockin' you over and then callin' you weird names."

"I thought names didn't cause problems."

He looked huffy. "It does when you get it wrong! Names are for people to remember- what's the point in having one if they get it wrong? It just means you're not worth remembering!"

Nemu didn't know what to say in response and so said nothing.

Which was fine because the instructor threw one of the sparring gloves at Madarame's head. "I told you to get running!" He muttered just loud enough for everyone to hear. "Like someone like you has a chance with Kurotsuchi."

Madarame's whole face reddened, shouting back indignantly as the class snickered, "It's called being friggin' polite, ya fat geezer! You wouldn't know flirting if you had Matsumoto over there hangin' on ya!" Several of the students burst out laughing as Matsumoto shook her head. The instructor practically threw the rest of the sparring rack at Madarame, just to get him started running. When the student went by him for the fifth time making kissy faces, the instructor chased him around with a wooden practice sword.

Nemu watched all this quietly and wondered how this was considered politeness.


	2. Top of the Caste

In which there is alot of cursing because coarse speech patterns is automatically linked to harsh language in my mind.

* * *

**Come What May  
Top of the Caste**

"This is bullshit." Ikkaku grumbled to himself. Yeah, okay, so maybe he deserved it. 'Cause, you know, cleaning the classroom and the entire outside hall by himself just for making one of the assistant teachers cry was actually a pretty good trade.

For the third time since class got out he heard the door slide back and three other assistants exiting the classroom.

"Hey, baldy!" One of them called out mockingly. "You missed a spot!" The other two laughed. Ikkaku narrowed his eyes and suppressed a growl, watching them spread the mud from their waraji down his recently cleaned hall for the third time that evening.

Maybe it /wasn't/ so fair. At least not with those dipshits goin' around and purposefully tracking crap all over the damn place. 'Sides. She deserved it. Sorta. Pickin' on all the pretty girls in class because they looked a helluva lot better than her wrinkly ass self. And, because he told her so, she started getting all huffy and high and mighty and said something about stupid bald-headed freaks and of COURSE he wasn't going to let that go and…

He thought for a moment.

Okay, so maybe he went SLIGHTLY (very slightly, almost imperceptibly) overboard when he said she'd have better luck getting a good-lookin' guy's attention if she wore a Hollow mask over that shriveled up, burnt crater she called a face.

Peeking back into classroom he saw the floor was covered in tracks, dirt smeared on the walls and ceiling. The chairs were stacked in an unruly pyramid on a group of desks in the back of the class and the rest of them formed a small maze for him to navigate through.

Teeth grinding and broom handle on the verge of snapping in his hands, Ikkaku bit his lip and tried to resign himself to fate of no sleep tonight.

Two hours later, after getting the rest of the room cleaned and straightened out, he attempted to tackle the chairs. Ten minutes later a muffled scream of frustration and fury was heard from the collapsed pyramid.

* * *

When Nemu entered the class, she was surprised to find that everyone was talking and giggling quietly to themselves. The cause for this, she found, was the body lying sprawled on the floor near an overturned chair at the far corner of the room. A couple of the guys were daring each other to poke at it but no one took it up. 

Leaning to peer over the desks, Nemu got a clear view of the body and recognized it as Madarame. Frowning slightly (she knew about his punishment and couldn't understand why he would be sleeping in the classroom if all he had to do was clean) Nemu approached the snoring boy and knelt down. If no one else was going to do it she supposed she would have to. After all, it was only proper.

The first time she tapped his shoulder. No response. The second time she shook his shoulder lightly. Still nothing. She shook it a little harder and he just snorted.

"No, no, no." Someone said over Nemu's shoulder. A broadly built student with shades that took up almost half his face- Iba, she recalled –told her, "Like this." He slammed his foot into Madarame's stomach, yelling at the top of his lungs: "GET UP YOU LAZY ASS BASTARD BEFORE WE HANG YOU UPSIDE DOWN FROM THE TREE NAKED AGAIN!" He stomped down a couple more times for good measure.

Madarame, choking from the assault, flailed wildly. "I'M UP DAMMIT I'M UP!" He rolled to his side, gasping for air. It was around that time he noticed the entire class was howling with laughter at him. Face flaring brightly he shot out, "WHAT?"

"Hang you upside down from a tree?" Matsumoto asked, raising an eyebrow. "Naked? AGAIN?"

"Shut up." He retorted before turning to Iba. "You're dead. You're so dead you'll wish you weren't."

Patting Madarame's head as if he were a child, the other student just chuckled. "Of course, kiddo. Of course." He snatched his hand back before Madarame had a chance to bite it.

Bracing a hand against a desk, Madarame pushed himself to his feet and noticed Nemu, still kneeling where he had lain. "Er…" Unable to think of anything for the situation he settled with, "Good morning?"

Rolling smoothly to her feet, Nemu smoothed out her uniform and bowed shallowly. "Good morning." She turned and took her seat with the same empty expression she always had. Madarame watched her, not knowing what else to do.

An eraser hit his head. "Madarame!" The instructor snapped. "If you're awake now, straighten up that desk and sit down!"

"All right, I hear ya. Ya fat windbag."

The chalk followed the eraser. "Watch your language, brat!"

* * *

Day 5 of solo cleanup, he thought to himself. Two more days to go and thank god for that. Ikkaku leaned heavily against the broom and yawned widely. He hadn't been able to grab more than a few hours sleep each night and barely had time to eat anything asides from lunch. 

This, he had decided, was not good for the soul. He even considered starting to watch what he said to people but decided against it. After all, if someone was an idiot, it had to be someone else's job to let 'em know that!

But he just scowled and continued to sweep. Everything was so damn political around here. You had to act polite and be nice and suck up to morons- and that was just to keep on their good side! To get ahead you had to ten times more fake than that! Times like this he regretted leaving the Rukongai where you said what you thought, went where you could go and did whatever it took to get what you needed. Wasn't much of a life but it was less headache inducing then this place.

A painful thwack on his shoulder jostled him out of his frustrated musing and, because crashing into the wall upset his balance, fell on his hands and knees. One of the assistant teachers (assistant teachers his eye, they were just students higher up in the academy doing teaching work as credit for one of their classes) spat on Ikkaku as they passed by.

"Get up off yer ass. Students these days are getting lazier and lazier! Honestly."

"Yeah." Another answered. "Hurry up and clean the damn classroom, will ya? Most of the teachers have already gone home and you haven't even touched it yet!"

Ikkaku watched their heavy backs jumble away, cackling loudly as they went. His mouth opened and shut with sharp little clicks that meant he was really, REALLY trying not to say anything. Man, if only this was the Rukongai, he thought. He'd show them who was in charge.

* * *

Morning saw Ikkaku sleeping in an almost clean hallway. Almost clean because he didn't get a chance to clean up absolutely everything from the upperclassmen's last romp. Sleeping because he decided he could afford rationing his consciousness for a minute and promptly fell asleep. 

And then woke up because he heard the familiar and teeth grinding voices of those pricks of upperclassmen somewhere down the hall.

It took him a moment to realize that they weren't harassing him.

The voices carried from somewhere around the corner and Ikkaku could only catch a couple of words. From the sound of it they were harassing some poor girl (oh god, he hoped it was a girl), able to hear terms like 'beautiful' and 'nice ass' and 'just a little kiss'.

UGH. He scowled so hard his neck hurt. The poor girl. Were this the Rukongai, he wouldn't even give it a second thought. Unless it was someone he knew.

The thought stuck in his head. Who was it, he wondered? He snuck a glance around the corner and his eyes widened.

Kurotsuchi?

She was braced against a wall, hands clasped and head down, as if the three most disgusting guys in the whole academy weren't blatantly and horribly hitting on her.

Ikkaku frowned, hand closing over the broom by his hip. Yeah. This definitely wasn't going to happen.

* * *

Nemu was obedient. She was brought up to be obedient and doing what she was told was always the first thing in her thoughts. If her superiors told her to do something, she would do it. The only one whose orders overruled all others was Mayuri-sama. In the end, it was his order that defined her every action. 

So, when faced with a situation to which he didn't give her any sort of direction, she would do what the highest positioned person would say. And, in this case, she stood by quietly as the three upperclassmen crowded around her, laughing and jostling each other as they rudely addressed her.

"Hey!" A new voice interrupted them. "Back the fuck off!"

Taken aback, Nemu looked over the other students' shoulders and straight into the glaring eyes of a broom-wielding Madarame.

"Oi." One of the upperclassmen said. "It's that bald idiot again."

"Yeah?" Another snorted. "Aren't you supposed to be cleaning something?"

"Worthless." Muttered the last.

"Get away from her. Right now."

"Or what? You gunna sweep us away?" The three cackled.

"Like you could hurt us anyway!" The first said. "We're you're superiors after all!"

That comment landed a broom handle square in the nose.

"Fuck!" He stumbled into one of his buddies, clutching his splurting nose.

"Hey you little dick!" The third snarled. "You'll get expelled for attacking us!"

"Che." Madarame replied, settling into a stance with the broom crosswise in front of his chest. "And I'll bet everyone believes you guys are friggin' angels. So how 'bout apologizing to Kurotsuchi here and running along, huh? I ain't authorized to deal with monkeys after all."

"You think you're something, don't ya? I'm gonna-" the bristles of the broom cut off the threat, scratching across his face before shoving him against the wall. He spluttered and flailed, spitting out straws as Madarame turned onto the other students.

Nemu, unsure as to what action she was to take, couldn't help the shock of surprise running through her. Madarame moved like a panther, quick and light and never once standing still. Each movement knocked the upperclassmen around and not one of their flailing attacks came close to him.

Solidly batting one of them to the ground, Madarame turned and stopped just short of pounding the broom handle into the chest of a new arrival. He looked up into a pair of slit eyes that regarded him unfavorably.

"What," the newcomer demanded roughly, "is going on here?"

The upperclassmen huddled around this new guy- swollen faced with more than one bloody nose, missing tooth and blackened eye. "Hisagi-senpai!" They pleaded. "This guy just attacked us for no reason!"

"No reason?" The apparently named Hisagi repeated. He looked up at Madarame and Nemu. "Is this true?"

"Like hell!" Madarame shot back. "They were trying to force themselves onto Kurotsuchi!"

Mildly hiding a long suffering sigh, Hisagi turned his attention to Nemu. "Which is it?"

Nemu bowed her head. "Madarame did come to my assistance, Hisagi-senpai."

"You lying bitch! We did nothing of the-hiiiii!"

Madarame snarled, pressing the blunt of the broom against the mess that was the first upperclassmen's nose. "A broken nose isn't enough to teach you to watch your mouth? I can fix that easy."

Hisagi snatched the broom away. "That's enough." He commanded. "You two," he said the Madarame and Nemu, "get to class. You three," he glared at the others, "are coming with me. I've already heard about the trouble you've caused before."

"Hi-Hisagi-senpai-"

"Move it!"

Madarame watched them leave, scowl still on his face. "Knew they weren't nothin'. Lousy, good fer nothi-"

"Madarame."

"Hm?"

Nemu's brow crinkled slightly. "Why did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Attacked them?"

He blinked. "Uh, 'cus they were being asses to you? What, was I just supposed to let that slide?"

"But they're out superiors."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Madarame claimed, throwing his arms wide. "Just 'cus they're upperclassmen doesn't make them our superiors! They're just jerks trying to flaunt the fact they're further along the academy than us! If we just let them walk all over us, what sort of message are we sending them?"

"That we can follow orders."

Silence stretched between them as Madarame tried to decide if she was being serious or joking. He came to the unfortunate conclusion that she believed what she said. "You grew up in the nicer part of the Rukongai, didn't you?" He asked, not unkindly.

"I never lived there."

"Huh." He scratched his neck, wondering if that was good or bad. Then he nodded brightly. "All right then! As you apparently don't know how to deal with these kinds of people, I'm gonna stick with you for the rest of training. Or until you can take care of yourself."

Nemu blinked in surprise. "But-"

"Nope. You need to know these things and I'm the best person for the job."

Nemu didn't know what to say in response so she said nothing. But if no one else mentioned anything about the three teacher's assistants that went missing that day or why they would wince whenever Madarame came by or did whatever he told them once they returned, Nemu decided that he might actually know something worth learning.


	3. Smile for Me

No, I didn't have to try hard to make bad poetry. I'm naturally this terrible.

* * *

**Come What May  
Smile for Me**

It took some time and persuasion for Madarame to get some time off from his other friends in order to hang around Nemu. Which was an infinitely good thing. It gave Nemu time to dwell on the situation (and she became increasingly aware that mayuri-sama wasn't going to like it) and kept her from having to be overwhelmed with loud and unruly testosterone.

Sometimes he'd come by to her seat between classes or meet up with her after the day was over. And sometimes he'd even spend lunch with her but every attempt at conversation was short lived as every response Nemu gave was short and direct and she made no attempt to expound on herself. A part of her had hoped that this would deter Madarame from sticking to her before Mayuri-sama found out.

And yet Madarame still stood by her and talked to her and pried out every bit of information he could, as if he were working at a knot that was blocking the flow of water in a hose. If he found the right bit to pull, he hoped that she would unravel and open up.

It was during one of his experimental prattling that she made a mistake. He had been telling her amusing little stories and anecdotes from his past and that in a previous life he was a Buddhist monk and that's why he kept his head shaved. He took her silence as disbelief and said he'd prove it with a profound poem that he'd make up on the spot.

At his badly constructed spiel of the balance of sunlight on grass, Nemu was horrified to find herself beginning to laugh at him. She turned her head and hid her smile behind a hand, hoping to keep from insulting him with her mirth. A moment later, Madarame sidled in front of her again.

"What's the matter?" He asked, "Somethin' wrong?"

"Not at all," came the prim reply. She had to take her hand down a moment before she had the smile under control and Madarame saw the barely upturned edges.

He jabbed an accusing finger at her. "You were smilin'!" Then, to Nemu's surprise, jumped up and whoop. "I made you smile!" He posed, one hand outstretched, the other against his chest and cried out:

"Her smile so like  
a butterfly wing  
flit here and flit gone!"

Her lips twitched again, amused at his passionate butchering, but when she tried to hide her smile again, Madarame caught her hand and grinned.

"Don't hide that fact you think my poetry sucks. I don't know a damn thing about poetry."

And once that sentence sunk in Nemu couldn't help but laugh, her hand warm in his.

* * *

From that time on, Ikkaku would write out little slips of meaningless haikus for her, pointless and misconstructed. And when it became apparent that the novelty it was beginning to wear, he began to study plays and literature, doing dramatic readings with flare so proportionally out of place he once had Kurotsuchi crying with laughter. 

One time, sitting down in the grass during lunch, catching his breath after reenacting a scene between Genji and a concubine (in which he played both parts), Ikkaku watched her mirth flushed face and something made him say, "You're beautiful when you smile."

Kurotsuchi's face immediately closed up and she packed up her small bento. "I'm going back to the classroom." She told him. Standing up, she bowed lightly to him and quickly walked off.

Ikkaku watched her go, irreparably confused.

* * *

For the next few days she didn't talk to him. Well, no, whenever Ikkaku approached her, she would just give a few curt responses and would ignore him after she figured she had been polite enough. It got to the point where Matsumoto (who everyone in class went to for advice) had gone up to him to told him to just apologize. 

"Apologize?" Ikkaku asked. "For what?"

"Whatever you did to make her wary around you, obviously." Matsumoto replied.

"I don't even know WHAT I did!"

She sighed and put a hand to her face. "That's generally the problem all men have. But usually, if you think real hard, you can figure out what it was."

Brow furrowing in thought, Ikkaku said, "The last thing that happened… I was tellin' her a story to make her laugh. And then I told her I thought she was beautiful when she smiled."

Matsumoto's eyebrows jumped. "You told her that?"

He looked up at her warily. "Yeah…"

"Word for word?"

"Yeah, why?"

Covering her face with a groan, Matsumoto told him. "You can't just outright say that to a girl unless she feels the same way about you."

"Feel like what?"

"She's probably under the impression that you have a crush on her, now. And she obviously doesn't feel the same way or doesn't want to get caught up in a relationship right now."

Ikkaku waved his hands around. "Whoa, whoa, wait! She thinks I got a crush on her?"

"Do you?" She asked lowly. "You've been spending an awful lot of time with her."

"I'm tryin' to get her to be a little more sociable for one thing!" Ikkaku snarled. "And I wanna make sure no one's gonna be walkin' all over her for another!"

"Well congratulations. You know what you did wrong and now you can apologize."

"I ain't gonna apologize!" He said indignantly. "I was being honest! She IS beautiful when she smiles- I'm not apologizing for that!"

"Well if you're not going to apologize," the other student said shortly, "then stop sulking."

"Who's sulking?"

"You, obviously, or I wouldn't be here talking to you."

"Feh! Like I need advice from you." Ikkaku turned away imperiously. "I can deal with my own problems. ON my own."

"Right." Matsumoto said slowly. "I'm sure you can."

* * *

That day, coming in from lunch, Nemu saw a note on her desk. Scribbled inside was a short poem: 

Sorry my honesty  
frightened you away  
shall we try again?

Looking around, she saw Madarame giving her a repentant grin. She looked down at the poem again and couldn't keep from smiling.

Once she had sat down, Ikkaku leaned back with a sigh of relief. And then a ball of paper hit him in the head. Scowling and scooping it up from the ground it read:

I'm expecting a thank you for the advice.

Ikkaku looked at Matsumoto and scowled. She just smiled in return.


	4. Setting Stages

In which there is foreshadowing. And me nearly forgetting entirely about the previous 12th's captain.

* * *

**Come What May  
Setting Stages**

"I'm not so certain..."

"Ah, but just think! If these work, even the most timid of students would be able to hold their own against overwhelming odds!"

"But there are already plenty of strength supplements in the Gotei-13-"

"But not like this. When given, every individual person will work and act as a single entity, the chaos of battle will be all but extinguished. It will, in short, give the commander the most perfect tools to fight with."

There was another uncertain pause. "Well... It has been approved of by Urahara-taichou. All right, Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou. If you believe it will work. There's a class that's ready to do field testing against low-level Hollows. I'll leave them to you, then."

Mayuri's grin was luminescent. "Thank you."

* * *

"Man, what's up with this?" Ikkaku stretched out, Iba slumped beside him. Their class was prepared to go on their weekly field test but were called to their seats right before they were set to leave. 

"Don't know, don't care." Fixing his shades over his face, Iba slumped down further. "Wake me up when it's time to leave."

"Dammit, why the hell do I have to stay awake?"

Sighing, Iba lifted up a fist. "Fine, let's do it."

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

He cushioned his head again. "Like I said, wake me up when we leave."

Ikkaku glared. "You're a goddamn cheat."

"You just suck at rock, paper, scissors. Now shut up so I can sleep."

"Che!" Propping his head against a fist, Ikkaku scowled. "Then sleep, lazy ass bastard."

"All right, all right!" Their instructor pounded a desk for silence. "Everyone listen up! This time, we're going out to deal with a group of low-level Hollows. The one in charge of this field test is going to be Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou, vice-captain of the 12th division. He's here to administer an experimental pill that will enhance your fighting prowess. Half of you will be given this pill, the other half will be given a placebo. The results will be monitored closely, so everyone do your best.

"There will be no assigned squads today. Everyone will be moving in a large group as this area is notorious for the high concentration of Hollows. If any of you feel overwhelmed, retreat into the main body. Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou is there only to observe and intervene only when necessary. Otherwise, you're on your own."

As the instructor spoke, the instructor assistants went down the rows, giving each student one pill. Ikkaku rolled his around in his fingers for a moment, scrutinizing the little thing before deciding, what the hell? and popped it in his mouth. Iba slumbered blissfully beside him and Ikkaku picked up his and swallowed that, too.

Teach him to sleep during a briefing.

* * *

For the first few minutes, Mayuri let the class do whatever they wanted. Once their confidence was built up enough, he would crush his experimental Hollow bait. Field testing two inventions at once. Mayuri loved being efficient. 

He looked around the group as they mingled and acted generally bored with the task at hand. They were a fairly advanced class and a good number of them held high seats for their class year. Mayuri had studied every student thoroughly before picking which ones would test out his new pill. Most were lower level students, but he also picked out some of the more powerful ones to see to what level spirit power the pill would stop having an effect.

Bringing out a small microphone from his hand, Mayuri whispered into it: "Move to the outer edge of the group." He smiled when his little rodents subconsciously did his bidding and broke the bait.

* * *

"So that's your dad, huh?" 

"Yes."

"Weird lookin' guy." Madarame said conversationally, following her sedately through the crowd.

"I suppose." Nemu replied quietly.

"Your actual dad or just someone that took you in?"

"My real father."

"Huh." He tapped his sheathed sword against his shoulder. "Can't say I see a family resemblance."

Giving a noncommittal noise, Nemu slid her gaze toward Mayuri-sama. He was grinning darkly out at the students and hadn't seen her yet. A part of her felt like she was somewhat thankful for that. She hoped Madarame would leave before they were noticed.

"Oi."

Nemu stopped and turned, surprised at the sudden seriousness in Madarame's voice. "You're not upset with me about anything again, are ya? We're cool now, aren't we?"

She dipped her head slightly, unable to think of a way to explain that she had eventually come to enjoy his company and his strange jabber could be soothing on occasions. She couldn't think of a way to say that she never was upset with him but was worried about what Mayuri-sama would say about her relationship with a male. She couldn't think of a way to say that, if Mayuri-sama would become angry at his closeness, she didn't want Madarame to be hurt.

So, instead, she gave him the barest hint of a smile and said, "We are."

Another student walked between them at that moment and Nemu took the chance to slip away. When she looked at Mayuri-sama again, she was victim to another furious scowl.

* * *

"What's got your panties in a bunch?" 

Ikkaku scowled. "Shut the hell up." He told Iba, kicking and cursing his way toward the outer edge of the group. Iba followed quietly until they were far enough away Ikkaku felt comfortable enough to bitch.

"Man, why the hell are women so hard to understand?"

An eyebrow rose up behind reflective shades. "You know, maybe I should get Matsumoto to explain things to you. 'S what she's good for, after all."

He scoffed. "I don't need some chick to tell me anything."

"Well, just a thought. I mean, as I don't know much about women and you know less then I do and Matsumoto is, unless there's something I seriously don't want to know about, a woman, I thought that would be the most obvious of decisions."

"It's just annoying, okay? I mean, sometimes everything's great and she'll seem like an actual PERSON and not some shy little thing afraid to do stuff. And then she'll just clam up and it's hell trying to get her open again!"

"You know what I'd do?" But Ikkaku wasn't really listening to his friend. Instead there was something else that seemed to be trying to get his attention. "I'd give up on her. I mean, she's hot as anything but she's so unresponsive!" Something that kept niggling at the back of his head and demanding he do what it said. "She's always gonna be like that and that ain't gonna change." And it said 'get ready'. "No matter what you try- what's the matter?"

Ikkaku was looking around, eyes narrowed. "Something's happening." He said quietly. Around him, a dozen others were scanning the area.

"What?"

From several different spots came the cries of 'Hollow!'

* * *

Mayuri cackled happily to himself. The current situation had temporarily dispelled the rage at finding Nemu unnaturally close to some muscle head. Several Hollows had shown up of varying strengths and, from what he could sense, several more were on their way. All the commands he'd given his unwitting guinea pigs had, so far, been followed to the order. When he told them to fall back, they did. When he said move to the right, they did. And when he told them to allow the next attack to give them a minor injury, the crowd threw out screams of pain. 

He had the class representative, the one who gave out the orders so long as it wasn't necessary for Mayuri to step in and given the subliminal pill for this very reason, explain the situation on his communicator to the instructors. When asked if backup was needed, the student told them if they needed help, Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou was with them. Mayuri sneered to himself before sending the class rep back into battle.

Nemu stood beside him, properly broken so Mayuri didn't feel the need to include her in this experiment. Her eyes were tinged with sadness but she kept her gaze to the ground. He knew it was to keep him from thinking that… MALE as being more than just some friendly classmate. That was fine, he already knew who it was. Some worthless street punk from one of the seedier Rukongai districts. His only saving point was his fighting ability. Unless Zaraki requested more people the brat couldn't hope for a future within the Gotei-13.

"Stop with that stupid look." Mayuri scowled at Nemu. "This is to ensure that these roaches will be useful. After all," his smile was more like an aggressive show of teeth, "those that aren't useful are made to die."

Bringing up his microphone again, Mayuri decided to give the pill the ultimate test:

"Drop your swords and fear."

* * *

His sword clattered to the ground and Ikkaku couldn't bring himself to pick it up. Couldn't bring himself to do more than stand there and SHAKE. A claw whipped around and caught him in the shoulder, slamming him to the ground as it damn near tore his arm off. Clutching at his arm and whimpering, Ikkaku had never felt so weak since his days as a street rat. The Hollow rose up like that giant merchant from his memories, claw waving like a cleaver that threatened to swing down on a little child caught pilfering a blanket. 

His mind chanted at him 'fear fear fear fear fear'

A body stepped between him and the Hollow and rough hands were dragging him backwards by his uniform collar.

"What the hell are you doing?" Someone was screaming at him. "Get up and fight!"

Mouth working soundlessly, Ikkaku only managed to let out another whimper, remembering how scared he was of that man and how certain he was that he'd die.

"Pick up your sword!" The person shouted in his ear. "Pick it up and fall back! Protect the injured!"

'Protect'. It was the only word that echoed louder than 'fear' in his mind. 'Protect' and it made him sit up, looking around wildly. And he found her standing safely by the vice-captain- by her father's side and when she met his gaze for a mere second, all he saw was resignation and farewell.

Hollows were lumbering among the students, isolating them into groups and she was already counting him among the dead. His mind told him 'fear' but the memories of fear gave way to 'fight'.

Because he kicked and fought the merchant and hadn't died. He fought the rival kids that ganged up on him and hadn't died. He fought and snarled for every inch he took anywhere and he had yet to die. No matter how afraid he was, it was Ikkaku's natural instinct to fight back.

"Hey! Hey ugly!" The Hollow reared around and snorted at the little figure that was waving frantically at him. "That's right, ya window lickin' assclown! Over here!" The Hollow roared and launched itself at Ikkaku who- his brain narrowed out the command to fear as it prepared for fight –dropped into a stance and-

He never picked up his sword.

-dove frantically out of the way of an enraged Hollow. "Shit!" He cried out. "Shitshitshit!" The Hollow turned for a second pass and Ikkaku hastily backpedaled. Until the mask was dashed to piece.

"You retard!" Iba shouted at him. "What the hell were you gonna do without your damned sword?" He tossed the thing like it was a javelin, catching Ikkaku in the gut.

"Waiting for back up!" He coughed back. "Not my fault you're so damn slow!"

"Yeah, well try keeping a hand on it from now on, okay?" Iba grumbled out as they stood back to back against a circle of Hollows. "This may take a while."

* * *

As sadistic as Mayuri-sama could get, he still understood that some people thought fatalities during experimenting wasn't worth it and so, after the first two students died, decided he would end the experiments and killed off the remaining Hollows. He allowed Nemu to help her injured classmates. 

She tried not to let it show, she tried not to even think about it too much but the worry whittled at her mind. During the conflict she lost sight of Madarame and, though she knew it was foolish to think of it, wondered if he was badly hurt.

Stop. She told herself. Mayuri-sama isn't happy already that he saw you talking with Madarame. He would be even more furious if he knew you were worried.

"-so fucking reckless, you idiot."

"-not exactly the height of caution yourself so shut the hell up."

Nemu almost snapped her head around at the voice but had enough control to merely pause from the pressure bandage she was doing on someone's leg. Lifting her head up slightly, she saw Madarame coming among their classmates, he and his friend were supporting each other, both looked to be close to their last leg. Iba had a large gash down the side of his face, shades long broken and discarded.

"You two are pretty cheery." One of the higher ranking classmates told them as they passed.

"You can shut the hell up, too." Madarame told her. "I'm just gonna collapse here for a little while." And promptly did so. His weight dragged Iba down on top of him. "Ow- goddamn, you bastard! Get the hell offa me!"

"If you didn't drop like friggin' dead weight like that, we wouldn't be having this problem!"

Quickly tying off the bandage, Nemu hurried over to the two. Their wounds were more numerous and serious looking than the other students who had yet to be treated, she reasoned with herself. The higher rank was already working on their injuries- Kotetsu, recalled Nemu, well versed in Demon Arts and with passable healing skills. Nemu knelt down by Madarame and peeled apart his tattered haori from where it stuck to his chest.

He blinked up at her. "Kurotsuchi?"

"Your injuries aren't life threatening." She told him plainly, running soft fingers across his ribs to see if the bruises had broken any.

"Hey." She paused at the almost-softness of his voice. "You saw me earlier, right? You thought I was gonna die, didn't you?"

She had no reason to lie. "Yes."

"Che." He laid his head back, words slurring slightly as adrenaline wore off. "Don't go killin' me off early. Still got surprises in me yet."

Nemu watched him quietly, a hand pressed against his chest, feeling his pulse and breathing slowed to an exhausted sleep. It was only then she realized how fast her heart was beating.


	5. Daily Reprieve

For all the Ikkaku/Nemu fans out there. Who I am completely shocked even exist o.O;;

* * *

**Come What May  
Daily Reprieve**

Days like this Nemu had almost convinced herself that she'd run into Madarame by coincidence. And that she had brought enough lunch to share with him for the same reason. It had, she reasoned, nothing to do with the fact that he had lost another bet to someone about something or other and thus forfeited his money and went hungry throughout class.

When she'd offer some of her own lunch to him (never anything extravagant, or all that tasty, really) his entire face would brighten up and he'd look as if he was going to hug her and Nemu would turn her head slightly away and tell herself that her face was warm because the sun was bright that day.

Madarame sighed happily, munching on his half of an odango (she only had one and he outright refused to take it all). "You're such a wonderful person, Kurotsuchi. If it weren't for you, I'd starve!"

She lowered her eyes and smiled happily. "It's fine."

Swallowing the last of it, he told her, "No, really. I really appreciate this. Always sharin' your lunch with me, I'm gonna pay you back." He brightened at the idea. "Hey, yeah! Next chance I get, I'm gonna buy YOU lunch, how's that? Whatever you want."

Nemu was shocked. "No, that's okay. You don't need to do that."

"I insist!" He said importantly. "And it's rude to turn down an invitation like that!"

"I'm… sorry."

His posing fell. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that, you know. I'm only foolin'."

"No, it's not that." She sighed somewhat heavily. "Mayuri-sama…"

"Who?"

"My father."

Madarame wrinkled his nose. "That creepy guy? What about him?"

Her mind roared with the sound of his screeching and the sting of his blows against her face. "Mayuri-sama isn't… happy. That we're… close."

There was silence for a few seconds. "Wait." Madarame braced his hands against his knees. "He doesn't like that we're friends? Come on! You're old enough to make your own choices!" Snorting, he scowled at nothing. The scowl eventually faded and he made a face dangerously close to a pout. "So, uh, what'd he say about me?"

Nemu's brow furrowed in thought. "He said that you were rude and ill-mannered and at the rate you were going, you wouldn't amount to anything worth bothering about."

He scowled again, defiantly. "Yeah, well," he proclaimed loudly, "if I listened to every snub-nosed bastard like him, I woulda been dead long ago!"

Silence reigned on again and, catching quick glances at her bowed head time and again, Madarame was beginning to think he got her upset again.

"Madarame." Nemu said finally. "Do you listen to anyone?"

"Hm? Ah…" he jutted out his lower jaw, thinking. "Well, I dunno, really. I mean, I don't listen to just ANY one, but… I guess if they prove themselves to be a good leader I'd listen to them."

"A good leader."

"Yeah, like…" and here his grin grew and his expression became animated again, "like one of those great generals from the stories. The kind that you WANT to throw your life away for. Because they make you feel like you could take on anything and nothing matters except fighting and winning and having them disappointed in you is like the world ending." Madarame's fists clenched and his lips curled in anticipation. "THAT'S the kinda guy I'd listen to."

Nemu lowered her eyes. "Is… fighting all that you care about?"

"Well, not really. I mean, che, I LIKE fighting. I'm good at it! I don't really care about Demon Arts or nothin' so I'm really bad at it. But I've been fightin' my whole life. It's like it's part of who I am." He fumbled for words, "…You know?"

She looked at him blankly.

"Okay, guess not. Um, well, I like drinkin' and gamblin'. Can't go wrong with those." That blank look failed to abate in the slightest. "Alright, so maybe if you're not careful, you can." He flopped onto the grass, cushioning his head. "Che, I like a lot of things, really. Fightin's just somethin' that sorta happens."

"It seems to happen to you more than anyone else."

He grinned cheekily. "Some of us were born to fight, I guess. What about you? What do you care about?"

Nemu's eyes widened. "…I care about Mayuri-sama."

"Anything else?"

She frowned slightly, trying to come up with answers to a question she never before considered. "I care about doing a good job. About not disappointing Mayuri-sama."

Madarame propped himself on his elbows and looked unhappy with her train of thought. "Yeah, okay. But what do you like to do? For yourself?"

Folding her hands in her lap, Nemu lowered her head and admitted quietly, "I… don't really have anything I enjoy."

Silence crawled between them and Nemu couldn't help but feel that she had done something wrong. Eventually, Madarame sat up and held out a hand. She looked at it blankly.

He motioned with his outstretched hand. "Gimme your hand." More curious than wary, she slowly placed her hand in his. It was thin and pale, like a doll's hand inside his wide grip. "You know you can tell a lot about a person by their hands." Madarame examined hers like he'd never seen on before, pinching the knuckles and moving each finger. "We use our hands for damn near everything and they grow into what we subconsciously want them to do. It's like they're a personality all their own.

"Mine, for instance, are callused, the tendons are strong and the knuckles are large. Shows that I fight a lot. Matsumoto's are thin like yours, but her fingers are long and either dry or a little dirty. That's 'cause she likes to be outside a lot, working with stuff. And if you look at Iemura's hands, his're always stained with ink. He likes to read and write, that's why he does so well on tests. But they're also stiff because he likes to pose like a tool."

"You seem to know about hands fairly well."

Madarame looked up at her with a sharp grin. "They're interesting. Everyone's hands are different. Some people's hands don't seem to match their personalities, either. But when you understand them, then you'll always see a connection. It's like a science." His attention turned back to her hand and his grin fell without him noticing. He made an odd noise in the back of his throat.

"What?" Nemu asked despite herself.

"Never seen hands like yours before." He lifted her hand and turned it, changing the angle the light fell on it. "Very soft. Don't do a lot, do ya?" He asked, not unkindly. "Your fingers are very tapered and they got a good range of motion. My guess is you'd be good at making things. You ever try origami before?"

Nemu watched Madarame turn her hand over, tracing and pushing lightly at her palm with a thick thumb. "A little." She told him, her fingers curling instinctively against the pressure and their tips brushed across his knuckle. "Mayuri-sama didn't see a need in the talent and told me to stop."

"Did you like it, do you remember?"

His fingers were bending hers again, barely touching and surprisingly gentle. It reminded her of folding small sheaves of paper, watching as little objects came to being under her touch.

"Maybe you could get into the 4th division. Or maybe the 12th. Your dad's vice-captain of that division, right? Maybe you could get in there and make stuff."

Nemu smiled slightly. "Make stuff?"

"You know." Madarame made a face. "Whatever it is they do. You should try making stuff again, it'd probably do you some good."

Her smile grew and he chuckled. Madarame was… strange. He seemed to be a very rough-edged and careless. However, being so close to him, Madarame could be insightful, caring and- with his lip curling sharply like that –not unpleasant to look at. Flushing at the boldness of her own thoughts, Nemu's attention was turned back to her hand. Which Madarame was absent mindedly softly rubbing.

Reluctantly she pulled it away. "Are you always like this?"

"Like what?"

"You're always so loud and animated and…" it took a slight inner struggle to get the next word out, "strange."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Pressing her lips together, Nemu admitted, "No, I guess not. You seem to be happy with yourself."

Madarame grinned. "Hell yeah, I am! See, the secret to life, I figure is this." He leaned in conspiratorially. "When faced with a decision ya got two choices: do it, or don't do it. I think it'd be pretty crappy to live your life regretting something you didn't do. In fact," he proclaimed loudly, leaning back again, "I believe it so much I make sure all of my friends live a regret-free life. And right now, YOU are a piece of work."

Nemu looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"You're so wound up in what other people tell you and being so proper, honestly, you look a little miserable. People can see that look on you and know that you'd do what you're told so they'll walk all over you." Madarame jerked a thumb toward his chest. "That's what I'm here for."

"To protect me?"

He scratched his head. "Not so much 'protect'. I'm probably not gonna be around you all the time, so you need to learn to take care of yourself. Think of me more like a, uh, a guidance councilor that kicks ass." He concluded with a wide grin.

Nemu had long gotten over hiding her laughter.


	6. Odds Against

Last one before Otakon. Anyone see me out there (i'll be tsubasa!syaoran, shikamaru or hollow!ichigo), feel free to say hi.

* * *

**Come What May  
Odds Against**

Technically the exams were over. Well, for those that weren't looking to get seats in other divisions. It took three days to complete the final exams, the class and the testing broken up into thirds. A third of the class would do their Demon Arts exam one day, written exam the next and the physical exam on the last. The fourth day was reserved for those that wanted officer spots in the Gotei-13. Assuming, of course, they were even accepted.

Nemu's testing had gone over fairly well. She had received fairly high scores in both the written and Demon Arts portion and, the only reason she hadn't done so well in the physical exam was because she was pitted against Kotetsu. Even though Nemu's spirit level was above average, Kotetsu was one of the more physically capable females in the class, leaving the match up a little one-sided.

She was surprised, however, that Madarame had opted to try for a seat with the scores he had. But he looked so confidant in himself and hopeful in the outcome that when he had grabbed her shoulders and asked her in his loud, energetic way, Nemu found herself agreeing to cheer for him.

Quite a few of her classmates where at the training grounds, a good number of them not participating in the competition. From the looks of it, it was beginning to wind down, chattering excitedly about the anticipatory final bout. Nemu was lost in the back of the crowd when Matsumoto found her.

"Ha! So you did come!"

Nemu bowed her head in greeting, but her expression was confused. "I'm sorry?"

Matsumoto smiled, rubbing at her face with a sleeve. It came away ashy. "Ikkaku said you were going to come. I guess he can be right every once in a while."

"Were you in the competition, too?"

"I was." She said, taking her hair out of its loose ponytail. "Until that last match. Did you just get here?"

"Yes."

"I was in the semis. Iba distracted me with a low-level blast spell. Hit me right in the face and he just came up and clonked me in the head." She scowled to herself. "I'm going to get that bastard back."

Nemu nodded politely. "And Madarame? How did he do?"

Matsumoto looked at her for a long second. "Come on." She said, grabbing Nemu's wrist. "Not like you can see a lot from back here, anyway."

The match was ending as she dragged Nemu away, resulting in the two taking a wide turn to get to the next match. Along the way, Matsumoto asked, "You don't mind if I ask you a couple things, do you?"

"No." Nemu said.

"Good." She stopped under a tree and turned toward Nemu. "I just want to make sure that Ikkaku isn't planning on seducing you or anything." Despite herself, Nemu's eyebrows jumped. Which made Matsumoto snort. "He's not actually going to, you know. He's too straight forward and simple-minded to do anything like that."

"Then… why would you say that?"

"Because." Matsumoto placed her hands against her hips. "I'm a little worried that you two may end up too attached. We're not even out of the academy yet and you're father is a vice-captain. Even if he doesn't call it that way, Ikkaku thinks he has to protect you from everyone. But the only division that would consider taking him in would be the 11th and your skills aren't up to par for them."

"I know." Nemu said. "Mayuri-sama is going to request me into the 12th division, as it is."

That made Matsumoto frown. "That's another thing. From all the times your father's watched over our field testing, he's been rather hostile toward Ikkaku. He doesn't approve of him, does he?"

Nemu lowered her head. "No."

"And," Matsumoto's voice lowered, "he doesn't seem to be a very kind person, either."

Nemu's eyes darkened and her hands tightened together. "He is my father. He treats me as he believes I deserve."

"Except everyone else doesn't think you deserve it. That means, unfortunately, you're standing on a divide here. On one side is your father, probably your only family, right? On the other there's Ikkaku. He's no father figure, but he's attentive. They won't be able to survive each other's presence. You have to chose one and leave the other behind. You realize that, don't you?"

Nemu said nothing. Matsumoto ruffled her blonde hair and sighed.

"I'm not trying to lecture you and I don't want to put you in a spot, Kurotsuchi. In the Rukongai, we take family and close relations very seriously. But for all his bluster, Ikkaku's a good guy. Just think about your choices carefully, okay?" She reached out and squeezed Nemu's upper arm gently. "The final match should be starting. I'll see you there."

But after Matsumoto left, Nemu stood under the tree, lost in thought. And there she stood through the entirety of the fight and the cheering riot at its end and it was there that Madarame eventually found her.

"Kurotsuchi! Oi!" She turned in time to get heavy hands clamping heavily around her shoulders. "Didja see didja see? I won! I'm at the top of the class in fighting skills!" Madarame was still a little out of breath and had a long, bloody scrape along the edge of his jaw that hadn't been tended to. The red had already dried on his uniform.

"I'm sorry." She told him earnestly. "I didn't have a chance to watch."

"Don't worry about it. You're here now and I can tell you all about it!" He puffed out his chest proudly, stepping back to give ample storytelling room. "Me an' Iba, we've been fightin' each other to get top spot for a while now. And then this chance comes along so, hell yeah! We take this time to prove who's the best fighter in front of EVERY one. So we start and we're both exhausted from other fights but- WHAM! He just comes down on me and starts wailin' away and just about the only thing I could do was just block."

He started pantomiming pounding down a sword on some invisible enemy, Nemu watched the dramatic reenactment with a warm smile. He danced back and forth, parrying and slashing and scuffling in circles when retelling of locked swords and letting off strange noises to indicate the use of Demon Arts.

"An' then he shoves me away," Madarame said, jumping back a good five feet, arms pulled to his side defensively, "and comes at me with a swipe to my back. I know he's doin' that 'cause he wants me to drop my guard in front. I've seen him do that in other fights so he can set off a blast spell in my face. But this," Madarame grins, "was what I've been trainin' for since the beginning. I've gone out by myself after curfew, working on a fighting form just so I get to the top!

"So he plants his feet like this, swings in from the side and BAM, I block the stroke. But he's been workin' on this technique. Mixin' swordplay with Demon Arts so his hand continues out and he's already chantin' for a level one spell." He tells her, hand flying out in some movement for a spell he never cared to remember. "And he pulls back just enough and I see my chance! His chest is open and POW!" He jabbed his fist out. "Got my sheath half way in his fat gut!"

Nemu blinked. "Your sheath?"

At that, Madarame beamed. "Yeah! No one else ever used their sheath in a fight so I figure, ya know, I'll just surprise the hell outta everyone! So now I got HIM on the run and every time he takes a swing, I block it with the sheath and jab him with the sword and- ow!" He hissed, jerking back slightly.

"I'm sorry." Nemu replied, but didn't move her hand away. She had pulled a handkerchief from her belt, using her thumb to gently rub off the blood that had dried against Madarame's jaw. "That must have been a hard fight to draw blood with wooden practice swords."

"Er, uh, yeah." He suddenly stammered out, surprised at her move. "Gonna hurt in the mornin', but it's worth it."

Nemu smiled, dabbing at the lines that reopened and slowly blossomed fresh blood. She held the handkerchief against his jaw. "You should get that cleaned."

"Mmm." He stood quietly before her and Nemu could feel his neck flex as he swallowed and his chest move with his breath. "Kurotsuchi," Madarame's voice came out thinly, forcing Nemu's attention to his face. She was suddenly aware of his close proximity and took a half step backward, withdrawing her hand. Her movement bringing his own focus back, Madarame stood up straighter and licked his dry lips. "We're, uh, not gonna be in the same division, are we?"

His sudden pessimism and the pained expression on his face made Nemu's stomach plummet. It was later, scrutinizing that feeling, that she realized she didn't want him to ever have that expression again. But it was that feeling, at that moment, that set her mouth at a thin line and caused her to let out an involuntary "Don't…"

"But, ah," Madarame took a couple steps back, himself, pulling on a bad imitation of his usual energy, "it's not like it's the end of the world, right? I mean, we still got a week before we actually graduate and we can still talk to each other. Won't be all that easy but we're friends, so…" his rambling faded out and he took another step away. "I'll… I'll see you later, okay, Kurotsuchi?"

He waved and jogged off. Nemu's raised hand fell to her side as she watched him go. But despite his assurance, that pain never eased from his expression and Nemu felt as if this would be the last time she saw him as a friend.


	7. One Step Beyond

Zanpakuto de-mystified! Or not

* * *

**Come What May  
One Step Beyond**

After everything was done- all scores tallied, paperwork filled out, division assignments and checking out of the Academy, there was one last and final thing that had to be done before they were official part of the Soul Society:

Receiving their Zanpakuto.

Because it was considered a very intimate and personal process, each graduate would be sent for one at a time and guided by an overseer to their new partner.

Nemu sat patiently before the overseer as he explained the process to her.

"Do you understand, Kurotsuchi?" He asked kindly.

"I do."

"Then, please," he indicated with a sweep of his hand, "call out with your power until you are answered."

Calming herself to a meditative state, Nemu reached out tentatively. She didn't know how long she sat there, but in this small room, locked away deep in the heart of the academy, undisturbed from the rest of the bustle of the school day, she felt an odd sensation. As if she could feel things that weren't previously there. It wasn't like how a person felt. It was just as distinctive, each one feeling different from the rest but these were more powerful, more sublime. As if her mind were passing through a forest of colored silks.

She was searching for something now, she could feel it. A silent beckoning that carried her further into the forest. The call was so seductive and warm that Nemu began to get frustrated when she couldn't reach it. The more she became frustrated, the less she could feel it and began to panic.

Where are you? She called out desperately in her mind. Please! Where are you?

It called out again and Nemu chased after it, wanting only to be near that feeling again.

"Wait!" She cried. "Wait for me, I- I want to find you!"

"You needn't worry. I am here."

Nemu crashed through the forest, the words making her fly through her mind and she stumbled forward. The ground sifted around her feet and she nearly fell over. Shocked at the sudden transition, she looked around. The forest of silk was gone and instead she stood along a fog strewn beach. A mountain loomed somewhere in the distance and the waves simultaneously crashed and lapped against the pebbled ground. A small archipelago of boulders broke the surface and, on the tallest one, perched as if the world was its to own, was a crane.

It regarded her coolly, neck gracefully arched as its white body shimmered under the gray light and sea spray. Nemu, surprised at its powerful, enchanting presence and its sheer beauty, collapsed to her knees with a soft gasp. It bowed its head and regarded her with eyes far more intelligent than she had ever seen.

"Nemu." It said in a voice as androgynously soothing as it was wise.

"Yes." She breathed, not daring to move before it.

"Do not be afraid." With a delicate flick of its wings, it fluttered to a closer boulder. "I shall not hurt you."

She trembled in fear and, for the first time, excitement. "Who… are you?"

Its eyes half closed with amusement. "I am your partner. Do you disapprove?"

"You're… magnificent."

The crane threw back its glorious red head and trilled out a laugh. "Thank you." It told her. "I am glad to hear that."

Before she had realized it, Nemu's hand had been half outstretched, wanting to run her fingers down the soft, slick feathers. She pulled it away abruptly.

The crane tilted its head slightly, fluttering onto the beach itself. "You may touch me. I do not mind."

"I…"

At her silence, the crane walked around, strutting silently against the sand and Nemu was surprised when gentle, warm feathers brushed against her cheek.

"Do not be afraid." It said, a wing stretched out against her. "Do not think you are not worthy. For it you were not, I would not have called to you."

"I am sorry. I don't know what to do, I've never been told…"

"Some things will not always be laid out for you. Some things must be figured out on your own. But you need not worry, little Nemu." It voice was so incredibly warm and soothing Nemu didn't want to ever leave its presence. "For I will always be with you and I shall always protect you."

Braver, but still hesitant, Nemu petted the feathers against its breast. The crane cooed in approval. "May I have your name?"

"My name?" The crane's wing enveloped her. "You know my name. You just merely have to say it."

* * *

Ikkaku wasn't sitting in the waiting room when he was supposed to go in. Instead he was pacing up and down, bouncing on his toes or, when his nerves got to be too much, did some exercises. He was in the middle of sparing an imaginary foe when the doors unlocked and slid back.

Kurotsuchi stepped out, clutching a sword tightly to her chest and blissfully happy smile on her face.

"Oi, Kurotsuchi." He said, curious at her expression. "You, uh, got you sword, right? What's it like?"

Holding the sword even tighter she said, "It's wonderful." And hurried off to show her father.

Ikkaku watched her go, confused.

"Madarame Ikkaku?" The overseer asked.

He pivoted on a heel. "Yeah, that's me."

"Come in." He led the way toward a cushion in the middle of the floor. "Have a seat."

Ikkaku kneeled on the cushion. "So, what do I do?"

"You need to calm yourself and focus your power. This room is an amplifier that allows you to connect with the spirits that reside in the Zanpakuto. Call for one and the one that answers will be your sword." The overseer took his own seat and cleared his throat. "Your Zanpakuto is your partner. They lend you their strength and their power and they are the ones you will depend on with your life and that you must care for as if they were a part of you."

Ikkaku snorted. "You talk like they're alive."

A cryptic smile was his answer. "They are very much alive, Madarame-kun. You shall soon see."

"All right then. Where is this sword?" He asked, slapping his thighs, fidgety.

"You need to be in a meditative state. Reach out with you will and when you are answered, you will be brought into your inner world."

Ikkaku blinked. "My what?"

For the first time that day (despite how many times he had to repeat this process), the overseer's annoyance broke surface. "Your inner world? It's where most meetings with your Zanpakuto happens. Didn't you pay attention in class?"

"Pfft. Not particularly."

Biting back a comment the overseer continued. "The inner world is the place where you meet with the embodiment of your Zanpakuto. All inner worlds are crafted for each individual Zanpakuto and their partner. Some don't even adhere to the laws of physics or-"

"Yeah, yeah, can we get on with this?" Ikkaku cut in. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could get to his division.

The overseer sighed. "Of course, go ahead."

Giving a noisy, aggressive inhale, the graduate held it for a few seconds before slowly blowing out the breath. His body sagged, automatically relaxing from months of practice. The room was suddenly filled with the presence of countless beings. But before Ikkaku could give a couple of them an experimental nudge, the force of one of them shot through his mind, dragging him to it without his consent and barely a chance for struggle.

By the time he managed to fight back, the presence released him and the first thing Ikkaku realized was the pole that was digging into his abdomen. The second thing was that this uncomfortable pole was also the only thing holding him up. Latching onto the thing with all available appendages, Ikkaku scuttled on top, balancing somewhat awkwardly on the balls of his feet.

"Hahaha! Nice reflexes, kid."

Ikkaku whirled- well, attempted to, nearly fell over, righted himself again and glared over his shoulder. Then nearly fell off the pole entirely.

"Wh-wh-wh-what the hell are you?" He cried, hugging onto the pole again.

The being in question took a cultured drag from his long pipe, one leg crossed over a bent knee, standing on another pole as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "I?" He asked, words gruff through double rows of sharp, crooked teeth and thin black lips. "I am the one that brought you here."

"Here?" Ikkaku looked around. The landscape (if it could be called that) was dotted with bamboo poles of varying heights. Below them was nothing but sky. Above them was the rippling of a lake, complete with the underside of lily pads and bamboo poles- as if he were looking up from under the lake.

"That," Ikkaku told the, er, thing, plainly, "is highly disturbing."

"Don't be so rude." He took another drag. "I live here."

"What're you talking about?"

"I'm your partner. The overseer did explain this, didn't he?"

"I wouldn't know." Ikkaku grumbled, gaining back his wobbly stance atop the pole again. Now, though, he had a clearer view of his addresser.

He- undoubtedly male from the voice, speech patterns and appearance –was a demon taken from the pages of some old folktale. His face was a lumpy red mess with bulbous yellow eyes, long, thin eyebrows, jutting lower fangs, a pair of horns and wild hair. His hands were gnarled and thick fingered, the long nail on his right pinky clicked rhythmically against the pipe. Draped over his shoulders was a shinigami haori, though his pants were gray and tattered, huge clawed feet bare.

"I've been watching over you during your training." The demon said conversationally. "You're really something."

"Thanks." Ikkaku said distractedly, trying not to fall over.

"I think you and I would make a good team."

"Oh?"

"Raw strength. That's what we both like, right? You just need to think a little less linearly. And that," the demon tapped his broad forehead, "is what I'm here for."

"You?"

"You're still young and hotheaded. I'm much older, wiser and less inclined to chase people around for a fight."

Finally finding a balance, Ikkaku looked around again. "This place is seriously fucked up."

"I also tend to listen to people better."

"No disrespect or nothin', but what's the point of this?"

"The point?" The demon repeated. "Well, I guess the point is this." He stood, putting the pipe in a jagged opening between a couple teeth. "Brute strength can only take you so far- with one exception. Unless you're Zaraki Kenpachi, you're going to need me in order to gain strength. So you can gain abilities you didn't think you had in you."

Ikkaku didn't look convinced. "Yeah? Like what?"

"I don't know. Like anything." The demon took another puff before he stepped out into the air. He walked toward Ikkaku as if on an invisible platform. Ikkaku gaped openly at him. "I've got lots of surprises in me, I'm sure." His grin was well used and slightly floppy. But his eyes held wisdom not seen in centuries and fire that stoked Ikkaku's own drive. "So, what do you say?"

Slowly Ikkaku's own grin grew. "I say you got a deal."

* * *

"Hozukimaru?" The overseer flipped through the large volume that sat before him. "Hmm…."

Ikkaku, in the mean time, wasn't paying him the slightest attention. Instead, he was testing out his new Zanpakuto, getting used to the balance and length, gauging how the shaft flexed and bent as he'd thrust.

"There's no record of the name previously being used." The overseer said. "But it had been recorded as being mentioned in the past. Asides from being one of the rare ones to take on an appearance completely different from a sword, it's also been noted as a very powerful fighter. Apparently," the overseer traced the graying words patiently, "Hozukimaru is a very flexible and very clever tactician. And the fact that you had received your Zanpakuto so quickly must mean he has great faith in your potential." The older Shinigami looked up. "You're not listening again, are you?"

"Pfft! Forget that!" Ikkaku returned energetically, weaving the spear about. "I need to find someone to fight! I GOTTA try this out!"

The overseer put a hand to his face. "Fine, just… be sure to send in the next person when you leave."

"Hell yeah!" Ikkaku raced out into the quad, mentally running through a list of names of the guys that pissed him off recently.

* * *

"What is it?" Mayuri snapped, swirling some strange concentrate he was bent over. 

"I received my Zanpakuto." Nemu told him.

"Oh?" He turned and glared. "What is it?"

"Horaizannoakaiokan." She could barely keep the excited quiver from her voice as her sword flashed and transformed. Replacing the katana was a shamsir, the blade so radically curved it was like a bow. The guard flowed outward like wings, the hilt wrapped in black leather and blade shimmering so brightly it looked white.

Mayuri scowled at the thing in disgust. "That? What is something like THAT supposed to do?"

"The overseer said that it was wind based and also a protector against illness. Horaizannoakaiokan," she stroked the handle familiarly, "is very kind and- ah!"

Mayuri scowled and shoved Nemu back. "Shut up! I don't care about your stupid sword, you don't need it!" Drawing his own Zanpakuto, Nemu could feel him drawing up his spiritual power and focusing it into one slash. Nemu couldn't get a sound passed her locked throat.

When her sword shattered, something inside Nemu's heart twisted and screamed as it was torn away and kept screaming and screaming and screaming and Nemu dimly realized it was herself.

"SHUT UP!" He grabbed her by the hair, shaking and jostling her and waving his drawn sword in front of her. He screamed at her and slapped her and she couldn't even recognize what was going on. When Mayuri threw her to the floor, the whole world faded away.

* * *

Zanpakuto: Tomogachi of the Dead

Because of alltrees's Buddhist flavored afterlife discussion on the Soul Society community, I sort of thought up that the Zanpakuto all live in their own little world of sorts. Another dimension, if you will. They can interact with each other (as noted during the Zaraki fight, Zangetsu could hear Zaraki's sword screaming) and know of each other (Zabimaru commenting on wanting to fight Zangetsu again). My theory is that they look in on the Shinigami and essentially choose who is going to weild them, or will allow others to weild them (as the case of Ichigo and Tousen). I also believe that there's a list of Zanpakuto that's been used before or has been listed by other Zanpakuto (Izuru notes that Hyourinmaru is the strongest ice based Zanpakuto, while it's known that Yamamoto has the strongest fire based while Ukitake and Kyouraku have the only duel swords).

It's still unclear on if the inner worlds are a reflection of the weilder, the sword or a strange mesh of both, I decided to go the ambigious route. Also, as Nemu hasn't been shown with a Zanpakuto and that it's name was never said, I've decided to give her one and went the same route dosetsu did during the Kurosaki Clinic's Second Annual Fanworks . And, though I'm no where near as clever with names and wordplay as Kubo-sensei or countless others on this and Soul Society communities, there's still a meaning to Nemu's Zanpakuto.

Horaizannoakaiokan translates literally as Red Crown of Horaizan. Red crown crane and Horaizan is an important mountain in both Japanese and Chinese mythology. It's a sacred mountain where one can find immortality and there dwells a great and wise crane- a symbol of longevity and health.  



	8. Seating Arrangements

In which there is love for the 11th division. And Urahara.

* * *

**Come What May  
Seating Arrangements**

"So you're the oft talked about Kurotsuchi Nemu. Kurotsuchi-san thinks highly of you."

Mayuri scoffed but it still made her smile softly to herself.

"Thank you, Urahara-taichou."

The captain laughed. "Oh, no! Thank you, Nemu-san!" He snapped his fan open. "It's always a pleasure to be in the company of a lovely lady. Especially one that makes wonderful tea!" Urahara leaned in with a grin. "All my other lady friends can't brew water to save their lives."

Her smiled widened just slightly, amused at her new captain.

"You know," Urahara sipped at his tea, "you should try to gain a seat. You had good scores in the academy, I think you'd make a good officer. And besides, the higher in rank you are, the more you get to do."

Nemu set her own cup back down on the table. "Excuse me, Urahara-taichou, but what exactly is done in the 12th division? I'm not entirely certain."

He smiled brightly. "Oh, we make stuff." Nemu's eyes grew warm at a memory. "We develop and produce all sorts of supplements, find out what makes Hollow's tick, develop items for field use. For an example," Urahara leaned forward, getting into the subject, "the communicators given to each Shinigami that goes out were developed by us. Gigais for those that go to the mortal realm undercover was also developed and each one created by a member from this division. We do all sorts of things, here, many of which are kept secret. In fact," Urahara turned to grin at Mayuri and, at least from Nemu's angle, there was a cold edge to it, "some are secret even to me!"

Mayuri snorted again, but remained quiet in his captain's presence.

"So, Nemu-san," Urahara turned back to her and smile benignly, "do you think you're willing to try?"

Nemu sat before him contemplating and couldn't help but like him. Energetic and warm and completely at ease with himself. A part of Nemu- that reminded her much like some of her former classmates –imagined that this was the type of person you could trust to take care of you. She thought that, while she wouldn't throw her life away for him without Mayuri-sama's permission, she would be willing to do whatever it was Urahara-taichou asked of her.

She smiled at him, the first time since she last talked to Madarame, without inhibitions. "Yes. I will do my best."

* * *

He was tempted to ask if this was a joke. Good Lord he wanted to know if this was a joke because if it was it was seriously fucked up. But, no. He came from one of the seedier districts of the Rukongai and knew you couldn't fake that level of fear. And those that weren't intimidated treated her with the highest respects. And watching her just waltz into the captain's office and jump up on the captain's shoulder of all places, Ikkaku pretty much had to resign himself to the fact he had a knee-high pink puffball for a vice-captain.

There was a handful of others that were recruited into the 11th division with him. Iba, thankfully, was one of them. At least, Ikkaku figured, eyeing aforementioned puffball, he'd have someone safe to bitch at.

"So," their new captain rumbled and Ikkaku shivered at the layer of spirit power that smothered the room disinterestedly, "you brats the new guys, huh?" He huffed, causing the bells on his hair to jingle. "Name's Zaraki, your captain. That's Yachiru, your vice-captain. Now get the hell outta my face."

For a moment the group just sat there quietly. Then cast sidelong looks at each other.

"Er-"

"What?" The word snapped the breath right out of Ikkaku.

"D-D-D," he swallowed and forced the words out, "Don't we need room and squad assignments?"

Zaraki's lips snarled. "Yachiru."

"I'll get it Ken-chan!" The little girl chirped, bounding out the door and calling out into the hall. "Hey! Weird pervert guy! The new guys need to have their," her voice faded down the corridor.

"Anything else?" Zaraki's spirit power gave a little flex, as if daring them to say something. "'Cause you guys are fuckin' boring."

"Uh," Ikkaku flinched when attention was focused on him again, "what about those of us that want officer spots? Are we able to gain seats?"

That seemed to gain Zaraki's interest. "You wanna fight?" His grin was like a score of broken knives. "I can arrange that."

* * *

Within a week, Nemu was called to Mayuri's office. Among the paperwork on his desk was the result of Nemu's testing.

"6th seat." His thin voice read flatly. "I will admit that I didn't believe you'd get so far so quickly."

Nemu smiled with pride. "Thank you, Mayuri-sama."

He glared in return. "Shut your mouth. This ability is due to my skill, not yours."

"Of course, Mayuri-sama."

"And another thing." He surged from his seat and backhanded Nemu across the cheek. She twisted, tripped over her feet and fell to the floor. "I know what you're thinking." He hissed at her hatefully. "You think that bastard Urahara gives a damn about you. He DOESN'T. No one does. He's only going to use your ability to make himself look good when all the credit for that goes to ME."

He stomped around the desk as Nemu sat up, backhanding her again and pounding a foot to her chest. "You never listen to that bastard, do you understand me? He may be your captain, but you answer only to ME." He ground his heel against her collarbone. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"Yes," she choked, "yes, Mayuri-sama."

He snarled and spat on her. "Worthless girl."

Mayuri didn't acknowledge her existence for the rest of the day. But Nemu still got up- as if nothing had happened and maybe she was just too used to it –and made him tea.

* * *

When he woke up the first thing he saw was Iemura's face. The shock on its own made Ikkaku's fist clip him in the jaw. If it weren't for the reflex, he would've hit the annoying bastard harder.

"Hey, stupid." Someone smacked him on the side of the head. "That's no way to treat a guy that just healed your goddamn wounds."

Ikkaku looked around. His body was bandaged up and Iba was next to him, smoking and nearly worse off than him. Iemura sat up with a groan and a glare.

"Where am I?" Ikkaku asked intelligently.

"Your dumbass is in the 4th division's main wing." Iba told him. "Iemura here's been takin' care of you."

"So, but, wait a second." Ikkaku rubbed his head, cursed at a knot and ignored Iemura's mutter of 'you're welcome'. "Then the testing's done? What seats did we get?"

"Pfff." Iba scratched at a bandage. "You got 10th, just for the fact that you wouldn't just give the hell up. Apparently Zaraki-taichou gives leeway for pigheaded morons that makes the vice-captain laugh."

"10th?" Ikkaku wailed. "You gotta be kiddin' me!"

"Yeah, well, I got 7th."

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HIGHER THAN ME?"

"Because." Iba blew out a thick stream of smoke that caused Iemura to cough. "These guys are even bigger dumbasses than you. None of them seemed to know how to protect themselves from simple blast spells." But he grinned. "But the guy that beat me- they call him Yumichika, damn fruitcake if I ever saw one. He's a slippery one. Got a lot of tricks up his sleeve, I can tell."

"This fucking blows!"

"You know," Iba scowled, "we just got out of the academy. We still got a long time to train and get stronger."

Ikkaku rubbed his face and muffled a frustrated scream into his palms. A heartbeat later he was sitting up and getting out of the bed. "Okay, let's go."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Iemura attempted to bare their way. "You can't just get up and leave like that!"

"Send us a bill." Ikkaku told him shoving the bespectacled man out of the way.

* * *

"Hey, hold up." 

"What?"

Instead of going through the gate to their new division, Ikkaku danced a little toward the corner. "12th division is nearby, right?"

"Uh, yeah. 12 tends to come right after 11."

"Shut the fuck up." He headed further down the road. "I'll be back in a bit, just go on ahead."

Iba cupped his hands and shouted, "You're wasting your time!" But Ikkaku either didn't hear or just ignored him. Iba shook his head. "Deluded idiot."

* * *

It wasn't hard sneaking into the 12th division's grounds. It was still, after all, fairly early but it was only when he was on the grounds that he realized he had no way to find Kurotsuchi. Weighing his options carefully, Ikkaku finally decided to bite the bullet and ask someone.

The first person he came across was sitting out on the walkway, a cup of tea cradled in one hand, a hang over cradled in the other. He was muttering something about 'never matching Shunsui drink for drink again'. Low crawling through the grass (useless endeavor, really, as the grass was always kept short), Ikkaku came up on the early riser (or late sleeper as the case may be).

"Hey," he called out softly, "uh, guy!"

The man looked up between fingers, eyes blurry. "Hm?"

Braced on the ground he probably should've felt more foolish than he did. Instead, Ikkaku went on single-mindedly. "Do you know Kurotsuchi?"

There was a brief pause. "I know of a couple Kurotsuchis."

Well, duh. Ikkaku rolled his eyes at himself. "Well, yeah. I mean the younger one. Girl, black hair, sad eyes, quiet."

"Ah." The man said with a smile edged with pain. "Nemu-san."

Gee, he felt stupid. He never even bothered to ask for her given name. "Er, yeah."

"Alright, hold on. Nemu-san!" He called out, wincing at his own volume. "There's someone here to talk to you!" A moment later the door behind the man slid open and Kurotsuchi stepped out, curious expression on her face. Ikkaku, still on the ground, only then began to feel foolish.

He jumped to his feet abruptly, "Kurotsuchi, hey."

She blinked at him. "Madarame? May I ask why you're here?"

Ikkaku cleared his throat and hid his bandaged arms behind his back. "Just, you know, in the area. Thought I stopped by."

"That's very kind of you." Kurotsuchi said, kneeling next to the groaning man. "Are you well? You've been in another fight, haven't you?"

Sheepishly he grinned. "Just gettin' a seat in the division is all."

"How did you do?"

This time he scowled. "Got 10th."

"Congratulations." Kurotsuchi smiled at him.

"That's pretty good for someone fresh out of the academy." The strange man beamed. "I'll bet you'll be climbing the ranks in no time."

"Iba got higher than me." Ikkaku told them glumly. "He got 7th."

"Oh, that's good, too! Nemu-san here just picked up the 6th seat."

Ikkaku's jaw dropped and he stood there spluttering for a bit. "Th-That's amazing!" He hooted, happiest she'd seen him since the final exams. "Kurotsuchi, you're amazing!"

She blushed prettily at that and the man smiled warmly at them both. "Thank you." She murmured, pleased with herself. "Are you going to stay long, Madarame?"

"Ikkaku."

Her head tilted to the side. "I'm sorry?"

"Call me Ikkaku." He repeated, grinning. "All my friends do."

"All right, then. Ikkaku." She said slowly, seeing how the name tasted on her tongue.

"Then can I call you Nemu?" He added quickly when her eyes became panicked. "I mean- not all the time! Just, you know, when it's us, when no one important's around."

She looked at the man beside her and he gave her a wide smile. "Let him, Nemu-san. That way, it'll be easier to tell you apart from Kurotsuchi-san."

Looking back at Ikkaku tentatively, Nemu nodded her head. "Then it's fine."

An almost disbelieving smile worked its way across his lips. "Great. Ah-" his mind suddenly jolted at him. "I gotta go." He gave a sort of half-bow to them. "I'll see you later, okay Nemu?"

And she smiled back, waving. "Take care of yourself." The man next to her waggled his fingers goodbye. Three heartbeats after Ikkaku had vanished, Nemu's companion gave a little chuckle.

"Nice kid." He said. "Full of potential, so long as he keeps his focus. Not all that bright, though, is he?"

Nemu gave him a sideways look. "I hope he didn't insult you, Urahara-taichou."

"No, no, not at all." He assured her. "I don't like it when people get all stuffy with me. We'll just see how long it takes him to realize it, shall we?" Urahara noticed her pensive look. "Something wrong, Nemu-san?"

But Nemu looked down at her hands as if they were what had betrayed her. She replayed the exchange in her mind, Ikkaku's tense and edgy disposition, the too-wide grin and nervous bounce in his feet.

Something had changed between them, Nemu realized. She didn't know where they stood now, but wherever it was, it was leaving their friendship crumbling behind them.


	9. Distances Between

Featuring everyone's favorite lucky-lucky dance!

* * *

** Come What May  
Distances Between**

"You've gotten better, Madarame-san."

His reply was a frustrated grunt.

"Oh, I'm being serious here. You've gotten much faster and stronger since the first time."

Ikkaku let out something akin to a gurgled yell, fist tightening on his sword.

"Aren't you going to try to gain a higher seat? I'm sure you could go up some more. I'd say at least three seats."

He took a deep breath, focused his intent and PUSHED. Kisuke, perched calmly on his back, was almost too much for Ikkaku's jellied limbs to handle.

"You," he gasped, "fluff-brained, pansy ass, ANNOYING sunnov-"

Kiskue idly kicked Ikkaku's right arm from under him, crushing his breath out from the impact.

Tapping his ever-present fan against his chin, Kisuke asked him, "Ne, Madarame-san? Why are you always training with me and no one from the 11th? I can't imagine you'd be hard pressed to find sparing buddies."

It took a minute for Ikkaku to get his breath back, then another minute to get over the coughing fit of inhaling dirt. "Because," he choked out, trying to wriggle his way to freedom, "you're strong. I want to fight only the strong ones, not some mediocre guys."

"Me? Strong?" Kisuke laughed brightly. "What makes you say that?"

"Because you beat Hozukimaru with just your fan?" He grumbled out.

Humming to himself, Kisuke abruptly got to his feet. Ikkaku promptly rolled onto his back and sucked air noisily into his empty lungs. "Well, Madarame-san. If you feel that makes you weaker, I can give you a couple pointers."

That brought Ikkaku straight to his feet. "Really? Kisuke-san, you'd really give away your secrets?"

"It's not so much that they're secrets," Kisuke told him, "as they are basics I've notice you're lacking in. Your attacks have gotten more diverse, that's good. You're still a straightforward fighter, but you've gotten more flexible in your style. That's also good. It means that not only are you learning how to conform to another's style of fight, it also means you're listening more to your Zanpakuto." He walked toward the buildings, indicating the 11th division member to follow.

"You see, this is my Zanpakuto." He continued, reaching around a screen door to pull out a sword. "Her name is Benihime. She can be a bit temperamental and she doesn't like being wielded without a good reason. That's why I use the fan. But," Kisuke added quickly, "just because I'm not using Benihime doesn't mean she doesn't help me. True, I can't unlock her true form or use any of her special abilities when she's not in hand. But she talks to me, even when she's tucked away. She can see where you're going and she can see the strike that you're making. If she feels that I'm in danger of leaving myself open, she'll let me know and I can tighten my guard.

"You've only just gotten your Zanpakuto, so it's a given that you're not as adept to using it like that. I suggest communing with it more. Learn its ways and become as at home in the inner world as your Zanpakuto. The more the two of you bond, the more you can hear what it has and wants to say. And the more the two of you can combine your abilities and become much, much stronger."

Ikkaku looked a little dubious, though. "You sure? I mean, no offense, Kisuke-san. You're strong and all, but I'm not entirely certain how I can get that strong by just hangin' out with Hozukimaru."

The older man tsked. "That's no way to think of it. After all, the more synchronized you are with your Zanpakuto, the stronger you can be. If you're not, the only strength you can fall on is your own." Kisuke leaned in, expression serious. "If you are, at any time, unable to synch properly with your Zanpakuto- either you refuse to commune with it or you're in a conflict with it –it will hinder your ability to fight. If your Zanpakuto will not fight fully with you against an opponent who is perfectly harmonized with theirs- even if your spiritual strength is stronger –you will loose. Once your Zanpakuto has lost the will to fight, your sword will break and you'll be left with nothing to protect you."

Ikkaku swallowed involuntarily, the look and tone Kisuke was giving him sent shivers down his spine. Until Kisuke abruptly pulled back and laughed.

"But that's nothing to worry about! Like any argument among good friends, you can always come to terms with your Zanpakuto again! If it breaks, it will need time to heal and it will need your want to bring it back whole and complete again. They're almost like cats that way! Treat them mean and they'll go off on their own. Treat them with enough kindness and begging and they may consider coming back- if not just to get their egos stroked!" Kisuke laughed again, patting Benihime idly. Ikkaku blinked, some how feeling indignation rolling off the sword.

Then, pausing thoughtfully, Kisuke said, "You know, the problem may be that you don't have enough luck."

Ikkaku blinked. "Enough what?"

"Luck."

"The first character in my name is 'ichi'!" He protested. "I have plenty of luck!"

"Oh, I'm certain that you do! But if you can do something else to make yourself lucky, then that's DOUBLE the luck!"

It wasn't the first time Ikkaku believed Kisuke wasn't all there.

"One of these days," he said, "I'm going to have to teach you my lucky-lucky dance! I do it every time before a difficult fight and it's helped me to get to where I am today!" He beamed proudly. Then, suddenly, he began pushing at Ikkaku's shoulder, shoving him toward the room- someone's office. "But! More importantly, Nemu-san should be coming around from her duties shortly! That'll give you enough time to wash up and be presentable!"

It felt like Ikkaku's heart skipped a beat. "Er, ya know, it's a, uh, it's getting' kinda late and I'm on the roster to deck-towel the division building, so I should- I should probably be going…"

Kisuke gave a compassionate sigh. "It's too bad the only time you get to call on Nemu-san any more is when she's busy. She'd love to see you again, I'm sure."

Ikkaku gave a little laugh and ducked his and was TOTALLY NOT BLUSHING, DAMMIT! "Well, you know how it is…" He swallowed hard. "I'd like to see her again but, you know, duty calls and all that."

Suddenly, Kisuke clapped his hands together. "Oh, I have a great idea! Nemu-san can walk you out of the division! Nemu-san!"

Soft footfalls pattered behind him and Ikkaku's body went cold. There's was nothing more he wanted than to see Nemu and talk with her and make her smile and laugh some more but…

"Yes?" Came that soft voice from over his shoulder.

"Madarame-san has to, unfortunately, leave us so soon. If you would escort him out?"

"Of course."

"Oh, and Nemu-san? I took one of the origami cats you were working on earlier to a friend of mine. You should consider opening a gift shop with the things you make! It'd be the most popular place in the Seireitai!"

Nemu smiled softly at Kisuke. "Thank you very much." She told him, a pretty little blush on her cheeks- still so unused to praise. Ikkaku felt a dull, inexplicable anger at this. A part of him hated that someone else could make her happy, despite how glad he was that she was slowly opening up.

"Ah! There he is! Urahara-taichou!"

From around a corner came a messenger, coming to a stop and kneeling before Kisuke. "Urahara-taichou, Yamamoto-soutaichou is requesting your presence in regards to the supply request forms your division has recently put in."

"Hmm?" Kisuke cupped his chin in one hand. "Ah, well. Guess I'll have to go, then. Nemu-san? If you'd get my coat, please."

"Yes, Captain."

She stepped around Ikkaku who seemed stuck on the ability to stare at Kisuke and gape. Standing up, Kisuke allowed Nemu to drape the jacket across his shoulders and stuck Benihime in his belt. With a smile, he clapped Ikkaku heavily on the shoulder. "Madarame-san." He said. "I'm afraid I'll have to show you the lucky-lucky dance some other time. Commune with your Zanpakuto every night and next week I'll guarantee you'll be even better than today. Ne?"

And, completely ignoring that shell shocked expression, Kisuke gave Ikkaku a final pat on the shoulder, a warm nod to Nemu, turned and sauntered away, looking far too happy with the state of living today.

"Ikkaku?" Nemu asked. "Ikkaku." She said again, brushing the inside of his wrist with her fingers. The contact made him jump. "Come, I'll see you out."

Ikkaku's jaw worked soundlessly for a minute, following her merely on instinct. "You…" he somewhat sputtered, "You didn't tell me he was your captain!" He finally managed.

"No."

"Well……WHY?"

Nemu looked at him over her shoulder with- this realization almost made him stop in his tracks again –an almost mischievous little smile. "I was told not to. Urahara-taichou wanted to see how long it would take you to figure it out on your own."

"I've been fighting that guy and calling him names for TWO MONTHS now!" Ikkaku protest, waving his arms about. "You could've told me after TWO MONTHS!"

"Urahara-taichou thought it was amusing."

"Che!" Ikkaku grumbled to himself, kicking at the ground as they walked. Hesitantly, though, he asked quietly, "Was it?"

"Was it what?"

"Amusing."

Surprised at the question, Nemu stopped and Ikkaku took a half-step back to look at her.

"I… I suppose, yes."

"You, uh, really like your captain, huh?"

She smiled wistfully. "Urahara-taichou is very kind and warm and he goes out of his way to make me smile." Like you do, she didn't say. "I am happy having him as my captain." Nemu cocked her head at him slightly before she dug into a pouch she had tied around her belt. "Ikkaku," she said, drawing out a small container and unscrewing the top, "you're bleeding again."

"Eh?" He blinked, watching her dip two fingertips into the container before reaching up and pressing the cool cream just above and to side of his eye. Standing perfectly still he asked, "What is that?"

"It's a clotting agent." Nemu explained, rubbing excess cream off with her thumb. "Developed in conjunction with the 4th division. It's designed to help stop the bleeding of shallow wounds to some life-endangering ones. I brought some back. I thought you might use it."

Ikkaku couldn't help a little snort of laughter. "Sorry, Nemu. Yer always patchin' me up."

"It's fine. I don't mind it." It was just a minor cut, barely even bleeding, but Nemu ran her fingers over the spot again. Having rediscovered her enjoyment of creating, Nemu had come to realize just how much more sense everything made through touch. Things worked in her mind and connected in so many ways when she touched them and handled them. And somehow, following the path down strong cheekbones and a sharp jaw, she thought if she touched him enough she'd be able to finally understand this strange man in front of her.

"Nemu…" her name rumbled out, but her hand moved back along the jaw to curve up by the ear. She had the sudden urge to run her hand down the cords of Ikkaku's neck and dip her fingers along the deep wings of his collarbone. "Nemu." He said again, grabbing at the wandering hand before she gave into her thoughts. She blinked, then blushed, realizing what she was doing.

"I'm sorry." She said, stepping back and pulling her hand away. "I didn't mean to-" she stopped when he didn't let her go. Nemu looked up at him, surprised at how dark his eyes suddenly where.

"Are you happy here?" He asked, so low she felt it more than heard, hand tight around hers.

"I am." She said, just as quietly. Her fingers closed lightly over his thumb and thought that this was the way things should be.

Ikkaku breath caught painfully and he abruptly let her go. "I'm- I'm glad for ya." Feeling incredibly foolish with himself, he fumbled the container from her hand and danced ahead with a wide grin, "Hey, don't worry 'bout me, okay? I know my way around. You just get some rest, okay? Thanks for the thing!" Flashing a big smile, Ikkaku tossed a wave over his shoulder as he jogged off.

Nemu watched him leave, a part of her sinking sadly. But then something yanked on her braid. Hard. Years of abuse schooled her to keep from crying out, but she didn't flinch when a cold, jagged hand covered her mouth and pressed into her cheeks.

"Nemu." Hissed the voice of her father. "I need to talk to you."


	10. Wasted Time

Not one of my favorites, but... what're ya gonna do, right?

Got two pieces of fanart done by a one is from Daily Reprieve and the other is from their academy days Give 'er some love!

* * *

**Come What May  
Wasted Time**

"Hey! Hey, Pachinko Head!"

Ikkaku snarled and kept walking. "I'm not responding to that." He muttered to himself.

"Pachinko Head!"

"Not listening…"

"Oi, baldy. I know you hear her."

The captain. Fuck. Putting on his best not COMPLETELY annoyed look, Ikkaku turned with a strained grin. "Ah, Zaraki-taichou, Kusajishi-fukutaichou. What a surprise."

Zaraki snorted while Yachiru bounded up and- to add insult to injury –jumped onto Ikkaku's shoulders. "Lookie, Ken-chan!" She polished his head with her sleeve. "It's just like a marble! See? Just like I said!"

Ikkaku's eye twitched. "…Is that all you wanted me for, captain?"

Zaraki snorted again. "Yachiru." He warned.

"Yes!" She patted at Ikkaku's head to get his attention. "Ne, ne! We're getting bored with the 9th seat. We want you to challenge him again."

"What?" He blinked, looking into the upside-down face of his vice-captain. "Why me?"

"Because you might be more fun with your marbley head!" Yachiru chortled, slapping at him happily again.

Ikkaku's teeth gritted painfully. "Thank you for your sign of faith, vice-captain…"

"You've been 10th for over a year, now, baldy." He looked up, surprised to be addressed by Zaraki again. "All your peers are getting better but you've just been sittin' on your ass. Either do somethin' with yourself or give the spot up."

Cowed by this, Ikkaku bowed his head. "I understand, Zaraki-taichou."

With a grunt, he tossed his head. "Oi, Yachiru. Let's go."

"'Kay, Ken-chan!" Yachiru sang, jumping off Ikkaku's head and onto Zaraki's back. She tugged at Zaraki's jacket. "Oh, Ken-chan, look! Visitors!"

Yumichika, guiding the previously mentioned visitors to his captain, bowed at them both. "Zaraki-taichou, Kusajishi-fukutaichou. Urahara-taichou wishes to meet with you."

"Ya, Zaraki-san! Good morning!"

Zaraki looked over his shoulder and frowned. "Urahara. What do you want?"

Snapping his fan open, Urahara smiled benignly at the group. "We've developed a new strength supplement that's formulated to heighten spiritual pressure. We were wondering if your division would like to test it out for us."

"And?" He jutted his chin to the figure at the end of the group. "Who's that?"

Ikkaku blinked. "Nemu?"

Zaraki's lip curled at the 10th seat. "Huh?"

He jumped, waving his arms around. "Ah- I mean! Kurotsuchi! Er, ju-just a former classmate, that's all!"

"Ah, Madarame-san's so cruel!" Urahara sang brightly. "All those time you snuck into our division just to see Nemu-san and you say she's just a classmate!"

"Sh-Sh-Shut up, you… weirdo freak pervert!"

"Ah! Pachinko Head's turning red all over!"

"I AM NOT!"

"She's far too beautiful for him, anyway." Yumichika threw in, imperiously tossing his head away from Nemu.

Nemu's own cheeks colored at that as Ikkaku flipped his teammate off. "You stay outta this, goddamn flamer!"

"Would you just shut up already?" Zaraki snapped at the lot. "Yer all friggin' annoying. What the hell is she doing here is what I wanna know."

"Kurotsuchi Nemu-san here," Urahara indicated with a snap of his fan, "is my 3rd seat and the one that developed the supplement. If you have any questions on its limitation, side effects or if it can come in grape flavors, she's the one to ask."

"Ho?" Zaraki crossed his arms under his haori, settling them against his belt. "Does it work?"

Nemu nodded. "Yes, Zaraki-taichou."

"Can anyone use it?"

"Yes, Zaraki-taichou."

"It'll work for those with high spirit levels?"

"We haven't found a limit for it yet, Zaraki-taichou."

"It ain't gonna make Yachiru puke if she eats too much, will it?"

Nemu faltered. "Ah… I-I'm not certain, Zaraki-taichou. I… don't believe so…"

Her captain, coming to her rescue, said, "It probably wouldn't be best if Yachiru-chan ate too many of them at once. Wouldn't want to chance another event like last time, would we?"

Yachiru opened her mouth but paused at Zaraki's glaring eye. "No, Yachiru." He told her firmly. "We wouldn't."

She pouted. "Okay, Ken-chan."

"Ne, Zaraki-san. Shall we decide how to test this supplement out?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He grumbled, following Urahara toward the division's main building.

"Ah, Nemu-san!" Urahara called back. "You can head back to our division. Need to make sure your father isn't blowing anything else up!"

"Yes, Urahara-taichou." She replied with a bow. Yumichika and Ikkaku echoed her movement shallowly.

Yumichika flipped his hair back importantly. "Well, Kurotsuchi-san. We can walk you back to the gate."

"Thank you."

"You coming, Ikkaku?"

He blinked. "Huh? Oh, uh, sure. I guess."

Minutes passed in silence as Yumichika led the way and Ikkaku scuffled toward the back. The higher seat kept sending dirty, annoyed looks Ikkaku's way, but he didn't seem to notice, fidgeting as he walked. Finally, deciding he had to take action for the two of them, Yumichika said loudly, "So you're a third seat now? When did that happen?"

Nemu dipped her head slightly. "A few months ago. Urahara-taichou promoted me based on the work that I've been doing for the 12th division."

Yumichika spared another glance at Ikkaku, but the latter didn't seem inclined to respond. "Oh?" He said, annoyed at his silent companion. "I've heard of some of the things you've been doing. You must be very talented."

"It's my father's talent. It's because of him that I can do so well."

Ikkaku snorted and Yumichika nearly had to physically restrain himself from bursting out 'FINALLY!' "Oh? Ikkaku doesn't seem to agree with that."

But he just mumbled out, 's nothin' and continued to lag behind. God, these two were a sight, Yumichika thought, nearly face palming himself. One's so obvious it hurts, the other's so dense it's just as painful.

Trying a different tact he said, "Your captain seems very kind."

"He is." Even from the back, Ikkaku could pick out the smile in her voice. "He's very warm and open. And," Nemu almost moved to look backward, "he makes me laugh."

Yumichika discreetly smiled at this. "Having someone that makes you laugh is very important." Then tossed back, "Don't you agree, Ikkaku?"

"I guess." Came a barely audible reply. Up front, where only Yumichika could see, the happy light in Nemu's eyes dimmed slightly and Yumichika wanted to bash his head against something.

Abruptly, Nemu stopped and bowed to them and it took Yumichika a moment to realize they were at the 11th division's gate. "Thank you for escorting me." She told them curtly.

"Oh, it's no problem." Yumichika smiled, hoping that bitter note was obviously only in his head. "Ne, Ikkaku. Say bye to our guest."

"Do what? Arghmotherfu-mmph!" Biting down on a knuckle, Ikkaku let out a pained sort of wave and smile as Yumichika ground his heel on Ikkaku's big toe. "Nemu…" his voice strained thinly, "I'll see you around…"

Not certain what to make of all this, Nemu dipped her head again. "Good bye." She said before turning to leave.

After she had disappeared from sight, Ikkaku turned to rage at Yumichika, "Hey, what the- owowow!"

Yumichika, pinching Ikkaku's nose and drawing him in painfully, GLARED at him. "Don't even start." He growled. Letting go, he stormed away in a huff.

Rubbing at his aching nose, Ikkaku wondered aloud, "What the hell was that about?"


	11. Burnt Bridges

I'm glad so many people are enjoying this, even if not too many review

But for those of you are (converted) fans of this couple, I'm afraid I'm going to have to pimp out livejournal(dot)com/ikkanemu. Spreadin' the love!

* * *

**  
Come What May  
Burnt Bridges**

She wasn't disobeying orders, she reasoned. Urahara was her captain and if her captain requested her presence or her actions she couldn't deny him that. And Urahara found Ikkaku amusing so if she was in her captain's presence of course she was going to treat Ikkaku politely when he came by for visits.

She wasn't doing it to spite Mayuri-sama's orders. It was just what happened. If it were anything else, Nemu told herself, she would be able to do it without hesitation. But it was her captain and his guest and no matter what Mayuri-sama told her, she couldn't ignore their request to talk with her.

But she had gotten much better at hiding bruises and cuts, she realized, probing the slash where the inside of her cheek had cut on her teeth. Tender, but wouldn't hinder any abilities or her appearance. Satisfied with that analysis, she balanced the tray of tea in one hand and knocked on the door.

"Urahara-taichou." She said, bowing her head as she slid the door back. "Your morning tea is-"

She abruptly stopped and looked around the room that had been stripped bare. "Urahara-taichou?"

"You're LEAVING?"

"Geez, would ya stop with that already?" Iba grunted, pushing Ikkaku away from his ear. "Yer gettin' annoying."

Ikkaku just gapped and Yumichika sidled away carefully, waiting until he exploded again.

"But- But! I can't believe you're LEAVING!"

"Hey," Iba snapped, "I've been 3rd seat for almost ten years now! I'm well within my rights to apply for a vice-captain's seat so stop being so damn dramatic about it!"

"Che! You're applying for a vice-captain's seat 'cause you can't beat Kusajishi-fukutaichou!"

Iba growled right back. "And what's wrong with that? Better'n you, wasting your time by just dickin' around in the 8th seat!"

Ikkaku snorted. "I'm biddin' my time." He said importantly. "I'm gonna head all the way to the top, I ain't got time to be dealin' with middlemen!"

"Ya look like a retard, that's what it is."

Ikkaku flared. "Hey, shut the fuck up! You still haven't beaten me yet so don't think I'm givin' ya any sort of respect!"

"Ah?" Iba sneered. "You think a lowly seated guy like you could beat ME? A newly appointed vice-captain?"

"Don't give me that high 'n mighty shit! You wanna piss me off? I'll kick your fuckin' ass!"

Yumichika finally gave into the urge and thwacked Ikkaku between the shoulder blades. "Would you stop? All your yelling is giving me stress."

Grabbing at his aching back, Ikkaku turned and glowered at him. "Why the fuck do I care? Leave me alone, ya damn fruit."

"Stress leads to early wrinkles," Yumichika told him. "And that leads to premature ugliness. I thought you'd know all about that by now."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"Ikkaku, would ya just shut the fuck up?" Iba pushed his shades higher on his nose. "Ya bark and bark and nothin' different's comin' out."

"So then, Iba-fukutaichou," Yumichika drew out cheerfully, if not just to watch Ikkaku burst a vein, "what division are you going to?"

"7th." He said, idly scratching at his stomach. "Their vice-captain's retirin' and I talked to the captain yesterday. He talked to Zaraki-taichou yesterday, too. Dunno what he was told, but apparently it was good enough to get me selected."

"When are you going to leave, then?"

Iba shrugged. "Packin' up my shit tonight. Gettin' some of the unseated guys to move me out tomorrow."

"That's pretty sudden." Yumichika said thoughtfully. "Not even a 'Good Luck, New Vice-Captain' party?"

Ikkaku snorted. "Vice-captain. I don't believe it."

"Oi." Iba poked at Ikkaku's head. "You better start treatin' me with some respect."

"Pfft! My ass! The most you'll get is MAYBE an 'Iba-san'."

"I don't think so."

"It's either that or sonnuvabitch, stupid fuck or retard." He grinned sharply. "Or whatever the hell I feel like callin' ya at the time."

"It's either vice-captain or you can stop talkin' to me period, Pachinko Head."

A hand fisted the front of Iba's haori. "You wanna die, mother fucker?"

Yumichika growled to himself. "Why am I always breaking you two up? You're so childish you guys aren't even at preschool level."

Iba smacked the hand away roughly. "If you ever decide to get off your ass and make it up to my level," he told Ikkaku flatly, "I may consider you my equal."

"Consider me YOUR equal?" Ikkaku bristled. "You haven't beaten me yet!"

"That was the academy. What the fuck do they know?"

"Know enough that I totally-"

"Would you stop already?" Yumichika jumped in. "This is getting old!"

"You don't like it, you can go away!"

"You always gotta be such a dick?"

"I'm not the one bein' all-"

"Your yelling is driving me-"

"If you don't like it, do somethin'-

"I ain't listenin' to you-"

"Excuse me, sirs!"

"WHAT?" The three of them snapped. One of the unseated 11th division members shrank, almost physically, under the exertion of their combined spirit force.

"Er, Z-Zaraki-taichou needs people to lead out squads to the, the outer limits of the Rukongai…" he stammered.

"What? What for?" They asked, tempers evening out now that their curiosity was perked.

"It seems that, uh," the messenger fidgeted, "every division is sending out search parties. The captain of the 12th division, Urahara Kisuke, and the commander of the Special Ops Forces, Shihouin Yoruichi, have both gone missing."

They only searched for three days, one day spent foraging through the limits of the Rukongai, the second spent searching beyond those limits and the third day backtracking to the Seireitai, making sure they missed nothing.

When they reported to Zaraki, he snorted and said nothing, giving them a day to rest up from the journey. Iba took that time to get settled into his new division. Ikkaku and Yumichika- both set on edge by this –took the time to meander through the other divisions and see what anyone else had to say.

In the 10th division, they came across Rangiku, who shared their skepticism about the ordeal. "They're not as worried about this as they should be."

"Hmmm…" Ikkaku folded his arms.

"There's something they're not telling us."

"Hmmm…" This one was followed by a scowl.

Yumichika wondered aloud, "I wonder what could be wrong?"

"Most likely," Rangiku supplied, "they were under suspicion for something."

"But would they have cut the search short for that?" Yumichika said. "After all, if they were a security risk or guilty of a crime, surely they should be under wraps?"

She shook her head and hit the subject that was niggling at the back of Ikkaku's thoughts. "This is going to put a lot of stress on those two divisions, now."

Ikkaku snapped at attention. "Nemu."

The other two looked at him oddly. "Huh?"

Almost in a panic, he asked, "Did they pick a new captain for the 12th, yet?"

"Well, yeah." Rangiku said slowly. "Their vice-captain? Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou? As far as I know, they don't have a replacement for vice-captain yet, though."

"FUCK!" Spinning on a heel, Ikkaku bolted away, ignoring the startled cries behind him.

He blurred out of the 10th division gates, barely even noticed running passed the 11th and, pounding towards the looming walls of the 12th, two shinigami jumped at attention.

"Hey, hey!" One of them said, "This area is restricted! No unautho-"

"Get outta my way!" He bellowed, ducking around the first and shoving the second aside with an elbow. His foot skidded on the ground, leaping around a turn. Long legs ate up the distance and the only thing on his mind was Nemu.

"Where is she?" He muttered, dashing through familiar scenes, reaching out to sense her. "Where is she, where is she dammit!"

When he finally was able to get a hold of the spirit signature that was purely hers, Ikkaku nearly missed the turn. Because it was so subdued and subtle (and because Ikkaku was never good in any subjects that weren't physical), he almost passed by the room that the signature was coming from.

The captain's office.

Grasping at the door, he shoved it back with enough force to knock it off the tracks. "Nemu!"

Startled at the sudden intrusion, Nemu twisted out of her position. She was sitting on her knees in the middle of the floor- as if waiting for her captain to come in, call her out, to acknowledge her again.

"Nemu." Ikkaku panted, feeling a little calmer now that he had found her. Now, though, he wasn't even certain what he was supposed to say. Opening his mouth, Ikkaku blurted out, "I-I'm sorry."

Eyes wide, Nemu slowly shifted back into her original position. Back to Ikkaku, she lightly brushed her braid from where it jumped over her shoulder. He watched it swing to a slow standstill against the straight planes of her back.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, this time more sure of himself. "We tried to find him- we spent three days looking. I-"

"It's fine." Nemu said softly.

The finality of her voice made his shoulders tense up. He stalked over to her, knelt in front of her and slammed his hands against her forearms.

"Don't you DARE say that!" He snapped. "It's not fine and you know that! Get upset! Get angry! He left his division in shambles and left you to clean up after him! He left you alone to defend yourself against that psycho dad of yours! He left you to take care of everything so don't you DARE say that it's fine! You're well in your right to be mad so be mad!"

Shocked at the strength of his fingers digging into her arms- forceful like Mayuri-sama's, almost frightening in its intensity and yet not nearly the same thing –Nemu wanted to ask why he was so angry. But when she opened her mouth, Nemu heard herself say, "He left."

And suddenly… everything sank in.

"He left." She repeated. He left and he wasn't coming back. He took all his notes and had nothing of value waiting for him. He and his best friend disappeared without a word and all her sitting and waiting in his office wasn't going to bring him back. "He left." A hand gripped tentatively at Ikkaku's sleeve. "He left." Nemu's voice felt thick and her grip became stronger.

"He left." She said, looking up at Ikkaku with an expression that begged him not to let it be true. "He left. He left me behind." And, for the first time she could recall, tears began to spill down her cheeks. Her other hand went up, pulling at the material against Ikkaku's chest and burying her face against his collar, sobbing. "He left me alone."

He left me with him. She didn't say, but she didn't have to. Ikkaku wrapped his arms tight against her and pressed his cheek against her hair. He vowed that the next time he saw Urahara- and there would be, he'd make certain of that –he'd punch that stupid, traitorous bastard in the face.

As he knelt there, holding Nemu securely against him, Mayuri watched the scene in the dark. Unamused.


	12. Ties that Break

Now, enter the Mayuri hate!

* * *

**Come What May  
Ties That Break**

It's been months since the sudden switch in captains and- Ikkaku had to admit –the change was dramatic. The 12th division members started getting more than a little neurotic, some with unexplained rashes and cuts, other began to outright jump at shadows and imaginary noises.

That didn't do his confidence any good when he received a summons from the new captain out of the blue like this.

A part of him thought he should've brought someone along as backup. Even though the only person he really hung around with now was Yumichika and he didn't need the fruit thinking he needed someone to hold his hand. Fuck that.

Tightening his grip around the summons (not to keep from shaking- he wasn't shaking!), Ikkaku gave a cursory knock on the door. The little shinigami that showed him the way hunched in on… himself? Herself? He couldn't tell, not with their hair coming out in clumps and sunken in cheeks and sickly green pallor. Ikkaku gritted his teeth. He'd have to make sure the 4th division knew about this.

"Kurotsuchi-taichou." He called out loudly. "It's Madarame Ikkaku, 8th seat, 11th division. You summoned me here."

"Don't stand out there like you're brain dead!" A thin voice snapped through the door. "Come in!"

A muscle in Ikkaku's cheek twitched. "Okay…" he muttered to himself. "This is gonna be interesting."

He slid back the door cautiously, afraid of any jars of acid or poison darts flying at him unannounced. The office, once bright and friendly and strewn with paperwork was suddenly dark and foreboding. And still strewn with paperwork, among other oddities, and something in there giving off an acidic scent. Behind the large desk was Kurotsuchi-taichou. Standing beside him was Nemu.

Kurotsuchi glared at him. "Sit!" He snapped.

The tone made Ikkaku's muscles tense. Adding that to the fact that there were no chairs before the desk and there was no way in hell he was kneeling to THAT GUY, he folded his arms across his chest. "I'll stand."

The captain snorted. "Incorrigible and belligerent. Of course." A tick was already starting to develop in Ikkaku's cheek, but he kept himself in check. "I've summoned you here for a very serious matter. One that I advise you to leave alone from this moment on."

It was a deliberate pause and Ikkaku played along. "And what is that, Captain?"

"The apparent courting of my daughter."

A chair sounded pretty good at the moment, actually. The shock of the accusation nearly sent Ikkaku to the floor. "Co-" he spluttered, "co-co-co-COURT?" Every inch of skin flushed more than he thought possible. "Wh-di-I…. What gave you THAT idea!" Ikkaku finally cried.

Kurotsuchi might have raised an eyebrow, it was hard to tell with that weird look of his. "Ho?" He drawled. Behind him, Nemu's head bowed slightly. "Then how would you describe the relationship you have with Nemu?"

"We're friends!" He snapped, still off kilter from the 'courting' comment.

"You're very familiar for 'friends', boy."

"Friends're supposed to be familiar."

"Hn. But you're forgetting something very important, here." Kurotsuchi said, the long nail on his right middle finger made a hollow tap on the desk. "She's from a very different world than you are. How can you be friends with something like that between you?"

Ikkaku's eyes narrowed. "What're you talkin' about?"

The half-moon grin spread. "Ho? She never told you?"

And uncomfortable shiver raced up Ikkaku's spine, his head started to feel thick. "Told me what?" His temper was wearing thin. But Kurotsuchi was laughing at him and he snapped louder, "TOLD ME WHAT?"

"Why, she not a real person, after all." The captain said, his face full of malicious teeth. At the shock writ painfully across Ikkaku's face, Nemu lowered her head further, as if trying to hide inside herself.

"I'm not so much her father," Kurotsuchi continued, enjoying the moment, "as I am her creator. I shaped her into life using soul fragments, using my own cells as a base. It's because of me that she exists and she exists solely for my command. The fact that you call her 'friend' and think of her as a being is amusing and far, far removed from the truth!" He said, laughing again. "How absurd! Nemu! Having a FRIEND! Who could ever care for her?"

Nemu's hand tightened against her thighs and there was suddenly something stuck in her throat and stinging her eyes.

"Shut up."

Nemu's head snapped up and Kurotsuchi sneered. "What was that?" He growled.

"I said," Ikkaku enunciated sharply, "shut. Up." He snarled at the captain, words grinding out through clenched teeth. "Do you think that changes anything? Do you think just 'cause Nemu didn't get here the same way I did that it matters? Yumi was born here, but that doesn't change the fact that he's a fruity pansy-ass know-it-all. I don't know how you made her, I don't even know what the hell any of us are made of and I don't fucking care. Nemu is Nemu, and nothing you say'll change how I feel about her."

Nemu's eyes were wide, unbelievably touched by this, her cheeks growing warm. So focused on the passion of Ikkaku's words, she let out an inadvertent cry when Kurotsuchi got to his feet and punched her across the face.

Ikkaku jumped forward, ramming a knee against the desk. "WHAT THE FUCK'RE YOU DOIN'?"

Kurotsuchi snarled, jerked backward by the hand that snatched his wrist. The bones scraped together under Ikkaku's powerful grip and he glared murderously at the BOY that dared to lay hands on him.

"I suggest you let me go before something unpleasant happens to you." Kurotsuchi spat. "I do to Nemu what I feel."

"I don't fuckin' think so." Ikkaku growled, tightening his hold. "I ain't lettin' you lay another fuckin' hand on her."

"Ha!" Kurotsuchi barked. "You think you have some sort of power over me? A nobody? Who can you protect when you won't even be able to walk out of this office on your own?"

"What the hell're you talkin' about?" Words started jumbling up in Ikkaku's head and he couldn't get his breathing back under control. He almost didn't notice it, Mayuri's right hand blurring and Ikkaku felt something burn across his arm.

It took him a moment to realize his arm was suddenly covered in blood, the wound felt like it was on fire. "FUCK!" Ikkaku stumbled back, pressing the arm to his stomach, dizzy from pain.

"Do you like it?" Kurotsuchi asked with a broad smile. He leaned down to wipe the blood off the one long nail on Nemu's uniform. "I keep this one coated in the same poison that lace both my and Nemu's veins." He cackled quietly. "There isn't much, but that just means you'll suffer longer."

He was having trouble keeping his footing. "That's," he panted, "that's not just poison."

"How observant. That smell you've been subjected to is a very low dose of gaseous etorphine. It was very hard finding a proper dose for you- after all, I didn't want to kill you." Kurotsuchi sneered. "Not yet. Though if you don't leave this room and get treated, you'll eventually die of it. It doesn't take much etorphine to kill even a giant Hollow, it'll make short work of you."

Ikkaku's head was swimming and something was speaking to him from somewhere he couldn't see.

"Ikkaku," the voice grumbled out, "get out of there."

It sounded kind of like Hozukimaru. But that was strange, he wasn't in the inner world. Could he still talk to him? "No." Ikkaku said, swaying dangerously.

"Your heart rate is up," Hozukimaru said, "you're only spreading both the gas and the poison faster. Get out."

"No." Ikkaku repeated. "Not without Nemu."

"Feh!" Kurotsuchi idly kicked at the girl again. Neither seemed affected by the gas. "I should just take the chance and kill you. So annoying."

"Shut. Up." He panted. "I won't…" he blinked, trying to remember his words, "won't let you hurt her."

"IKKAKU!" Hozukimaru was screaming in his head and made his ears ring. "GET OUT!"

He took a weak step forward, trying to reach for Nemu, but his strength gave out. Ikkaku sprawled on the floor, each shuddering breath a painful labor.

"Kekeke! How pitiful you are, boy." Kurtosuchi rolled him on his back with a foot. "Wanting to save someone when you can't save yourself. What's the use? You're useless. You're a nobody. You're not even worth the effort to kill."

He managed to gasp out a 'fuck you' when his vision began to blur and darken.

But the captain was turning away. "Well, Nemu. Let's see your great friendship, shall we? Will you save your precious 'friend' and disobey the one who created you? Or will you betray him and gain my favor?" He leaned back over Ikkaku as his eyes began to lull back in his head. "Come, come, Nemu!" He sang. "You're running out of time!"

Ikkaku never found out her decision.

* * *

"What a fool you are."

Ikkaku looked around, shocked. "Wh-What the?" He was back among the impossible lake of poles. Hozukimaru was by his side, propping him up with a giant hand around his arm.

"Next time," Hozukimaru said, courteously blowing smoke away from the shinigami, "listen when I say run."

"Yeah right!" He struggled to find his balance on the poles. "When he's over there beatin' up on Nemu?"

The demon growled. "And getting yourself killed for nothing is better? She has someone watching out for her, she was in no real danger. I, however, can't look after you the same way."

That made Ikkaku pissed. "And I'm supposed to be fine with that and just leave her there? Lemme go! Stupid fucker, the hell do you know?"

"I know," Hozukimaru tightened his grip and pulled Ikkaku to him, face to face, "that you're no where near the level you need to be to even consider being able to survive an encounter with him. So when I say you run, RUN."

"I don't run from anything."

"If you care about Nemu as much as you think you do, if you want to help her and save her as much as you claim to, then you need to get stronger. You don't gain strength when you're killed." His voice had the tone of a dormant volcano. Hidden but still a threat. Ikkaku felt himself wanting that same power for his own.

Sensing the submission, Hozukimaru let him go and Ikkaku stood tall on the pole on his own. His jaw set, translating his anger and frustration to a single-minded determination. "What do I have to do?"

Hozukimaru blew out another stream of smoke. "First," he said, "we train."

* * *

First thing he was conscious of was someone wiping a wet-nap against his head. A worried face soon came into view. 

"Ah, you're awake." The voice was as gentle as the face. "Thank goodness."

He saw that face before. Kotetsu- he recalled. Kotetsu's older sister, the vice-captain. Saw her during graduation. Ikkaku thought sluggishly. That must mean he was in the 4th division.

"Nrg." He said, trying to get up on his elbows.

"Oh no." Kotetsu said, hands soft on his shoulders but still able to hold him down. "You've been unconscious for two weeks, now. You need to rest up."

"I…" he blinked. "Two weeks?"

"Yes. We were worried about you, especially that first week when your fever wouldn't go down." She finished dabbing at Ikkaku's head. "We've managed to clean out most of the poison from your system, but a part of it is attaching to some of your blood vessels. We're currently working on an antidote so until then, you may occasionally relapse into another fever. But," she reassured, "it won't be anything nearly as dangerous." Kotetsu smiled kindly. "The captain refused to let us give up on you."

Ikkaku's brow furrowed, mind clearing bit by bit. "Unohana-taichou?"

Kotetsu looked surprised. "Well, Unohana-taichou would never give up on anyone. I meant Zaraki-taichou. When he heard about what happened, he raised such a fuss until our captain calmed him down. I can't imagine relations between the 11th and 12th division will be friendly from now on, though."

"Ah." Ikkaku bit his lip, thought for a moment, then asked almost quietly. "Who was it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Who was it that brought me in?"

Kotetsu thought for a moment. "Hmm. I believe it was Kusajishi-fukutaichou. She said that Kurotsuchi-taichou put strange things in you. It took a while, but Unohana-taichou managed to isolate the problems, even though we had to put watchers on you for three days to make sure your heart didn't slow to a stop."

Ikkaku frowned at the ceiling, the information leaving a bad taste in his throat. "Kusajishi-fukutaichou…" The corner of his lip twitched over clenched teeth. "Of course. I'm such an idiot."

Kotetsu blinked, surprised. "Eh?"

His arms came up, bracing the heels of his hands against his eyes. Ikkaku's lips pulled back in a bitter smile and his body shook. "Idiot." He whispered to himself. "Fucking idiot…"

Kotetsu slid out of the room as quietly as possible.

* * *

Half the day went by before Zaraki slammed open the door. 

"Yo, baldy." He drawled. "Finally decided to get off yer lazy ass, huh?"

Ikkaku was sitting up, leaning against the wall. His eyes were flat and burning a hole into the wall opposite him.

"Pfft!" Zaraki towered over him. "Hope that teaches ya a lesson. Can't trust Kurotsuchi. Shoulda known better than to meet up with him. You're lucky Yachiru saw you goin' into the 12th and followed ya in." But he gave a crooked sort of grin. "But you got balls, I'll give ya that, baldy.

"Yer just some low-seat." Zaraki continued after the silence stretched. "He's a captain. Even if he is a pain in the ass, you ain't even close to his level."

Ikkaku's fists were trembling.

"Oi, you listenin'?" Zaraki casually slapped the side of Ikkaku's head.

"...no right."

"Hm?"

"He's got no right." His face was dark with fury and the memory of humiliation. "I don't care what the hell she is, he's got no right treating anyone like that! Especially if he claims them as his kid!"

Zaraki propped up his head on a fist, grinning between his knuckles. "Oh? You sound pretty pissed. Whatcha gonna do?"

"Crush him."

"Ha! Like I said, you barely got a seat. How you gonna crush him?"

When he turned to look at his captain, Zaraki hadn't seen determination that intense since he was in the Rukongai.

"I'm gonna be captain."

"Captain, huh? How?"

"I'll fight." Ikkaku snarled down at his fist, clenching and unclenching. "Vice-captain doesn't matter. Captain of another division doesn't matter. I'm gonna be captain of the 11th. I'll fight every one ahead of me. I'll become the strongest."

Zaraki's smirk glinted like jagged glass. "You pissed at me, sayin' yer gonna beat me to my face?"

Ikkaku gave a dark grin of his own. "It's 'cause I respect you. I know you're not gonna give up your position without a fight and I can't take the title of strongest if you're still alive. That's why I'm lettin' you know that I'm gonna get stronger and I'm gonna be the one that surpasses you."

Zaraki laughed roughly again, pounding Ikkaku's shoulder till he could barely sit upright.

"Get some rest, yer delusional!" Shoving himself to his feet, Zaraki said over his shoulder, "Don't let me catch ya bedridden again, Ikkaku. It's a fuckin' indignity."

Ikkaku's grin widened. If that wasn't a blessing, he didn't know what was.

* * *

"Kurotsuchi." 

Scowling at the lack of title, Kurotsuchi turned. "Ah, Zaraki. Just the person I wanted to see."

"Oh?" He crossed his arms and grinned. "Same here."

"I know your division knows nothing about conduct and manners," he hissed, "but keep them away from my daughter and my division."

Zaraki leaned in close and scowled. "I don't fuckin' care what you do with your division members, but you touch any of my people again and no amount of your weird ass surgery is gonna make you walk again, got it?"

Kurotsuchi snarled. "Keep them on a leash and I may consider it."

"Nah, see," Zaraki's uncovered eye widened as the hall around darkened under his subconscious flexing of power, "if they've got the guts, they can do what the hell they want. And 'cause I don't like you, I'm all for it."

Determined not to flinch, Kurotsuchi growled. "I would watch myself if I were you."

"Don't make promises, Kurotsuchi. That only makes me want to beat your spineless ass even more."

* * *

The week passed by, mainly filled with Ikkaku whining about boredom and causing trouble for any luckless 4th division member assigned to him at the time. By the time an antidote was found and administered, Unohana had to put him under her own personal care to avoid any further mishaps. Such as swiping and breaking a broom to practice spear moves, swindling other patients in some back-alley dice games and bribing orderlies into bringing him alcohol. 

During the last check up, Unohana said, "Madarame-kun, it seems that you're ready to go on full duty again."

"Yes!" Ikkaku whooped, jumping to his feet. "Finally!"

She placed a hand on his arm and smiled brightly. "Do be more careful, Madarame-kun. This incident is going under investigation, so you may want to be a little more wary of your actions."

He gave her an odd look. "What do you mean?"

"Kurotsuchi-taichou is claiming that he wasn't aware of the etrophine spill. He and his daughter, after all, were both unaffected. He's also claiming that you had attacked both Nemu and himself before you were incapacitated."

Ikkaku's jaw dropped. "That… He… THAT BASTARD!"

Unohana hid her smile at the subconscious spirit leak common in most 11th division members. It was far stronger than the last time she felt it. "Madarame-kun." She said, placing a hand against his elbow. "Those two weeks you were unconscious…"

"Huh? What about it?"

Her smile widened. "You spent it wisely, I hope."

For a moment, Ikkaku didn't seem to follow. But then his eyes lit up and he grinned. "Hell yeah!" He told her broadly.

"Good." She patted his arm motherly. "Be sure to take care of yourself, Madarame-kun."

"Yes, ma'am!" And the first thing Ikkaku did when he returned to his division was find the 3rd seat, challenge him in the quad in front of everyone and wiped the goddamm floor with him.


	13. Impulse

13.Title: Come What May – Impulse

Fandom: Bleach  
Rating: PG-13  
Word Count: 3569  
Characters: Ikkaku, Nemu, Yachiru, Renji, Yumichika, Hozukimaru

Summary: An experiment, if you will. Foot and mouth.

LJ-Cut: You just don't wanna get beat by a guy that's been fightin' all day.

"Shiny-shiny Head!"

"G'ah! Stop calling me stupid names!" Ikkaku grabbed Yachiru's belt and threw her off his neck. "And stop jumping on me!"

She giggled, flipping on her feet. "You're so funny!"

"Funny like a punch in the mouth…"

Either ignoring or completely missing the threat, Yachiru waved her little arms around. "Oo, oo! Shiny-shiny Head! Ken-chan has a mission for you!"

Ikkaku gritted his teeth against that stupid name. "Yeah? What?"

"The new guy from 5th division." She said. "Ken-chan wants you to show Tattoo Brows around."

He snorted. "Tattoo Brows?"

"I wouldn't be repeating that around. Shiny-shiny Head."

Baring his teeth, Ikkaku whirled around, snarling into someone's face. "The fuck you just say?"

A pair of slim eyes glared at him from under expensive looking shades. "I'm not likin' my nickname anymore than you are so don't even think about using it."

That got his hackles up. "Who the hell do you think yer talkin' to? I'm the 3rd seat of this division so you better be learnin' some fuckin' respect!"

"What, for a division of thugs? Yeah, right!"

"You think you're the shit, don't cha? Mr. Got-kicked-outta-5th-division."

"Hey, I didn't get kicked out ya bald retard! I wasn't reachin' my full potential there!"

"Yeah, you know what they mean when they say ya ain't reachin' your full potential? It means you SUCK, freak face!"

"Get the fuck outta my face, baldy, before you get your ass whooped-"

They were interrupted by Yachiru's giggle. "See? I told Ken-chan you two would be great friends! Shiny-shiny Head! He needs a room and stuff, so take care of it all!" She gave them a little wave before jumping the wall to terrorize someone else.

Ikkaku watched her go with a grimace. "Che. Just havin' her around puts me in a bad fuckin' mood."

"Tell me about it." The newcomer agreed. "She really knows how to piss people off."

They both glare at the wall before Ikkaku sighed. "Oh, yeah. Name's Madarame Ikkaku, by the way." He stuck his hand out. "Like I said, I'm the 3rd seat 'round here so if ya need anythin', go ahead 'n tell me."

"Hey, thanks." The other's grip was strong. "Abarai Renji. Former 5th seat of the 5th division. Nice to meet ya."

Except when Renji tried to pull his hand back, Ikkaku didn't let go. Instead, he leaned in close. "…We met somewhere, haven't we?"

Renji blinked. "Have we?"

"….yeah. Yeah, I think we have! You go to some seedy little bar down by the 10th district, don't you? Spend your weekends gamblin' and drinkin' there, right?"

"Yeah- hey, yeah!" Renji grinned. "Man, I never woulda guessed I'd meet you here!"

Ikkaku laughed. And then the smile dropped off his face and his grip became painful. "You owe me $200, asshole."

Renji's grin froze. "Er… well, the thing is I don't, uh, really have the money…"

"Oh really?"

"Really really."

A thin eyebrow rose up. "You could probably get a pretty penny from those shades ya got. Nice pair."

"Haha." Renji said dryly. "Uh, thanks."

"I ain't kiddin'."

"I ain't sellin' 'em."

They glared each other down, hands crushing each other. "Oh? They look brand new. Probably why you ain't got money."

"No they're not."

"Sure they are. Iba goes on about how great they are but he never buys 'em 'cause he isn't a moron."

Renji's eye twitched. "Are you lookin' for a fight? 'Cause you're really pissing me off, here."

"Like you could give me more than a work out-"

One hour, countless bandages, two broken teeth, one annoyed captain, two 4th division members, a couple binding spells, a pair of bruised egos and a good number of the 11th losing a lot of money later, Yumichika observed that Renji would fit in perfectly.

"Well, Nemu. You've been approved as my vice-captain. You should be happy to serve me directly."

"Yes, Mayuri-sama."

"However," his eyes narrowed, "when Urahara was captain, you listened to him almost as much as you listened to me."

"I apologize, Mayuri-sama."

"For that I must insure that you will listen to no one other than me." Wiry fingers gripped her chin. "Your uniform will change. This will be a physical reminder as to who you are submissive to. Do you understand, Nemu?"

She lowered her gaze modestly. "Yes, Mayuri-sama."

As tradition went, all newcomers had the option of gaining seats by fighting each seat, starting with the tenth. They had a week or until they lost to reach the highest possible spot. This was Renji's second day.

And he just blew Yumichika into a wall.

The gathered witness' jaws hit the ground in resounding silence, afraid to move as if this was some outlandish dream. Zabimaru's elongated segments zoomed back to the hilt and Renji bounced the flat edge of his Zanpakuto on his shoulder. With the weight of Zabimaru off his sword and chest, Yumichika let out a strained cough and fell to his knees.

"Che!" Renji glared. "The hell you holdin' back for? I know you got more than that in ya!"

Yumichika groaned, rubbing what was certain to be a mean bruise later. Zaraki chuckled, vaguely amused with the situation. He didn't know why Aizen wanted to get rid of the kid but hell if he wasn't just gonna be a waste in the 5th, anyway.

"Ah well." The redhead turned a mite gingerly. Not without his own wounds, the worst Renji suffered was a twisted knee and an impressive set of lacerations across his side from Yumichika. "Guess that means you're next, huh?"

Ikkaku didn't look up, laid out on the ground, half asleep. Renji's eye twitched.

"Hey, asshole!" He snapped. "Get up and fight me!"

"Don't wanna."

Eyes everywhere grew large and even Yachiru fell silent at that.

Renji stuttered. "Y-You can't say that!"

Ikkaku's brow furrowed. "Sure I can. You're beat up and exhausted. I'm rested."

"And…?" Zabimaru's hilt creaked under the pressure of his fist.

"And I ain't gonna beat ya when you're like that. People're gonna think I'm some kinda bully."

"You just don't wanna get beat by a guy that's been fightin' all day."

That got Ikkaku on his feet. He jabbed a finger at Renji. "I wouldn't even have ta release Hozukimaru to beat ya right now so shut the fuck up and accept my goddamn kindness!"

"You're up and here right now so just fight already!"

"Fuck no! You're already a higher seat than when you were in the 5th! Being 4th seat for a couple days should be a damn treat to you!"

Renji opened his mouth to snap again but Yumichika (far too calmly for a guy that had just been smashed half an inch into a wall) pointed out, "There's blood running down your leg, Renji."

Surprised, Renji looked down at his side. Which was drenched with blood and made his uniform stick to his side. "Goddammit…" He muttered.

Ikkaku snorted. "Get that idiot to the 4th, huh?" He waved a hand, walking off. "Come get me when you get back on full duty. Tattoo freak."

"You're fucking dead, baldy!"

Wandering aimlessly for a good half hour to lose any potential tailers, Ikkaku made a sharp turn and slipped over the far wall of the 11th division. He trotted over to one of the gates, flashed the keeper a grin (nice guy, took his bribes in the cheap rice candies Ikkaku would bring back from Rukongai) and hightailed it for a forest he knew by heart.

It wasn't much by normal forest standards. It had grass, flowers, bushes and trees and maybe the occasional animal. Those were, pretty much, the only way you could label it as a forest. It was thin and the plants a little sickly, but it was where Ikkaku had always gone to think or stew as a kid. It was the easiest place for him to sit and commune with Hozukimaru.

"Well?" The demon asked. Ikkaku was already jumping from pole to pole, energetically fighting some unseen enemy. "What is it this time?"

"That Renji." The shinigami grunted. His footing was getting more and more sure, barely even having to look before he moved. "He's gonna be a tough one."

Hozukimaru, of course, had been watching all the battles in the past two days. But still he asked, "Why do you say that?"

Ikkaku stopped, not the least bit short of breath. "First off, there's his Zanpakuto. Multi-segmented whip. Che. Takes away my advantage of reach. It can still form into a sword so I'm at a disadvantage getting in close, too." He crouched down, cupping his chin in thought. "I'll bet I'm faster than him, but he could probably still keep up with me. He's a bit weak on the left side, though. He knows this so when a quick attack comes in on the left, he can barely get in a hasty block but tends to leave the right open. Hmmm…"

Hozukimaru delicately bit his pipe and grinned to himself. All these years and the boy was finally starting to think on his own. He was still largely dependent on his sword's advice, but was finally gaining the insight Hozukimaru was trying to drill into him.

He still has a long, long way before he could even think about reaching Ban Kai, Hozukimaru thought, but he'll be hard pressed to find a decent opponent when he does.

"Well?" He asked. "You seem to have something going on in you head over there, boy."

In response, Ikkaku turned to the demon with a curious expression. "Ne, Hozukimaru. How easy is it for you to learn a new trick?"

Because of the blood loss it was two days until Renji was declared fit for more ass kicking. In an attempt to show good will, Ikkaku had offered to retrieve their current 4th seat. Yumichika came along in order to prevent both from being reinstated into the medical division.

Along the way back, Ikkaku felt the need to explain to Renji how he needed to get over trying to be some bad-ass, hot tempered kid. "Youth is good, don't get me wrong." He said importantly. "But being too rash just gets ya in over your head. Ya gotta learn to back off. That's where time and experience comes in. You need to emulate your elders."

Renji sneered. "The hell you talkin' about? You're the one that hit some guy in the head with a bottle last weekend for proving you cheated at cards."

Snarling, Ikkaku replied, "He was bein' a dick. He fuckin' deserved it."

"Feh! You're the one that was swipin' his drink because you went broke during the third hand!"

Yumichika clapped his hands, trying to get both of the hotheads' attention. "Oh, guess what I heard! The new 12th division vice-captain is finally getting official initiated today!"

"Yeah? So what?" Renji asked. "That's got nothin' to do with us."

Ikkaku snorted in agreement. "Yeah. Gonna suck for 'em havin' to…deal….wiiii…."

Traffic ahead of them had hastily parted for no small reason. Not only was Kurotsuchi-taichou walking down the way, but behind him strode a servile Nemu wearing an adjutant's shield. And a haori.

That… That had to be breaking someone's laws somewhere. No vice-captain should be showing that much skin and look so good doing it. An obi cinched her waist tight and the haori came barely mid thigh. Watching them pass, Ikkaku forgot how to breath.

"Damn…" Renji muttered from over his shoulder. "I'd totally tap that."

It was a gut reaction that had him planting his elbow in Renji's nose.

"Ah fuck! FUCK!" Renji bent over, clutching his nose.

Ikkaku hoisted him up by the front of his uniform. "What the fuck!" He shouted. "How 'bout some fuckin' respect here?"

Renji growled between his fingers. "What the fuck is your problem? Get offa me!" He shoved the other man away.

Coming to the rescue, yet again, Yumichika pulled the two apart. "Calm down, Renji." He said, placing both hands on the newcomer's shoulders. "Ikkaku just gets a little defensive over his girlfriend."

Ikkaku flushed. "She's not my girlfriend!"

"Fortunately not. He's just got a pitifully obvious crush on her."

"I DON'T LIKE HER!"

And the trio was suddenly hyper aware of an all-encompassing silence around them. Ikkaku's flush flared up, realizing that everyone was staring at him. Even Kurotsuchi stopped to glare over his shoulder. Nemu didn't.

"Uh," he stammered, "I mean… I don't…" Muscles in his jaw twitching, he did the first thing that came to his mind.

He turned and ran.

"Ikkaku!" Yumichika grabbed a handful of Renji's sleeve. "Ikkaku! Wait up!"

Mayuri's eyes slid from the retreating 11th division members to the down turned face of his daughter. "See, Nemu?" His voice was almost kind if not for the sadistic joy underneath it. "He's already turned his back on you. I told you things like 'kindness' and 'friendship' were baseless lies."

"Yes, Mayuri-sama."

"Saa." He moved forward again. "We shouldn't be late."

Hands tightening on the hem of her uniform, Nemu followed quietly.

They didn't catch up to him until they were in the 11th division's main quad. Ikkaku was doubled over from the run, leaning heavily on his sword. Yumichika and Renji puffed heavily, trying to support each other.

Under the 3rd seat's panting, they thought they heard him mumbled 'stupid, stupid, stupid,' like some self-depreciating mantra.

"Oi, oi." Renji stood shakily. "Ikka-"

It was only by Yumichika yanking him back did Renji prevent getting a blade rammed through his throat. "WHOA! Hold up!" The sheath clipped him in the chin, Renji stumbled, fell against Yumichika and both crashed onto the ground.

"Get up." Ikkaku commanded. "You want my spot? GET. UP."

"For the love of- WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Renji shouted.

"You can fight, can't you?" Came the thin reply. "I'm not playin' with you here." Ikkaku slammed his sword and sheath together. "Grow! Hozukimaru!" He held the spear with the point elevated. Renji saw it in his eyes. He needed a fight. A GOOD fight. A fight where he could really let loose and blow some steam and stop beating the crap out of himself.

Renji snorted, getting on his feet and drawing his own weapon. "Howl! Zabimaru!" He knew that look intimately. Almost every day since he cut the last tie to his own childhood. And, just like Ikkaku, he couldn't afford to play around either.

"Shouldn't we wait until we have the required amount of people to be witnesses?" Renji asked idly.

"They'll come." Came the reply as Ikkaku shifted his grip slightly. "They can't resist a show."

A thin grin answered that. "Well, I'll try not to beat you in one hit, then."

"Save your charity for someone that needs it." Ikkaku shot forward, faster than Renji expected, already working on the weak left side. Renji swung at head height, Zabimaru's spines were caught when the spear came up for a block.

He jerked the sword back, attempting to pull Hozukimaru from Ikkaku's grip but the other man took advantage of the pull, almost pushing Renji off his feet. And when he found his balance again, Ikkaku came in with a head butt. At the same moment Renji's foot connected to his gut.

Renji stumbled back, cursing and cradling his abused nose while Ikkaku nearly went on one knee, coughing and trying to suck in air. "Che!" Renji wiped his face with a sleeve. That was stupid, letting him get that close. He'd seen Ikkaku grapple before, wrestled around with him on a couple occasions himself. He fought like a wild cat, anything goes.

Ikkaku, however, smirked. Renji didn't know how he fought armed and most likely never fought anyone with a pole arm before. But Ikkaku had the advantage of watching Renji's movements, unarmed, with a sword and with a whip. On top of that, he had gone up against a few Hollows with whip-like appendages. Age, he thought dryly, really was weighty factor in a fight.

Renji drew back his arm and launched Zabimaru ahead, grinning wickedly when Ikkaku jumped. Flicking his wrist, Zabimaru whistled through the air and Ikkaku could only twist around and block it. The force sent him to the ground in a heap. He rolled onto his feet, flipping back as Zabimaru tore up the ground around him.

Giving Ikkaku space wasn't a good idea either, Renji realized. He was fast, could switch directions in a blink. Had all the innate agility a scrawny alley brat did, weak from hunger but strong in heart. He hadn't seen someone flip around so much since Rukia.

"Che! Fuckin' monkey!" Renji taunted. "Stand still and fight already!"

Ikkaku grinned right back. "Oh, you wouldn't want that! I got a trick I made just for you. You wouldn't want me to use it just yet!"

Besides, he still had too much energy to burn. Renji's ability gave him a dozen angles of attack, the speed and skill he used kept Ikkaku focused. But, he thought, blocking another attack and letting the power behind the blow roll him out of the way of the following strike, the ability would also be Renji's downfall. Whenever using Zabimaru as a whip, Renji himself didn't move too much. Hardly a heavy weight on his feet, he was just too secure with the idea of being able to keep his opponents at bay.

He sure as hell was gonna enjoy the look on that red haired bastard's face when he got the drop on him. Literally.

For the past 80 some-odd years Ikkaku trained in this quad. He knew every angle of the walls, the loose tiles on the roofs, each crack on the ground. The quad was a more familiar place than his own room. Ikkaku leapt straight at Renji, bracing Hozukimaru along his right side, absorbing the force of the whip. The whiplash took him at the near wall and he let momentum twist him around, planted his feet against the wall and transferred all that force right back at its origin.

"Wha-" Renji's reaction time took him out of the way of a flying spearhead. Ikkaku touched down right behind him, already going in for another strike by the time Renji had half way turned, Zabimaru still spread out. He took the blow on the jagged guard, Zabimaru shaking and jumbling up- almost knotting itself through Renji's panicked swings.

Hozukimaru spun, the butt jabbing at Renji's left side again, only to be blocked by the hilt. Ikkaku's smirk widened dangerously.

"Oraoraoraoraora!" He cackled, prodding at the weak side with a rapid attack, almost toying with the other shinigami. Renji winced, refusing to give ground and his knuckles were bleeding thickly. Desperate, he took a hit in the shoulder, throwing his arm out as if to punch Ikkaku's head with the hilt. He fell out of range of the attack, giving Renji enough space to reform his sword.

"YA AIN'T GOT ME YET!" He snarled, arching the sword at Ikkaku's open chest.

"That's what you think. Split! Hozukimaru!"

Zabimaru rocked to a halt, tangled in wood and chains. The tip of the spear pressed lightly into Renji's chest, right above his heart.

"Hey, hey, lookit that!" Ikkaku grinned. "Guess I won!"

Renji snarled, grip shaking tightly around his Zanpakuto. But he lowered the sword resentfully.

"Aw, don't be like that." The grin became a little more playful. "C'mon, you just gonna give up like that? Maa, guess it can't be helped, huh? I mean, that's to be expected, goin' up against me after all. Here, I might forgive your pretentiousness if you apologize." He prodded at Renji's chest lightly. "Yeah, that's it. Just say, 'I'm sorry for thinkin' I could take you on, O powerful and unbeatable Madarame-sama'. C'mon, say it. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon."

Renji, who had been scowling darker and darker all the while, pushed Hozukimaru from his chest and tackled Ikkaku to the ground. A fair percent of the gathered 11th sagged unhappily and the movement of currency took place en masse. Zaraki, who had the uncanny ability of showing up to a good fight in his division, huffed impatiently at the lack of blood.

"Oi, Yumi." He told the 5th seat. "When they're done beatin' the crap outta each other, take 'em both to the 4th division again."

"Yes sir." Came the reply. He shook his head and found a spot by the wall to watch the brawl. "These two are going to kill each other, I swear."

These days new rules were set in the 12th division. The most emphasized was that no member of the 11th division were to enter the gates without proof of official business. Another, aimed specifically at Nemu, denied her leaving the division without Mayuri, unless on official business.

These days Nemu would spend in the background, standing quietly in the most unobtrusive spot until her father called for her. And when he would dismiss her late at night, she would sometimes stand outside her room and look at the far, far wall that divided her from the 11th division.

These days Nemu didn't talk much and she followed every word that came from Mayuri as if they were the only things she understood. But that didn't keep her from thinking how much she missed the ability to smile.


	14. Limit Break

A very, very long chapter. And the two greatest characters that never made it to actual timeline alive sniff And, yes, that is who you think at the end.

* * *

**Come What May  
Limit Break**

Nemu had thought that being vice-captain and having strict rules in place would make things easier. She wasn't avoiding Ikkaku, exactly. She just… it was almost… nerve wracking, really. The thought of seeing him made her fear that something would happen and Mayuri-sama would find out and…

But then she became vice-captain. And she found out that she'd see the other divisions' vice-captains for monthly meetings. That on it's own wasn't so bad until she found out that the 11th division's 3rd seat sat in on the meetings.

"Of course." Said the 8th vice-captain, Ise. "Kusajishi-fukutaicho is still a bit too young to fully understand her job as vice-captain. And until she has matured enough, the job will fall to the 3rd seat."

She wasn't avoiding him. Not exactly. But Mayuri-sama would be upset if she didn't return straight after a meeting so she'd always have to hurry back after they were dismissed. And Ikkaku would always be caught up by one of the other vice-captains in some playful argument or being dragged off for a drink. He didn't have time for her either, she reasoned.

It was best for both of them, really.

Until the time when he managed to get a seat next to her. He plopped down, crossed his arms across his chest and glared straight ahead. Throughout the entire meeting he paid her little- if any –attention. It was the first time Nemu hadn't been able to focus on the meeting. And when she tried to leave directly after, he snagged her wrist.

"Why are you ignorin' me?" He said quietly, still seated. Nemu couldn't look at him, bangs bowed before her face. "What'd I do this time?"

"…." She turned her head away. "Why do you think you did something?"

"Because I always manage to fuck somethin' up around you." He gave her wrist a sharp tug, just enough to unbalance her slightly, but she caught herself and she was caught in his eyes. "Tell me." He said so deeply his voice was a soft rumble she felt through his hand. "Tell me what I did and I'll tell you I'm sorry."

Slowly, almost afraid of what she'd do if she touched him again, Nemu pulled his hand from her wrist, trying to forget the hewn roughness of his hands that had kept her safe and had comforted her.

He snatched her fingertips. "Nemu-"

"Don't." She said softly, but he still quieted immediately. "It's…" She couldn't think of what to say to that lost, weak look in his eyes that she hated so much. "Please let me go."

Nemu didn't expect him to hear her, barely even whispering. Expected even less for his hand to slide away from hers. She hurried out of the room, and her hand felt too cold, too soft around the one she held to her chest.

Not having yet gotten up, Ikkaku slid down in his seat until his head rested on the back of the chair and he was glaring at the ceiling. "Dammit…" He probably would've spent the remainder of the day there grinding his teeth except that someone else got in the way.

"Yo, Ikkakun!"

His eye twitched. "Kaien-san." Ikkaku said carefully. "If you don't mind, I kinda wanna stew over here."

"Sure, no problem." But the dark haired man pushed him to the edge of the seat, giving himself barely enough room to sit on the other edge. He propped his elbows on the table and grinned at Ikkaku. "So." Kaien said slowly. "You and Nemu-"

Ikkaku cut him off with a snarl. "Stop right there."

"Stop what?"

"That thought." He snapped, standing abruptly. "We're not like that, okay? I just… She-"

"You're trying to be friendly but she keeps trying to distance herself and you don't know why. But you know she's not as cold as that and you know she likes your company but it's like she can't stand having you around anymore even though you know that's not true." Kaien smirked between his knuckles. "Is that it?"

Ikkaku deflated. "Yeah… somethin' like that."

"Ya know," here Kaien stood up and started herding Ikkaku out of the room, "I think I know the perfect solution for you. If Ikkakun needs tips on how to deal with women, I think I may know the perfect person for him to talk to."

He couldn't help that hopeful note in his voice. "….Really?" Then he scowled. "And would ya knock it off with the stupid nickname?"

* * *

The perfect person, as it turned out to be, was Kaien's wife. Ikkaku felt out of place not only on a noble's estate, but sitting unattended across a table from a very powerful, very influential vice-captain's (who, and Ikkaku was too proud to admit this, he respected very much) rather attractive wife. 

She smiled at him kindly at him as her husband shuffled in the cupboards for some snacks. "So, Madarame-kun," (she had even asked if it was alright to refer to him as that, as if a noble needed to ask for permission!) "Kaien tells me you've been having some troubles with the female persuasion?" She had the same sort of the smile that Unohana-taichou did. Bright and warm and secretive and all too amused at whatever problem had revealed itself.

"Er, yeah. For the most part." He said gruffly, nodding his head as she passed a saucer of sake to him. He didn't know what it was about this woman that made him feel clumsy and completely out of his league. "We used to be friends in the academy and we got split into different division but we still talked every once in a while." Ikkaku shifted uncomfortably under her patient gaze, thinking that a grown man shouldn't be feeling like little kid. He tossed back the sake, hoping the burn of alcohol would give him focus. "We've kinda drifted apart, I guess. But every time I try to talk to her, she ignores me."

"I'm sorry to hear that." She replied, refilling the saucer with a delicate dip of her wrist.

He gave her a grin that wasn't entirely certain what it was supposed to be doing so it turned out to be a little nervous. "Yeah, so, uh…" Ikkaku cleared his throat. "Kaien-san said you might be able to suggest something. You know, to, uh, help me out. Uh…" He looked away, feeling a blush crawl from the tips of his ears and working across his cheeks. He felt like a pre-teen again- WORSE than a pre-teen because he never went through something this embarrassing before.

To make it worse, she giggled before cupping her hands over her smile. "Kaien!" She called to her husband. "He's so adorable! Where ever did you find him?" To which Ikkaku only blushed harder.

Kaien entered the room with that big, warm laughter that everyone automatically associated him with. One hand carried a platter of sweet bean buns and the other tenderly touched his wife's cheek and jaw. "Vice-captains' meetings, actually." He told her, sitting at the table and giving Ikkaku a grin. "He's been moping about and I finally decided he needed someone to knock him into action."

She turned on Ikkaku again, her expression curious. "Oh? Are you a vice-captain? Did you get promoted recently? I don't recall the name-"

"Ah, no." Kaien took her hand in his. "He's the 11th division's 3rd seat. Filling for Yachiru-chan."

"11th division? You mean he's the one-" Kaien nodded. "Then that's also-" He nodded again and she put a hand to her mouth. "Oh, Madarame-kun, I'm sorry! I've been so rude to you!"

Ikkaku jolted. "Huh? No, no you haven't! I mean…" He flailed briefly, trying to figure what was going on.

"Calm down, calm down." Kaien said, reaching out with one hand to snag Ikkaku's wrist and pushing a bun into it with the other. "She just realized what the problem was."

"Yes. I'm terribly sorry for that. I should have known."

"Er." He still looked lost on the subject. "It's okay?"

She poured out another saucer of sake, taking a small sip before she slid it in front of Kaien as he munched on a bun. "I see why you're having such troubles, though."

Deciding to chalk this up to some sort of 'married couple ESP', Ikkaku lifted his own saucer again. "Do you think you could help me out, then?"

"I think who really needs to be helped out isn't you, Madarame-kun." Kaien handed her the bun as he gulped down the sake, filling it up again as his wife nibbled daintily at the bite. Somehow they didn't seem like they were sharing, it looked more like what it would look like if one person had two bodies. The almost thoughtless way the saucer and the bun passed between the two without a glance at either each other or the objects at hand. Ikkaku couldn't help feeling like an intruder.

Kaien swished his saucer once or twice and threw it back. Before it even hit the table, his wife had filled it again and his hand came up to take the bun. Watching this Ikkaku figured the best way to keep it from messing with his head was just to keep drinking. His, too, was filled up almost immediately.

"You believe in keepin' a guy well inebriated, don't you." Ikkaku teased lightly. His grin was given back in double.

"So long as no one makes any trouble, there's no problem in being comfortable, Madarame-kun."

"You need to relax more often."

"It would help if you didn't keep tryin' to get me to buy you drinks."

Kaien's grin broadened. "Ah, but Ikkakun knows all the best bars."

Ikkaku made a face at the name and downed the saucer. When they made to refill it, he just put up a hand. "No thanks. You keep lettin' me drink and I'll be crashin' here, tonight."

"If you insist." She moved the sake bottle back and Kaien took it from her and put it by his own elbow. "But as I was saying before, I don't believe you are the one who has wronged."

"What do you mean?" He tossed the bun in his hand, finally taking a bite out of it. "Mm! These are good!"

"Aren't they?" Kaien grinned. "My younger siblings send them out to me whenever we're too busy to go see them. They're the best you can get."

"What you should do is keep trying to reach out to her. She is, after all, your friend, is she not? But don't try to pressure her into a decision, she's been placed in a hard situation. What she needs, I believe, is some outside help."

Ikkaku's brow crinkled, mouth full of sweet bean paste.

"A third party." Kaien explained, holding up his own bun as his wife took another bite from it. "I could talk to her, try to nudge her in a direction where she could make an unbiased decision."

She nodded, taking another small sip of sake. "It will have to be in a place where she won't fear repercussions, though. If she thinks that any sort of talk or interaction not on a strictly business level will be observed, she'll close up." But she smiled warmly across the table and told Ikkaku, "I can take care of that part, at least."

He ogled at them. "You two would be willing to help me out?"

"Of course!"

"It's no trouble at all. After all, Aizen-taichou is often inquiring about the 12th division's research. I'm certain requesting Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou's presence would not appear too suspicious."

"Then I'll just whisk her off to a place where she can feel safe and at ease and try to convince her to make her choice. No problem."

For a moment, Ikkaku's jaw worked soundlessly. Then his entire face lit up with an almost disbelieving smile. "You-You would? Really? Th-Thank you!" He put both hands on the table and touched his forehead to it. "I- Just, thank you!"

Kaien laughed again and his wife's lighter, softer laughter made it sound even warmer, more complete. "Aw, stop that." Kaien chided. "You'll just owe me a drink, later."

"Screw that!" Ikkaku said, jumping to his feet. "I'll owe you 'til you pass out!" He bowed once because it was like there was only one full person there. "Thank you, again!"

Kaien's voice followed him out the main house. "I'll be holding you to that, Ikkakun!"

The entire trip back to the 11th division, Ikkaku's steps were light and his grin broad upon his face. He couldn't help thinking things were really going to start going his way.

And in the back of his head he thought, even though it seemed a little cheesy, how much Lord and Lady Shiba seemed so little like a married couple and how strange it would be from now on whenever he'd see Kaien without his wife around.

* * *

The month was going by fast and every time he came across Nemu, Ikkaku made it a point to either grin at her or give her a wave. At first, Nemu had looked away quickly, almost like his actions were a signal for danger. But, as the month progressed, she eventually went so far as to even smile slightly back.

The times that he had, though, Kaien would try to drop by to give an update. "Maa!" He flopped on the floor where Ikkaku was trying to puzzle out some of the reports left to him. "That girl really is a piece of work, I'll tell you that."

"Hm." He was only giving Kaien a half-ear. There were supply requests to tend to and trying to figure out what they needed, what they wanted and how much funding they had for anything always twisted his brain around.

"I think she's starting to get it, though." The dark haired shinigami rolled onto his elbows. "She's more open with my wife, though. I guess I should've figured that. But she's starting to open up a bit more to me, too."

"Hm."

Kaien raised an eyebrow at the responsiveness. "She does actually talk about you a lot, you know. Not really 'Ikkaku this' or 'Ikkaku that' but she gets that look sometimes like she's remembering something precious."

"Hm."

"Like she wishes what she was remembering was still with her."

"How do you know that she's remembering something I did?" Ikkaku said, just short of snapping. He knew Kaien meant well and it really was an important matter to him but these damned reports needed to be done by morning.

"Ah, you really were paying attention!"

Ikkaku put his brush down, turned and GLARED.

The other man put his hands up and chuckled. "No, no, I'm being serious here. Seriously." He rolled onto his back again. "She does remember you a lot. We can tell because we mention you and she gets this warm look in her eyes. It's different than when we talk about someone else. See, she actually speaks about Urahara-taichou quite a bit. But she remembers you. You're the only one that she gets that look for."

Ikkaku looked at the brush, knowing he should pick it up but unable to gather the will, watching it unseeingly.

"It's a wonderful thing, being important to someone you care about."

Finally he wrenched the brush off the table and hunched back over the reports. "If I'm so important," and under any other circumstances he'd smack himself for the whining, "then why does she barely acknowledge me?"

Kaien huffed, joviality fallen from his face. "…That's the part that we're working on. Kurotsuchi-taichou isn't the easiest person to get around without looking too suspicious. It's even harder trying to convince her that he isn't the end all, be all. You should know that."

"….Yeah."

Abruptly, Kaien sat up and patted Ikkaku's shoulder. "But don't worry!" He grinned brightly. "Just a little longer and we'll get some sense talked into her, I promise!"

He looked up at he vice-captain and smiled slowly. "Thanks, Kaien-san. I really do appreciate this."

"I know." And he twisted and stretched, his back popping. "I wouldn't do this for someone who wouldn't." He tossed a grin over his shoulder. "See you 'round, Ikkakun!"

* * *

"Aw, come on!" Ikkaku scowled at the finger poking at the back of his head. "It's my birthday! I treated you on YOUR birthday!"

"Forget it." He tried to lengthen his strides but that poking finger managed to keep up with him.

"Please? Oh, pretty, pretty please?" A hand was tugging at the back of his haori. "Please, I beseech thee, oh great and powerful and wondrous Madarame-sama! Treat me tonight!"

"Forget it." Those hands jerked at his haori. Hard. Nearly pulling it off his shoulder. "Ow- dammit, woman!"

Rangiku scowled right back at him. "You owe me! I bought you drinks all night on your birthday!"

"Yeah, that's because that was a GIFT. I'm not supposed to be obligated to get you anything! And you weren't the only person treatin' me- you only bought me, like, three drinks! And on top of that," Ikkaku jabbed a finger at the mass of other vice-captains grouped nearby, "who the hell said I was gonna buy drinks for EVERYONE?"

Hisagi narrowed his eyes. "You're the one that tricked everyone out of their money at the dice game last week. You've got the money so obviously you're gonna be the one paying."

"First off," Ikkaku held up a finger, "if you're not cheatin', you're not tryin' hard enough. Secondly," he held up another finger, "you're the ones that got too smashed to tell what you fuckin' rolled."

"Still doesn't change the fact that we're broke and you have all our money." Iba piped up from somewhere near the back. But Ikkaku snorted, readjusting his uniform.

"Too bad for you guys."

"Calm down, everyone. Just calm down." The crowd split for Kaien, giving everyone an easy smile and placating wave. "I'll take care of it, don't worry." Before anyone had a chance to speak, he had Ikkaku by the shoulders, leading him a little bit away.

"I ain't payin' for everyone all damn night, Kaien-san." He growled out. "Not even you can change my mind on that."

"Aw, c'mon. Just the first round."

"No."

"But if you don't," Kaien drawled out, watching Ikkaku visibly prepare himself for whatever came next, "then Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou won't come."

He turned sharply. "What?"

Kaien nodded widely. "Oh, yes. Matsumoto invited all the vice-captains to come. It took her the entire meeting but she decided to join us." And then said deliberately, "On her own."

"On… On her…"

"Yup."

Ikkaku looked away, then looked back at Kaien. "Do you think…?"

"One more night." He told the bald shinigami earnestly. "I'll talk to her more tonight and I SWEAR, she will be ready to make her own decision."

He never thought he'd see anyone go from fully annoyed to absolutely anxious that quickly in his life. "She…" Ikkaku took a few deep breathes, not entirely certain why his heart was suddenly pounding in his ears like that. But then he looked over at the waiting vice-captains that waved cheerily (and glared pointedly) and his look soured.

"….okay, fine." Then said loud enough for everyone to hear. "BUT ONLY ONE ROUND!"

"So fucking stingy."

"Except for Iba who gets nothing!"

"You bastard!"

* * *

Nemu didn't, surprisingly enough, feel all that awkward with the rest of the vice-captains in a bar. Ise-san and Kotetsu-san had sat with her for the few hours they were there and they chatted amicably. Afterward, a couple of the other vice-captains would come and talk to her for a bit. The two cups of sake she nursed during the night rested warmly in her and she smiled at them. She tried not to laugh when Iba had flushed at her smile and promptly wandered off, mumbling something about sharp-tongued idiots being so slow and stupid about everything.

Ikkaku had attempted to talk to her on several occasions. Half the time he was either interrupted or dragged off by one of the others- or to be pleaded by Matsumoto for another drink. The other half he didn't seem to be able to bring himself to actually say anything, just gave her an uneasy sort of grin and make small talk.

But, somehow, she found even that a little endearing. Shiba-san was right, she figured, he really did worry about her, always making sure she was doing well, that she was comfortable. Nemu made a note to herself to make one of those intricate origami flowers Shiba-san seemed to like so much.

'Like a firework,' she remembered the other woman saying. 'Kaien and his family are so talented with them. When they explode they're like little petals of flowers against the night sky. Have you seen them?'

Nemu never had. But she had heard all about them from Ikkaku once, long ago. Remembered how he said with that boundless, wide-grinned way he had that he'd take her to the next festival and he'd show her the best place to watch the fireworks go off.

"Yo!" A body plopped down beside her, breaking her out of her thoughts. "You enjoying yourself?"

Nemu nodded. "Yes, Kaien-san."

"Pft! That's not an order!" He held a drink to his lips. "Got something on your mind, let me know."

"Of course."

They sat quietly in the revelry of their comrades until Kaien jerked Nemu out of her thoughts. "You're giving him a hard time, you know."

"I-I'm sorry?"

"Ikkakun."

Nemu pushed her untouched cup away. "What do you mean?"

In reply she received a surprised look. "You mean you haven't noticed? That guy's all over you. He does whatever he thinks you'd like, he'd break himself for you and you push him away. That poor bastard." He said with a chuckle. "That's a persistent one, though. Gotta give credit to a guy with that much heart."

"Why do you think that?"

Kaien gave her a sideways grin. " 'Cause I'm also a man in love. I'm just lucky enough to be married to mine, though."

And Nemu blushed, gaze inadvertently sliding to Ikkaku, draped on one side by a cackling and drunk Hisagi, an equally sloshed Rangiku on the other.

"It must suck for him, though." Kaien continued. "He's the kind of guy that would rather keep getting denied by Kurotsuchi-taichou just because he can hate that guy. Instead it's you that keeps on rejecting him and it's breaking his heart."

She looked down at her hands, the comfort she generally found weaving her fingers together didn't seem as forthcoming this time. "…it's for the best."

"It's for the best only if you believe in it. But then you smile at him and that gives him hope. You keep looking for him and he knows this because he WANTS you to look at him." Kaien pushed a finger against Nemu's forehead. "You need to get your signals straight. This is driving everyone up the wall."

Nemu put a hand to her head, her demeanor completely unraveled at the sudden poke. "…" Her wide eyes flashed in the lights and Kaien could understand why Ikkaku needed her. "But… it's best if he just-"

He poked her again. "Let Ikkakun do what's best for Ikkakun. He's the kind of guy that probably didn't grow up with much of a family, if any. He probably grew up wanting someone to help him and look out for him and probably resents the fact no one did, even if he knows that hardship made him what he is. Then you come into the picture and your only family treats you like garbage. He needs someone to protect and you need someone to keep you from getting walked all over. That's how he thinks, I'll bet you."

Kaien drained his cup and propped his chin on his knuckles, elbow on a knee. "Think about what you need. What you really need and not what other people tell you. Then think about what he can give you. If he can fulfill that, it's well worth the trouble. Trust me on that." Then, just as abruptly as he sat down, Kaien got to his feet, ruffling Nemu's hair. "Maa! Just think about it, 'kay? I'm still too sober to leave." And he bounded back to the others, tackling Iba to a bottle of sake.

Nemu spent the rest of the night reflecting in her own cup. How wonderful it was to smile again, she thought to herself. How wonderful it must be to have someone to share everything you are with.

Nemu pondered what it would be like to give someone part of you forever and thought that must be the most wonderful thing of all.

* * *

It was a week later that news came about the death of the beloved Lady Shiba. A day later her death was joined by her husband's.

The Shiba family refused to come to the funeral or the wake and just asked for the body of their sister to join her with their brother. Ukitake-taichou spent a week with them and when he returned he was even sicklier than before. His face was pale and gaunt and his coughing increased. The death of his vice-captain seemed to suck the very life out of him.

Nemu had read the circumstances surrounding Kaien's death and had recounted them to her father. He gave a little distracted snort and told her, when she asked to attend the wake, that he didn't care what she did.

This was the man, Nemu thought as Kyouraku-taichou eulogized for Ukitake-taichou who was too unwell to attend, that had been so kind to her. To her and everyone. There wasn't any one person Kaien didn't greet with a smile. Even her own father- that everyone else regarded with some form of distaste –he would honestly wish well when they crossed paths.

This was the man that did everything unconditionally. He laughed loudly and smiled brightly. He ate like he was starving, drank like it was a celebration and spoke of all his friends with the same warm tenderness that he spoke of his siblings. Everyone in the world was a friend to Kaien-san and the only ones he treated better than his friends were his family, and the only ones he held in even higher regards than that was his sister and brother and wife.

This was the man who had convinced Nemu that nothing in the world mattered so much as being with those you loved in every way possible. This was the man that made Nemu yearn for the ability to hold someone as tightly as he held his family.

This was the man that died the moment he heard his wife was killed. This was the man that was killed through his rage.

Nemu wasn't a brave woman. She didn't see herself as strong or courageous or unfettered or anything she thought of either Shibas. Losing two friends tore at her, the thought of losing someone even closer made her heart break into tiny, glittering pieces. She didn't know if she were strong enough to live without that little part she'd give to her most important. She didn't know if she was brave enough to die twice in the name of her love.

And perhaps it was selfish but Nemu didn't want to force her love to die twice in her name.

When the crowd rose and began lining up to offer their respects to the two black-ribboned paintings, Nemu slipped through the gaps and toward the entrance of the great hall. Her footsteps were light and quick in the falling evening, the stones and flowers in the vast garden seemed to glow in the moon. A small wooden bridge arched over the trickle of water, splashing in a series of tiny falls through the grass.

"Nemu."

Her heart was suddenly pounding.

"You okay?"

Nemu bit her lip, placing a hand on the railing to keep it from trembling. "Yes?"

She could hear Ikkaku's frown. "You just gonna leave without-"

"Please." Her voice was a little too loud in the silence. "Please, stop."

"Stop what?"

"You're always- always doing- when…" Nemu put a hand against her mouth, biting into her lip or her palm, she didn't really notice which. "Please, just stop."

The soft gravel crunched under his feet. "Stop what?" His voice was a little sharper and Nemu wondered if his heart was beating just as fast as hers. "What am I doing wrong? What do you need?"

"I…"

"Tell me what you need, Nemu. I'll do it. Do I need to apologize? Do you need my help?" She could feel his breath warm across the pale arch of her neck.

"I need…"

"Tell me, Nemu. It doesn't matter what. I'll do whatever you ask."

"Please…"

"Nemu, I-"

"STOP!"

And suddenly Nemu was halfway over the bridge and Ikkaku looked up at her, surprised. Her face felt hot and her throat was tight. "Please, just stop. I can't care about you the way you want me to. I… There's just too many reasons, I just… I can't." She realized distantly that she was crying, her voice ragged and her body shaking.

Ikkaku reached out, everything from his proximity to his scent to his expression made her want to collapse, to curl up and let him protect her from the world for the rest of her life. She jerked her body backward.

"Stop it, stop it, please." Nemu dragged her sleeves over her cheeks, the material rough and painful. "I can't- it won't- please… Please, don't ask that of me. Don't…"

Ikkaku's hand dropped to his side and his jaw clenched, face washed pale under the stars. "Is that… Is that your decision? Is that going to be the choice you stand by?"

She bit back a hiccup and nodded. "…Yes."

For a long moment Ikkaku stayed silent, glaring at the wooden planks because he couldn't bring himself to glare at Nemu. "…All right." And it sounded like a fight to say those words, like his breath was clawing its way forcefully from his throat. "If that's your choice." He inclined his head slightly to her. "Good night, Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou."

"Ikkaku." She whispered brokenly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He turned away sharply. "Here, I'm the only one that should be sorry." Quick, measured steps took him down the path opposite the bridge and Nemu watched him until the dark and pale of his silhouette was lost in the garden.

In the night he seethed, cursing himself for being so stupid, being so naïve, for thinking things would turn out okay even though he already knew things rarely ever did.

"Idiot," Ikkaku muttered to himself, "fucking idiot." It took him several more steps before he realized someone else was there with him.

"Ah." He blinked at the newcomer. "Kuchiki-taichou." Ikkaku stepped to the side of the path. "The wake is still going on." He said with an incline of his head. The captain gave a curt gesture of acknowledgement as they passed each other.

He squelched the urge to tense and glare at the captain. He didn't know much about him but that he took the nobleman act to unprecedented levels. It took every holier-than-thou asshole Ikkaku had known growing up and rolling them into one, magnifying that snooty attitude tenfold. He didn't know if Renji had picked up on the same vibe, but the redhead barely hid the intent in his gaze whenever Kuchiki-taichou passed by. At least, Ikkaku took miniscule comfort in that, here he wasn't alone.

With a heavy sigh Ikkaku continued down the path, sticking his hands under his belt, lost in thought until he came upon a lone figure standing in the middle of the walkway.

He blinked down at her, a young shinigami with haunted eyes. "Hey." He said quietly, but she jerked back in surprise. "What're you doin' here?" Ikkaku peered down at her and she flinched. "You look like you want to go to the wake. Why don't you?"

She clenched her hands together, looking like some caged animal. "I-I can't…"

"How come? It's open to everyone that wants to pay their respects."

But she bit her lip and looked away. "I can't because… because I was the one-"

"Stop." She obliged out of surprise, looking up to see Ikkaku giving her a disapproving glare. "Just stop right there, okay? I don't know what you're blamin' yourself about and it doesn't really matter, got it? Did he tell you it was your fault?"

"….no."

"Does he blame you for whatever you did?"

"No."

He prodded her forehead with a finger. "Then stop it. If you think you did him wrong, but he says you didn't then you DIDN'T. Stop beatin' yourself over it. Feel guilty for what he says you've done wrong, not for stuff you think you did."

She gave a little sniff. "Kaien-dono and Ukitake-taichou… They blame themselves for it. They wanted my forgiveness for putting me through that."

Ikkaku's eyes softened and he sighed, giving her head a little pat. "They don't want you to forgive them. They want you to forgive yourself. And that's the hardest thing to do."

"If anyone else knew what I've done, they wouldn't forgive me, either."

"Hey." Broken eyes peered at him with a pain that wrenched at his heart. "Nobody likes to see a pretty girl look sad." Ikkaku told her quietly. "If you held any sort of respect for Kaien, don't ruin his memory by moping around like this. He hated seeing anyone sad. Even more when people were sad over him. Don't dishonor him like that. Smile," he bumped her chin lightly, "that was always Kaien's favorite part of a person."

There was a distant memory in her eyes and her smile was watery. Ikkaku didn't know if the tears she spilt were of pain or release but she told him in a voice that held some gratitude, "Thank you."

Giving her a passing pat on the shoulder, Ikkaku walked on, tucking his hands in his belt again. He wished that it were always that easy to bring even a small piece of happiness back to someone. But not everyone wanted help, or happiness or saving…

For the first time in his life, Ikkaku thought maybe he should just give up. 


	15. Never is a Long Time

As some of you may or may not have noticed, I've been updating this pretty much once a month. On my lj (at livejournal(dot)com/users/idiosyn) I tend to update this once a week. So if you want to, stop by there and maybe drop me a line

* * *

**Come What May  
Never is a Long Time**

"Gimme a break! Is that the best you guys got? Hey! Yeah, I see you slackin' back there! Congratulations, you just won 20 more reps for everyone!" The crowd groaned and Renji snarled at them. "WHAT WAS THAT? THANK YOU, 4th SEAT ABARAI-SAN, WE'RE GLAD YOU'RE TAKING TIME OUT TO TRAIN WITH US?"

They stifled their groans this time. "Thank you, 4th seat Abarai-san, for training with us!"

"Maa. I suppose it's a lively bunch, today."

Renji turned to find Yumichika approaching, a couple papers in his hand. "Meh." He sneered at the group again. "You let them take one break, they think they can just half-ass the rest of the day." He put his hands in his belt. "So? How's he doin'?"

Yumichika sighed. "I haven't checked on him this morning."

"Yumi…"

"Well, it's not like he's just going to change over night!" He shot back. "He's been like this for three days, now. I've never seen him like this, I'm…" Yumichika shuffled a foot. "Well, I'm a little worried."

Renji scratched at his nose, looking over the exercising 11th division members without actually seeing them. "…Yeah. I am, too."

"Renji, what're we going to do?"

"We keep at him, I guess. There's nothing else we can do. I REALLY don't want to have to deal with our last resort."

The 5th seat grimaced at the thought. "Right." He pulled lightly at his neckpiece. "I'll finish these reports and then I'll try talking to him again."

"Thanks, Yumi."

* * *

"Ikkaku!" 

"Go away, Yumi."

"Don't be like that. Look! I even brought you breakfast!"

"Not hungry."

Yumichika took in the lump on the bedroll with a frown. In the past three days, the only thing anyone's seen of the 3rd seat was sealed up in a blanket- and that sight was only reserved for Yumichika and Renji.

"Ikkaku, really." He chided. "This is getting old, don't you think? Seeing you mope about the first day was a little amusing, yes. The second day, well that's understandable to an extent. Yesterday, still understandable but starting to wear thin. Today, though? Now it's just getting ridiculous."

"Hmph."

"We can only cover for you so much, you know." His voice was a little sharper. "Everyone's starting to ask where you are and even the captain's starting to get pissy about it."

"Tell 'em I'm on sick leave."

He scowled at the lump. "You're only on sick leave if you're sick. And Unohana-taichou has to sign you off for it."

"Then I'm on regular leave! Just leave me alone, already!"

Yumichika put a hand to his head. "I really don't want to get the captain involved in this, Ikkaku. But if you're going to keep being so stubborn, I will."

"Fuck off!"

There was a sigh followed by the sound of someone leaving. It wasn't much later- or maybe it was, he wasn't paying attention –when someone else came by the room. And, because you couldn't mistake that uncontrolled spirit leak anywhere, Ikkaku burrow further under the blanket with a grimace.

"Yo." Zaraki growled into the room. "So this is where you've been hidin'."

Which made Ikkaku wonder what Renji and Yumi were telling him he'd been the past few days. Ah, crap. That probably meant they thought he owed them.

"Get up."

"Captain," came the muffled reply, "I'm really not-"

There was a hand on the back of his head and it drew him back. And then slammed him face first into the floor.

"Gah- FUMPH!" He curled up, gripping his nose in agony. "MMPH!"

"Get up." Suddenly Ikkaku was being lifted up by the back of the collar and dangled several inches off the ground. "Do ya think I'm playin' here? Get the fuck up!" He was dumped unceremoniously on his ass.

"The hell's wrong with you?" Zaraki snarled.

"Don't wanna talk about it." Came the reply, mumbled through fingers and a grimace.

"I don't care what happened. I wanna know why you're bein' such a little bitch 'bout it."

Warily, Ikkaku got to his feet. "It's nothin', really Captain. I just need to-"

"My ass! You've had half a week to work this shit out but you've just been in here sulkin'!" Snarling, Zaraki shoved his face toward Ikkaku. "Why the hell do you think you're my third seat? Why the hell do you think I'm allowin' you to go on with you goal ta kill me and take my place? I ain't in the habit of puttin' faith inta people, but I sure as hell didn't think you'd just roll over dead 'cuz one thing didn't go your way. You wanna be the strongest? So do a lot of other people. That means you ain't got time to backtrack, got it?"

Ikkaku nodded grimly. "Yes, sir. I apologize."

"Good." Zaraki leaned back, his eye narrowed and obviously not trusting the response. "You better shape up or I'm gonna have ta get rough on ya."

"Yes, Captain."

* * *

The chow hall was unnaturally hushed that day. It didn't take long to discern the source of the division's unease. Not with the way they whispered and glanced about. 

Renji snarled at them and even though they eeped and studiously didn't look around, he knew it would just start up again in another minute. He plopped down next to Ikkaku, who seemed interested in only pushing his food around and ignoring Yumichika as he chattered on his other side.

"Hey, that's a surprise!" Renji said loudly. "You're actually wearing your sword at your hip for once!" Ikkaku gave a little shrug and proceeded to ignore Renji as well. The redhead looked at Yumichika and the other man just rolled his eyes. "Man, ya know you're bein' pretty pitiful right now, right? I mean, come on!"

"Already tried that."

"Eh?"

Yumichika sighed. "Tried reasoning, tried provoking, even tried the vice-captain, but she eventually got bored and left."

Renji ran a hand over his face. "Great. What the hell are we supposed to do, then?"

There was a brief pause. "There's always the last, last resort."

* * *

It was empty in the halls. Rightly so, as most division members were out on patrol or sweeping alleys or resting up from a long night of guard duty. Finding that most of his reports were already completed, Ikkaku leaned against a wall in the hallway, watching sightlessly out the window. 

A voice rumbled deeply in his ear. "Ikkaku."

He turned. And almost fell off a pole. "WAH! Geez!" He pin wheeled his arms, gaining some semblance of balance. "WARN me when you're going to do that!"

Hozukimaru merely gazed back, heavy brows folded over his yellow eyes, floppy lips turned down severely. Ikkaku shivered at the expression.

"What?" He asked the demon.

"What," came the displeased reply, "are you doing?"

"…Doing? What do you mean?"

"All you're doing is feeling sorry for yourself. Are you so weak that you can't survive one set back?" Teeth grounded around his pipe. "Are you that feeble minded? I chose to be your partner because I believed you had great potential in you. You had such promise, you reached levels others thought you incapable of. And yet instead of doing what you're capable of, you're prepared to let the world walk over you."

"It's not that simple." Ikkaku crouched down, rubbing his head tiredly.

"How is it not simple? You meet a challenge, you overcome it. Some thing gives you a fight, you fight back. Someone tells you you're no good, that you can't do something, you prove them wrong. How, then? How is this so different from anything else that's confronted you?"

"Because it's Nemu! How many years did I spend trying to help her- 100? 120? All that time I tried to be her friend, I tried to give her some sort of courage, some sort of confidence and she blows me off! She doesn't want my help! She doesn't want my friendship! She doesn't want anything to do with me! What the hell am I supposed to do? Ignore that? Do you want me to fucking harass her? Will THAT make you feel better?"

Hozukimaru bared his teeth in full. "So is that it, then? You've lost your strength? Your entire purpose in life? Is there no other reason for you to fight? Why was strength so important to you before you met her? Why was it so important for you to protect her?"

"It's over, alright?"

His expression snapped blankly. "…What was that?"

"It's over." Pressing his forehead against his knees, Ikkaku repeated quietly, "It's over."

"Over… It's over." The world started growing dark around them. "You dare to come to me and say that 'it's over'?" Something wet hit the underside of Ikkaku's jaw, ran up the length of his cheek and fell off. "After all this time, fighting against everyone that's never believed in you, fighting everyone that's said you'd never amount to anything. All that time and the only thing to show for it is proving that they were right." Hozukimaru's voice grew more guttural and sharp, like a bear trap, rusted but still capable of snapping bones in two.

More drops were hitting him and Ikkaku looked down. Water droplets were rising from the faded distance below them, streaking above him and rippling the sky. Above his head, lightning arched around the bamboo poles and he heard a dim rumble somewhere below.

"All the time I put into YOU, all the time I helped YOU better YOURSELF and you have the audacity to tell ME that it's over! You think your world has ended because of something as mundane, something as SIMPLE as one inconsequential female? I wasted MY time on YOU?"

"Hey, what the fuck is your problem?" Ikkaku surged to his feet. "You think I'll just let you talk about Nemu like that?"

"Why do you care? She's the one that threw you away. She's the one that wasted your life." Hozukimaru turned his back on the shinigami, his expression dark but his eyes burning brightly.

"Because I just do!" The thunder rumbled closer and the occasional lighting would crackle so high there was flashes of light below them. "She wants nothing to do with me, but I still care about her! I can't help it! I did everything I could for her and she chose someone else and I'm not allowed to feel anything because of it? I can't be depressed, I can't be hurt, I can't be left the fuck alone?" Ikkaku heaved, yelling over the sound of rain splattering against them and the oppression of the sky.

"There is a difference," Hozukimaru's voice was low, but carried as if he spoke directly in Ikkaku's brain, "between grieving and being pitiful. The moment you've lost the will to fight, the moment you lost purpose in your life, the moment you strayed from your goals, that is the moment you've stopped being you. And no amount of grieving can justify that. I will not be party to someone who has become willfully lost. I will not be partners with someone that refuses help." And suddenly Hozukimaru's pressure grew and he engulfed the world- the rain, the thunder, the distance. "GET. OUT."

When Ikkaku opened his eyes, Yumichika was the first thing he saw. "Wha-!"

"Hey, hey!" Hands were on his shoulders. "Are you okay? You were really out of it."

"What…?" He looked around. He was still in the hall, still by the window, but he sat on the floor, propped up on the wall. His uniform was no longer drenched, but he could still feel the cold of the rain slashing into him.

"You look like worse than usual. Have you even been sleeping?"

"I just…" he put a hand to his head. "…It's nothin'. Sorry."

Yumichika frowned. "Do you want to talk about it."

"Nah." Ikkaku stood up, bracing a hand against the wall over a sudden onslaught of dizziness. "I'm okay."

But a hand grabbed at his sleeve and Yumichika stood in his way. "I'm you're friend, aren't I? You trust me, don't you? Tell me what's wrong- let me help. Please!"

Gently he pulled the hand off. "It's nothin', Yumi."

"Ikkaku-"

"You can't do anything, so just…" He shook his head and sidestepped the other shinigami, "just let it alone."

Frustrated at the exchange, Yumichika spent an hour searching for Renji, pulled him aside and said, "We need to use the last, last resort."

* * *

"This looks like a good enough spot." 

"Renji," Ikkaku scuffed at the dirt, "what are we doing here?"

The red head rolled his shoulders and stretched out his back. "A fight."

"Fight?"

"That's right." He drew Zabimaru. "Zaraki-taichou won't let me apply for a vice-captain position unless I beat you. Without getting' into a brawl. So? You gonna draw your sword?"

Ikkaku sighed. "Look, I don't feel like-"

Gut reaction was the only thing that saved him from the head strike. Ikkaku backpedaled, stumbling to keep his balance.

"Come on." Renji stated darkly. "Draw your sword and fight."

"Renji-" another strike came at his side and he half drew Hozukimaru to block it. "Hey!"

"I ain't playin' here!" The other roared. "Draw and fight!"

Ikkaku blocked a strike by his shoulder, their blades singing loudly in his ears. Renji pushed forward with a series of quick attacks, all blocked or dodged. Except they were sluggish and slow and when Renji twisted his wrist around, Ikkaku had to drop his guard to push the edge from him. Without pausing the attack, he gripped Zabimaru's hilt in both hands, smashing Hozukimaru aside and coming back across, scoring a slash over Ikkaku's wrist.

Hissing, the 3rd seat jumped back. A hand automatically fell to the cap of the hilt, but he stopped, the muscles in his jaw clenching. Renji narrowed his eyes and charged in again.

"ENOUGH! Enough feeling sorry for yourself! Enough thinking you're not good enough! Enough of this damned pity party!" Each slam jostled Ikkaku to the shoulders, desperately trying to block the attacks. "You're better than that! You're stronger than that! Stop thinkin' things no longer matter and actually THINK for fuckin' once!"

The last blow sent Ikkaku skidding across the grounds. His hands trembled under Renji's snarl. "This ain't like you. You're not this weak! Yumi and me're worried sick over you and you don't care! Everything you've worked so hard for is goin' down the drain and you don't fuckin' care!" Renji pulled his sword back and placed a hand on the blade. "Seein' that helpless face on someone I respect fuckin' disgusts me. HOWL! ZABIMARU!"

Jaw clenched, Ikkaku drew his sheath from his belt. "GROW! HOZU-" He cut himself off, shocked.

And Zabimaru struck him square in the chest.

"Oh fuck." Renji paled, snapping Zabimaru back into his contained form. The dust and loose underbrush settled slowly and braced against a splintered tree, Ikkaku gasped and coughed.

"Shit, shit, shit." He sprinted to the other's side. "Are you okay? I thought you finally came to your senses- what happened? Why'd you stop?"

"Ho-Hozukimaru." Ikkaku rasped, pointing to where his Zanpakutou had leapt from his hands. The sword stuck upright in the ground and the sheath lay passively next to it. "Hozukimaru really did reject me as his partner."

Renji blinked. "Reject? You mean…?"

"He gave up on me." Ikkaku lay his head back, an ironic, bitter grin twisting his lips. "Of all the people to give up on me, the first would be my own sword. I should just quit. What good's a shinigami that can't use shikai?"

With a heavy sigh, Renji sat down beside the other man. "You know," he said at length, "I meant it when I said I respect you. I mean, we came from similar backgrounds. A couple of alley-brats that everyone said would amount to nothing. Except that we really are somethin', aren't we? Ranking among some of the strongest in the Gotei-13, and no one ever believed in us. Doesn't that give you some kinda pride thinkin' about that?"

Ikkaku flicked at some wayward grass. "…yeah."

"Another reason why I respect you is 'cause your goal is kinda similar to mine. I didn't have an actual family growin' up. Just me and four other kids. I helped bury three of them on a hill in the Rukongai. Me an' the last one, we decided to join the academy, we wanted to stop worryin' about how we were gonna eat, how we were gonna live everyday. Except…" the sudden change in Renji's tone drew Ikkaku's attention. "During the academy, she got adopted into a family. One of the four noble families. And suddenly… all the years spent together, all the hardships and all the fun and everything all disappeared. Suddenly I can't mean anything to her and she can't even acknowledge me anymore.

"That was when I decided I hat to get even stronger. Her brother's the captain of the 6th division. I'm gonna become his vice-captain, I'm gonna learn all his skills, how he moves, how he fights." Renji clenched his fists. "And I'm gonna beat him. I'll make him recognize me and my strength. And once I've surpassed him, once he acknowledges me, there's no reason for her not to. There's nothin' stoppin' me from taking back the person I hold most important."

He turned to Ikkaku expectantly. "That's like your goal, right? You want to beat Zaraki-taichou. You'll become the strongest and Kurotsuchi won't be able to do anything to you."

"Yeah," he admitted lamely, "it was. Except… Nemu doesn't want me to. She doesn't want anythin' to do with me now."

"Did she say that?"

"What?"

"Did she say that?" Renji repeated patiently. "Did she say she wants nothing to do with you? Did she say she doesn't want you anywhere near her with her entire being?"

"It's the same thing."

"No, it isn't. I grew up with a backwards-talkin' girl. I know the difference between what they say and what they mean. Like, I'll bet," Renji leaned back, "that she says she doesn't want you involved, but what she means is she doesn't want to risk you getting' hurt because of her again. She thinks that the only way she can protect you is by distancin' you.

"That's why you have to get strong, ain't it? Because even if they say things like that, even though they think like that, what the hell do girls know?" Renji sneered into the air. "They think they know what's best for us, they think their way will keep us safe even though it doesn't do anyone any good. What do they know? Girls are content to makin' themselves martyrs. They're happy with bein' miserable 'cause they think it's romantic to sacrifice their happiness like that. They don't think about what we want, or that things can change." He gave Ikkaku's shoulder a light punch. "That's why we gotta be strong, right? To show them they ain't gotta be miserable and alone. We gotta be strong and show them they gotta get over themselves."

For a long moment there was silence.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" Ikkaku suddenly burst out angrily. "The fuck am I doin' sittin' around like some teary-eyed chick?" He shoved himself to his feet and crossed the ground in long strides. "The hell am I feelin' sorry for? The hell am I thinkin' that maybe I really WON'T amount to anything' just 'cause everyone else says so?" He yanked his sword from the ground, sliding it back into the sheath. "I walk my own damned path. Everyone else can fuckin' blow themselves 'cause I ain't stoppin' for no one."

He slung Hozukimaru across his shoulders and turned back to Renji. "Well? Let's go. Captain's probably pissed that we've been gone this long."

With a wide grin, Renji fell in step beside him. "'Bout friggin' time."

* * *

"You wanted to see me, Captain?" 

"Yeah, yeah. Get in."

He sprawled comfortably in front of the captain's desk. The captain didn't care much for appearance, especially with his higher-ranking officers.

"So did ya beat some sense into him?"

"Yup." He grinned wickedly. "He's out chewin' out some guys 'cause we got a report about some of our boy's harassin' civilians durin' a patrol."

"Yeah? Hn. For a moment I thought I was only imaginin' all that shoutin'." He shuffled through some papers. "All right, deal's a deal. You said ya wanted to try for 6th division, right?"

His grin widened even further. "Yes, Captain."

* * *

It was well past midnight, but Ikkaku couldn't bring himself to sleep. Not when there was still this to deal with. Hozukimaru lay on the ground in front of him and he knelt, hands on his thighs and cleared his throat. 

"I'm an idiot." He said plainly. "I realize this and I'm sorry. I'm an idiot and I'm stupid and I don't know a good thing when it's been there by me all the time. I'm sorry that I'm weak and I'm sorry that it took me so long to get over myself. There's still reasons for me to keep fighting and to keep getting stronger. But I need your guidance. I can't do this alone," he snorted to himself, "we've already seen what happens when I do stuff on my own. I need your help, I need your advice."

He bowed, touching his forehead to the ground. "I'm sorry. I can't change what's already happened and I can't say that it won't happen again but I can swear to you that I will gain the strength to keep from losing my way again! I know my goal now, I can see my path. I will no longer stray and I won't let anything stop me from reaching my goal. Please forgive me, I can't get stronger than I already am without you to guide me!"

"Maa, I must say that's the most eloquent I've ever heard you. Not even cursing. I am impressed."

Ikkaku jerked his head up, surprised. Hozukimaru sat cross-legged in front of him, elbow against a knee as he puffed the ever-present pipe.

"You-You're…" Ikkaku looked around quickly.

"Hm?"

"You can come into this world?"

Hozukimaru looked somewhat insulted. "You can come into mine but I can't come into yours? How rude."

"Ah, no, I didn't mean that. Er, I mean, I didn't know you COULD."

The demon laughed around the pipe. "There's still so much don't yet know, Ikkaku. But you're learning." He smiled at the shinigami almost fondly. "You'll make it in your own time, I'm certain of that."

And when Ikkaku gave him his usual grin, Hozukimaru knew he wouldn't settle for anything less than greatness.

* * *

Mayuri was leaving the 4th division, Nemu behind him. Hooked to her belt was a small bag that held the cellular-regrowth formula that he had tried to convince Unohana-taichou was the next step in healing. To stimulate the cells to recreate lost limbs would ensure the continued service of countless shinigami out in the field. But she refused to deal with it, claiming that there wasn't enough testing and it was still too dangerous a substance to deal with.

Fool. He snorted angrily to himself. None of them understood the progress he was throwing in their faces.

"Ah, Kurotsuchi-taichou! I was told I'd find you here."

Annoyed, the captain turned to find the red-headed shinigami from the 11th division approaching them. He bowed to the captain and vice-captain. "I'm sorry to bother you unannounced like this, Kurotsuchi-taichou. I'm Abarai Renji, I'm selected to replace the current 6th division vice-captain and Kuchiki-taichou suggested that I make myself familiar to the other captains beforehand."

Mayuri narrowed his eyes at him. For an 11th division thug, this one actually had some sort of manners. Typical, that Kuchiki brat wouldn't let some uncouth barbarian become his vice-captain. At least he had that much sense.

"Yes?" Mayuri snapped. "What do you want?"

"I'd like to know the sort of relationship our two divisions have. That way I can anticipate any sort of help we may need from you."

Mayury curled his lips, but obliged in Abarai's curiosity. Nemu, however, didn't get a chance to hear the reply as someone grabbed her wrist and dragged her back within the 4th division's gates.

"Oi, you." One of the 4th division members that was sweeping the floor jumped slightly. "Stay by the gate. Tell me if Kurotsuchi-taichou comes around, got it?"

"Uh, y-yes!"

Tugged several meters further into the division, they finally came to a stop.

"Well." Ikkaku turned and flashed Nemu a smile. "How you doin'?"

Her brow creased. "I thought… Didn't you-"

Ikkaku waved it off. "I was stupid, that's all. I finally came to my senses though."

"But you said you wouldn't bother with me anymore."

"And I said I got over being stupid." Ikkaku's grin fell. "Did you really think I leave you to face that guy alone? I'm not gonna stop tryin' to get you to see there's something better than HIM."

"Ikkaku, please. Leave me alone. If you keep trying to get near me, you'll only get hurt."

"Do you think I'm afraid of gettin' hurt?" He huffed. "I spend most my day fightin', gettin' hurt means nothin' to me."

"But /I/ care if you get hurt!" She blurted out. "I don't want to see you hurt because of me!"

Ikkaku gave her a little smile, relieved by that. "That's why I'm going to get stronger. I'll become the strongest shinigami alive. Kurotsuchi won't be able to touch me, and I'll protect you from him. I swear it."

Her throat felt tight. "Why? Why are you doing this? Why won't you listen to me? If you try to get involved with me you'll only get hurt, you KNOW that. So why won't you leave me alone?"

"'Cause I love you."

Nemu's eyes widened. "What?"

"I love you. At least, I'm pretty sure I do." Ikkaku looked away, flush creeping across his face. "I dunno, I've never been in love before- I've done things for you I've never done for anyone, that I can't imagine doin' for anyone else. You're always the first thing on my mind, I'm always worryin' about how you're doin'. You're the only one I've ever lost myself over before. So even if I don't know what love is, I'm pretty sure it's what I feel for you." And he gave her that look that dared her to argue with his logic.

"But… But Mayuri-sama said that nobody could ever love me."

"Oh yeah? Well he said that I'll always be a nobody. Guess that means he made you just for me then, huh?"

Nemu blinked up at him for a long second. And then started laughing. Ikkaku's expression softened, not realizing how much he missed that sound.

Giggling still, she took that last step to him, hands clutching his haori, head against his chest. "I missed you." She said softly.

"So did I." A hand came up, warm against her shoulder. They stood there, enjoying the simple presence that they missed, how it felt to smile so freely, surprised that such a heavy weight was bearing down on their shoulders unnoticed and only something as simple as being near each other could lift it.

The mood was broken, however, when Ikkaku finally noticed the little 4th division sweeper waving frantically. "Crap." Reluctantly he stepped away from Nemu. "I don't think your dad's gonna be happy with either of us, so I'm gonna bolt for now, okay?" Impulsively, his fingers wove around a loose lock of hair, brushing against Nemu's cheek. "But I'll see you again, I promise."

In response, she put a hand against his chest and gave him a gentle push backward. But she smiled warmly at him. "I know you will."

Hesitating only a moment longer, Ikkaku jumped the division's wall and through it, Nemu could hear voices speaking.

"Geez, could ya cut it any closer?"

"Shut up! You were the one that was supposed to distract him!"

"I did! But talkin' to that guy makes you wanna stab yourself in the head!"

Shaking her head, Nemu turned to the little shinigami as she felt Mayuri's presence drawing nearer. "What's you're name?" She asked politely.

"Ya-Yamada Hanatarou."

"Yamada-san," she smiled brightly, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone else what happened."

"N-No! Of course not!"

"Thank you." She bowed to him and he hastily and clumsily returned it. She turned to corner and met Mayuri's opening insult with, "I apologize, Mayuri-sama. A few of the 4th division members had questions about the cellular regrowth formula and we didn't wish to disturb you while you spoke with Abarai-san."

He scowled, but couldn't find any immediate faults with her excuse. "Just hurry up, useless girl! We still have a lot of work to do today!"

"Yes, Mayuri-sama." She fell into step behind him and hoped her happiness wasn't too apparent.


	16. Breakaway

Well, one thing I must admit about writing for a rare pairing is when people review, they tend to give some feedback. And that is why I like writing

Quick warning though: there's spoilers for after the SS Arc.

* * *

**Come What May  
Breakaway**

Ugh, that's it. Between those two idiots and Rukia's haughtiness Ichigo had come to the conclusion he had enough of the 13th division. ….yeah, right. We'll see how long that lasts, he thought irritably, rubbing his neck, scowling his way over to the division gates. It was there he saw a slender woman struggling under a couple of heavy looking boxes.

"Oi," he said, jogging lightly over to her. "Do you need any help?"

She nodded once and Ichigo noticed the adjutant's shield on her arm. "If it isn't too much trouble."

"Nah, no problem. You're taking them to the 12th division, right?" He took a box from her. Alone, it was weighty enough that he was amazed she could carry both at all. "I'm heading to the 11th, anyway."

The woman inclined her head again, looking as if it she were trying to bow. "Thank you very much, Kurosaki-san."

"Sure." He replied as they walked out of the gates. "What's your name?"

"Kurotsuchi Nemu. Vice-captain of the 12th division."

"Yeah? Inoue mentioned you when she told me about the freak-captain." He gave Nemu a quick look. "Don't look all that sad to me."

Her eyes darkened slightly. "I was sad for my comrades and for your friends. I apologize for the pain we caused them."

"Forget about it. They're okay now."

Nemu looked confused. "But your friend-"

"Don't worry about Inoue. She doesn't look it, but she's one of the toughest people I know. She's been through a lot, so if she says it's okay, it's okay."

Wisely, Nemu decided to drop the subject. If that Quincy boy hadn't mentioned it to his comrades, it wasn't for her to say. So, instead she asked, "You often go to the 11th division, don't you? It's been even more lively there than before."

Ichigo smirked. "Yeah. They're all idiots over there, but they're not bad. They're not all stiff and uppity like a lot of the other divisions, either." He suddenly scowled. "Even if Zaraki scares the crap outta me and Ikkaku annoys me with all that trash-talking he does. Che! And I thought Rukia talked some shit."

Nemu smiled warmly despite herself. "Ikkaku is a little unruly at times."

"A little? That guy's a grade-A thug in my book!" He paused, looking down at the woman. "You know him?"

"We were in the academy together. We're… friends, to put it simply."

"Yeah? Hey, why don't you come with me? Hang out a bit?"

She bit her lip, expression softening sadly. "I would but… If Mayuri-sama knew I still associated with Ikkaku-"

Ichigo frowned. "Mayuri? Who's that guy?"

She looked mildly surprised. "My father. Captain of the 12th division. He can't stand dealing with the 11th unless it's official business. He especially hates Ikkaku and Ikkaku," Nemu smiled hollowly, "he doesn't like Mayuri-sama by default."

"So what? Why would that stop you?"

"Because Ikkaku isn't yet strong enough to fend off Mayuri-sama."

"So don't let him face your dad alone."

Nemu halted abruptly. "What?"

Ichigo, having taken a few extra steps, turned to her. "Ganjyu says Ikkaku's pretty high up there, right? And you're a vice-captain so you're probably pretty strong, too. So if he's not strong enough on his own, together you both should be strong enough."

"But," Nemu struggled to wrap her mind around the concept, "I'd have to stand against Mayuri-sama."

"Yeah, and?"

"Mayuri-sama is the one that created me. I owe him everything. I can't disobey Mayuri-sama."

Ichigo's brow furrowed in confusion. "But you're friends with Ikkaku. Aren't you disobeying him already?"

For the first time, Nemu's jaw actually dropped. "I…" wasn't actually, she thought. Hiding their relationship to protect Ikkaku just seemed like the logical thing to do. Being with Ikkaku seemed just as natural. He made her feel warm and wanted and alive and the idea of being with him didn't seem like anything except for 'right.'

Shifting his box, Ichigo gave a half-hearted snort. "Friends not helping friends, brothers condemning sisters, captains betraying everyone- it's a surprise this place hasn't totally collapsed yet." But he gave her a half smile. "C'mon. These boxes aren't getting any lighter."

"Ah, yes. I apologize." But Nemu's mind blurred and she felt a little dizzy. All this time she had been disobeying her father; how had she not realized that? He didn't want her associating with him, he didn't want her to get any ideas of getting strong and breaking away.

Except, all this time she had pushed Ikkaku away wasn't an act of obedience, but of protection. How had she gone all these decades and not noticed?

"Do you need any help from here?" Ichigo's voice broke Nemu from her thoughts, standing outside the 12th division's gates.

"No, thank you, Kurosaki-san." She said. "I can find someone to help me from here." She then turned and bowed her neck again. "I appreciate your help. And thank you for your advice. I believe I have much to think about for now."

Frowning to himself, Ichigo wondered if that was a good thing. "Uh, no problem, I guess."

* * *

As she was dismissed from Mayuri's side at the end of the day, Nemu returned to her sparse room and knelt upon the floor, facing the wall. Deep in thought all day, she had to admit that while she had willfully disobeyed her father with befriending Ikkaku, it wasn't her first act of disobedience.

Very carefully and very silently, she lifted a wall panel. Her thin fingers reached underneath, gripping a wrapped handle and pulled Horaizannoakaiokan into her lap. After replacing the panel, she sat under the filtered moon at her window, wiping the dust and dirt from the sword. Holding it carefully, Nemu closed her eyes and reached out.

When she opened them again, there was the sound of waves in her ears and the scent of wet sand. Fluttering its wings against the sea spray was Horaizannoakaiokan.

"Nemu," its voice smiled, "it has been a while."

"I apologize." She bowed to the crane. "I didn't mean to hide you away for so long."

The bird strutted, an echo of laughter trailing it. "No need to apologize. I am glad you are here. Though if you are here, there is something burdening you."

"Not so much of a burden as it is a question." Nemu looked up at Horaizannoakaiokan, the breeze from the sea was cool and sun warm. "Kurosaki-san had said that I'm disobeying Mayuri-sama. This I do not deny but…"

"You are worried that this realization may lead somewhere that you cannot predict and are afraid to follow."

Embarrassed at being read so easily, Nemu looked away. "I'm worried that, even if I were to stand up against Mayuri-sama, together Ikkaku and I still won't be strong enough. Or of what would even happen afterward."

Cocking its head to the side, Horaizannoakaiokan asked, "Is it merely not knowing what may come of it that you are wondering about, little Nemu?"

"Yes."

"I am afraid that is not for me to say." The waves lapped quietly. "But the unknown is not to be feared. It is to be overcome. It is to be embraced and become known. Madarame was once an unknown. There are still aspects of him that you do not yet comprehend. Yet you do not fear him."

"Ikkaku makes it obvious if he wants you to fear him or not." Nemu said with a little smile. "He isn't hard to anticipate, unlike Mayuri-sama. Usually, anyway. Ikkaku can still surprise me."

"I always enjoy when you speak of Madarame. You always have the kindest face I have seen when you speak of him."

Nemu blushed. "D-Do I? I never realized."

Chortling, Horaizannoakaiokan tossed its red-crowned head. "Of course you do not. That is part of what makes it so beautiful. Your father's attempts to control you are a waste. Even unconsciously, you are slowly pulling away from him. It is only a matter of time until you reach the confidence to break away completely."

"Do you really believe I have the strength to break away from Mayuri-sama?"

"I believe it is not so much a question of strength, but a question of will. Do you wish to break away from him? Do you posses the constitution to see it through?" Fluttering its feathers again, it continued, "But if the question has weighed so heavily on your mind that you felt the need to come to here then I believe that it is come time for you to begin freeing yourself."

"But what should I do?"

"I cannot tell you that. That is for you to discover. But, if you will recall, the Lord and Lady Shiba encouraged you to make your decisions on your own, for the purpose you want for yourself. Do not worry about what others want you to chose, think only of what you want. If you find your road that you wish to walk, honestly want to take, the path you truly believe will give you happiness, I know that Madarame will support you anyway he can." The brilliant head shone as it bowed. "As will I."

Nemu smiled at it, holding out a hand. "Thank you, Horaizannoakaiokan. I'm glad that you're here."

It held its head to her, letting her hand skim over the length of its neck. "We are partners, after all. I would never abandon you. Especially when you need me most."

They sat on the sand, staring out into the sea. Nemu, lost in thought, idly stroking Horaizannoakaiokan's back as the crane sang to the clouds.

* * *

"You should probably take it easy."

"I'm fine."

"You still look a little pale."

"I said I'm FINE, dammit."

Yumichika tossed his head lightly. "Fine. If you say so."

"I've BEEN sayin' so." Ikkaku growled back.

"Ichigo and the others are leaving in a few days." The other mentioned idly. "Do you think you're fine enough to fight with him again?"

There was a pause of consideration and a thoughtful frown. Ikkaku put a hand against his stomach. "…Not too sure 'bout that."

"That's what you get for eating red bean paste filled tempura."

"Red bean? Orihime-chan said it was sweet bean."

Yumichika wrinkled his nose. "Either way, I don't know how you thought that was appealing."

Ikkaku pulled a face at the thought. "We should probably patent her cooking as biological warfare."

"Ah, speaking of which, there's Ichigo!"

The boy waited as the two shinigami approached, thumbs hooked in his belt. "Took you two long enough." He told them. "I was starting to get bored."

"Since when did we become your entertainment?"

"Since I started getting bored around here. And would you back off? Your face disturbs me." Ichigo sneered, pushing Ikkaku away.

Putting a hand to his cheek, Yumichika supplied, "I tell him that, too. But he refuses to use any of the facial creams I give him. In fact, he lets the vice-captain use it as finger-paints."

"That's 'cause I ain't a dammed pansy-ass flamer!"

"With an attitude like that," Ichigo said dully, "it's a surprise you're friends with a nice girl like that."

Yumichika put a hand over his eyes as Ikkaku turned slowly, expression carefully empty and dark. "A girl like who?" He asked quietly.

"That one from the 12th." The Shun Shun Rikka apparently didn't do anything to cure Ichigo's deficient self-preservation instinct. "Though maybe she'll think some sense into herself."

A sword clicked half an inch out of its sheath and Ichigo saw it glint out of the corner of his eye. And saw himself looking back in the fine edge of the weapon as immense pressure darkened the hall around him.

"What," Ikkaku loomed, his teeth bared like a snarling wildcat, "did you tell Nemu?"

Ichigo swallowed as said self-preservation instinct finally caught up and kicked him in the head. "Er…"

* * *

"Yamamoto-soutaichou." She bowed to him, fingers delicately folded against the floor. "Thank you for seeing me on such short notice."

"For you, who has never asked anything of anyone," the old man said, beckoning her closer, "to suddenly request a private audience, it must be something of great importance."

Settling in front of the captain-general, Nemu nodded her head. "It's about my father."

Yamamoto raised a great eyebrow. There were so many different directions this conversation could take. "Yes? What about Kurotsuchi-taichou?"

"He is my father. I respect him and care about him very, very much. I would do anything he asked of me, but…" She trailed, trying to keep her thoughts in order. "I've disobeyed him twice. I resurrected my zanpakuto when he forbade me to keep it. I keep an acquaintance with the one person he forbade me to associate with.

"I want to support him. I've helped him recover from the fight with the Quincy. I was so relieved that none of the injuries were permanent. And yet… Yet I feel as if I can't keep living like this." Biting her lip, Nemu lowered her eyes. "Because of Kurosaki-san and Ishida-san, I've come to realize that I really am of no use to anyone. I want to protect… protect the person I deeply care for, but I know that I'm not strong enough. But Mayuri-sama doesn't wish for me to become strong. He wants to control me but…" She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Yamamoto-soutaichou. I shouldn't be saying such things about a captain-"

She saw his hand raise and cut herself off. "Kurotsuchi-san," he said gently, folding his hands together, "speak freely."

Nodding, Nemu's hands twisted on themselves, folding imaginary bits of paper between them. "It's just that so many people protect me, but I can't do the same for them. I'm no where near as strong as the other vice-captains. They have their own wills and goals and drives, but I don't. I can see them all becoming stronger, but I haven't changed throughout the years. It was only with Ura- with the previous captain encouraging me that I felt the need to better myself. But Mayuri-sama doesn't care about my skills so long as I can complete what he orders me to."

Yamamoto nodded to himself. "And you feel that you need to be transferred else where, am I correct? Otherwise, Kurotsuchi-taichou will keep you from growing into your potential."

"…that is how I feel, yes."

"Kurotsuchi-taichou is a very controversial subject. Especially among the other captains. A good number of them feel he is not a fit leader." Yamamoto's long, bony fingers brushed against his desk. "What do you feel?"

"He is my father. I believe my opinion would be biased in that regards."

"And yet you feel you would be better off apart from him."

Nemu bit her lip and said nothing.

"There is nothing wrong with that." The old man said. "All children must grow up and part from their parents. It is a natural course of life. However, the real question is what you plan to do once you're no longer under him. It's not guaranteed you'll be given a status as exalted as vice-captain in any of the other divisions."

"I wouldn't ask to be given a position I haven't earned." She said quietly. "I don't feel I would be of any use in the other divisions, either. My talents lie with the 12th division."

"Then where do you wish to go?"

"There is one place I have in mind. I still have much to learn and master. But…"

"Are you worried about what others would say?" The captain-general asked kindly. "Are you worried about what would happen to the division when you are not there to act as a buffer between them and your father?"

"A… a little, yes."

Nodding his head, Yamamoto said slowly, "I could possibly send someone of my choosing to fill in as vice-captain. Temporarily." He eyed Nemu mildly. "Do you plan on ever returning, Kurotsuchi-san?"

"I… I suppose. Once I become strong enough."

"I'm sure your friends are happy with your decision."

"I haven't told him, yet."

Yamamoto smiled behind his hands. "Perhaps you should. Madarame-san worries terribly over you, you know."

"Yes, I know…" Nemu's head came up quickly. "H-How did you…?"

But the 1st division captain waved off the question. "Just think of gossip as a passing hobby of an old man. To have someone standing so staunchly beside you is quite an honor."

Nemu smiled to herself. "Yes, it is. Though many others don't seem to think the same way."

Chuckling, Yamamoto leaned back. "Madarame-san is not an easy one to work with, no. But if you treat him correctly, he is invaluable. He's rather well respected, even among the captains and vice-captains, did you know?"

She looked up, surprised. "N-No. I was never aware."

"He's a hard worker. Very reliable and he trains very good men. Except he loves fighting a bit too much for many of the other captains to be comfortable with him and he wouldn't listen to most of them anyway." Yamamoto chuckled again, louder. "That and Zaraki-taichou refuses to give him up to any of the other divisions."

"It's Ikkaku's dream." Nemu said proudly. "He wants to beat Zaraki-taichou and become the 11th division captain."

"That is not an easy task. I wish him the very best."

"I don't know if he'll ever reach his goal, but I have faith in him." Nemu said. "I don't doubt that he'll give it his all, every step of the way."

"And I have no doubt that you will do the same." Yamamoto reached out to ruffle Nemu's hair like a doting grandfather. "I'm glad he's inspired you so. Watching you with that small, hidden smile on your face brightens my day." Nemu blushed prettily, unable to help a smile spreading. "Now, tell me where you wish go and I'll do everything in my power to help you."

* * *

The lanterns were being lit when Nemu made her way down the long walk past the divisions. After meeting with the captain-general, Nemu's heart felt light but fear and uncertainty quivered at the base of her spine. In the end the transfer was the easiest part. Telling Mayuri-sama, she knew, would not be nearly as simple.

"Yo, Nemu."

She paused and looked up, careful to keep a knowing smile from spreading. "Hello, Ikkaku." She said politely. "Were you waiting long?"

Crouched on the tiles of the 11th division's gate, Ikkaku flushed and looked away. "Waitin'? Nah, I was just, you know, just hangin' out is all."

"Of course."

"So… you headin' back to your division?" He asked, jumping down beside her.

They fell into step, almost shoulder to shoulder. "Yes."

"So, uh…" Ikkaku tried to look nonchalant, "I heard you met Ichigo today."

"Kurosaki-san is a very kind boy."

"He's all right. Pretty full of himself if you ask me."

She couldn't help smiling a little. "I think he has a right to be very confident in himself."

Ikkaku snorted. "He's still a jackass, though." He shot Nemu a sidelong glance. "What, uh, did he say exactly? You know, to make him say you had somethin' to think about?"

She looked up at him, surprised to find him anxious about the subject. Though she knew Ikkaku worried about her, it was still both flattering and immensely charming to actually see. Smiling warmly, Nemu took the hand that he hooked into his belt and laced her fingers with his. Ikkaku blinked down at her, surprised.

"It didn't have anything to do with how I feel about you." She said a little shyly. "It was something else."

"Oh." Relieved but nonetheless still curious, Ikkaku asked, "About what?"

"I talked to Yamamoto-soutaichou."

"Yama-ji?" Was it that bad? "What for?"

"I've requested a transfer."

Ikkaku's steps rocked to a halt. "Transfer? Transfer to where?"

She turned to step in front of him. "Aren't you curious as to why I wanted a transfer?"

"Why? Obviously because you've had enough of your asshat father!"

Nemu's lips turned down disapprovingly and Ikkaku heaved a reluctant sigh.

"Okay, okay. He may be an asshat, but he's still your father. Sorry."

She tugged at his hand. "Ask me why."

A smile quirked at Ikkaku's lips. "Why do you want to transfer?"

"Kurosaki-san brought up a point I hadn't thought about before." Nemu said, continuing their walk. "You shouldn't have to be strong enough to face Mayuri-sama alone. If I truly care for you, I should be there with you."

"Oh yeah?" Hn. Maybe Ichigo wasn't such an idiot after all. Damn, he'd have to thank the brat next time he saw him.

"Except that I can't become stronger under Mayuri-sama. I need to relearn the things he forced me to forget, I need to practice the skills I haven't used in so long."

"So? Where you goin'?"

For the first time since she received her zanpakutou Nemu felt excited and she smiled brightly and her eyes shone under the stars and lanterns. If Ikkaku didn't think he was in love with her before he definitely was now. "I'm going to train to be an instructor at the academy." She said, turning to him and holding his hand tightly. "Ever since Urahara-taichou left, their science division has been steadily falling behind because Mayuri-sama thinks it's a waste of time. I'm going to go there to help them and I'm going to learn everything I can there."

"The academy?" Nemu took one look at his expression and her heart fell.

"What is it?" She asked carefully. "I thought you'd be happy for me. It was my own decision."

"No- I mean I AM, it's just," he shook his head, "it's nothin'. It's stupid, forget it."

"Are you worried that we won't be able to see each other as much?"

Ikkaku flushed and looked away, but said nothing.

Smiling at that, Nemu put her other hand over Ikkaku's wrist, tracing over the tendons, alternating between light touches and gentle strokes over his forearm. "Ikkaku," she said softly, "did you think that my transfer would be the end?"

"…No."

She adjusted her grip and brought his hand up, rubbing over his knuckles as she asked, "Do you think I'll forget about you while I'm there?"

"No."

Nemu put a hand against Ikkaku's jaw, forcing him to look at her. "Then why are you upset?"

"Because…" He gave a resigned frown. "Because I can't look after you when you're that far away."

"I know." Nemu said softly. "I need to get stronger on my own. I need to get stronger for your sake as well as my own."

"My sake?"

"Because I want to be as capable as the other vice-captains. So you no longer have to worry about me."

He gave a little snort. "I'll always worry about you, even if you were as strong as me."

At that she smiled again. "I'm glad for that. But at least you don't actually have to."

Ikkaku smirked down softly at her. "You know, everyone would be surprised if they knew how you acted when they aren't around."

"I'd be surprised too," she replied, her hand trailing from his jaw to his neck, light on his Adam's apple, "if I thought about it first."

"I told ya thinkin' just gets in the way."

"You think." She memorized how his neck fell under his collar, the arc of the spine as it met the skull, the line from ear to cheek with her hand. She wrapped each one and locked it in her mind so she could unravel them whenever she needed to remember what courage and strength felt like. "I see you thinking all the time."

Ikkaku intercepted her hand, holding it tightly against his chest. "You'd be surprised," he leaned in with a grin, "at some of the things I think about."

"And it gets in the way?"

"I haven't done any of the things I've thought about yet, so I guess they do."

She actually smirked back at him. "And you're not going to do what you're thinking about right now, are you?"

Ikkaku's eyes widened slightly. "Well, since you asked so nicely." He closed the distance between them and Nemu's eyes fluttered closed against the kiss. It was simple and chaste, but she whimpered lightly when he teethed at her lower lip, tracing the blush of her mouth with his before pulling back. "That should tide you over for now, right?"

Nemu looked up at him, eyes wide and brighter with her cheeks flushed. Damn if it didn't make Ikkaku want to do it again. "…was there more?"

"There was a lot more." He grinned wickedly. "You probably wouldn't want me gettin' into that on the walkways. Besides, we got time. I'll make sure of it."

"A-Ah."

"You should probably get goin'." Ikkaku said, letting her hands slip from his. "Kurotsuchi's probably already on a rampage for you."

"You're probably right." She took a step back, a little shakier than she thought, and turned.

"Hey, Nemu."

She paused. "Yes?"

"When you tell Kurotsuchi about gettin' transferred," he said with a stubborn frown, "let me know. I wanna be there when you tell him."

Nemu's brow knit. "But-"

"No buts. I know what he's gonna do when you tell him." Ikkaku scowled. "And if you think I'm gonna sit on my ass when that happens we may start to have problems here."

Slowly, Nemu smiled warmly at him. She knew better than to expect him to sit quietly by, but to hear him say that made her feel that much more certain that what she was doing was the right decision. "Thank you." 


	17. The Caged Bird

Thank you everyone that's commented and patiently waited for each chapter. It's been a lot of fun and I'm glad so many of you've enjoyed it.

* * *

**Come What May  
The Caged Bird**

If there was only one thing about Ikkaku that Nemu could be thankful for it would probably be his ability to know when and how to keep pushing her forward. Especially at a time like now when she was on the verge of waffling on the most important decision of her life. But when they'd sit back to back, her head against his shoulder and him talking about whatever, whenever he was there it reaffirmed her belief in her decision. So certain about her choice in both path and relationship that she even surprised herself at her own boldness.

It was during one of the nights he'd sneak into her room, when they hadn't been able to talk for most of the week. He crouched next to Nemu as she inched a panel of the wall out of the way. "So what's up?" He propped an elbow on a knee. "Need my help?"

Nemu shook her head. Finally she was able to reach into the gap. "I want you to meet someone very special to me."

"Special?"

She smiled and it was almost anxious around the edges. "The greatest thing that's ever come into my life since you."

Ikkaku gave an embarrassed chuckle and rubbed his neck. "Yeah, well…" His attention was drawn back to Nemu when she sat back on her heels, pulling an object from the hollow in the wall.

"Ikkaku, I'd like you to meet Horaizonnoakaiokan.

* * *

Nemu took a deep breath. She could do this. It had to be done so that meant she HAD to do it. She took another breath. There's no choice in the matter. If she wanted to live her own life it had to be done and it had to be done now. She took another breath. It's okay. Horaizonnoakaiokan and Ikkaku were there to watch her back. She took another breath. Don't shake, don't be afraid. Just do what you have to. She took another breath and dimly realized that she was hyperventilating.

"Oi, oi." Ikkaku gently thumped her back. "Calm down."

"You needn't worry." Horaizonnoakaiokan twittered in her mind. "You will not be hurt."

"Just do what you gotta do." Ikaku rubbed the tension out of the back of her neck.

"We are both here. You are not alone."

Nemu took a last deep breath, held it for a few seconds and slowly blew it out. She turned, smiling warmly at Ikkaku. "Thank you." She told them both. "I think… I think I can do this now."

"Good." He gave her shoulder one last squeeze. Except instead of letting her go, he pulled Nemu against his chest and said into her ear, "I'm right here. Never forget that."

She covered his hand with hers. "Thank you."

As Nemu rose her hand to knock on the doorframe, Horaizonnoakaiokan fairly purred. "I like Madarame more and more as time goes on." She hid a smile as almost immediately after the knock Mayuri barked sharply, 'Enter!'

Nemu entered the room with a bow before sliding the door closed behind her. "Mayuri-sama."

He glared in return, notes in hand and scattered across his desk. "Why are you interrupting me? I didn't call for you."

"I apologize, Mayuri-sama. I…" Calm down, Nemu told herself. Calm down and do what you must. "I have a matter to discuss with you."

"You? Something YOU want to discuss?" Mayuri set his papers aside and narrowed his eyes carefully. "What needs to be discussed?"

Nemu's hand came up, shaking minutely. In it was a scroll with Yamamoto-soutaichou's seal marked plainly. "This is a confirmation of a transfer request."

"Don't bother me with such minor details!" He snapped. "If someone can't endure then I have no use for them- you know that!"

"I-It's my request of transfer."

Mayuri froze and the whole room froze with him. The air in Nemu's lungs seemed to stop and press against her, inside and out. "You requested a transfer?" Mayuri hissed and his spirit pressure crept around them. Not as blatant as some of the other captains' but it probed and pricked like tiny needles jabbing into the pores and no less terrifying. "You went behind my back? YOU?" His jaw clenched furiously- so much rage to spew and no words to hold it. In his frustration he kicked the desk aside. It splintered and jumped and crumpled against a wall.

"Mayuri-sama, I'm…" sorry, she might have said- she didn't really know. But it felt like scalpels ghosting over her, memories of cuts and blood dripping over her skin.

"You're what?" Her father roared, grasping at the air. "You were supposed to be my greatest achievement! You were supposed to give me the recognition I deserved! Instead you're just a failure! A weak, simple-minded failure!"

His steps echoed and hung eerily around her and Nemu was disjointed by the cold and the needles and the phantom blood and his words. "You dare to betray me? I created you, I fathered you, I raised you to be obedient- to be capable! I GAVE YOU MY LIFE!" His pressure pushed around her and Nemu fell back, almost cowering under his hateful glare. "I crafted you to be perfection! All that you are is by my doing and you continually fail me!"

I-I can't do this, she realized. All his sharp retorts, flashes of anger, stinging blows- those were nothing compared to the fury she was suddenly exposed to. She held herself tightly, shivering under the onslaught. No. Everything before was merely annoyance, a passing irritation. This was true anger and Nemu couldn't face it.

Help me. Something deep inside of her cried, fading and withering under the frozen anger of her father. Help me, the tiny voice whimpered, but Nemu didn't know how. Help…

Something pushed against her, rocking like ships on an ocean. It pushed her and bobbed her up- warm and gentle. Except when it pushed again- around her, before her –it clashed against Mayuri's force. The hot and the cold collided fiercely and the force of it sent papers scattering off the desk and whipped Nemu's braid back.

Mayuri's eyes narrowed and he hissed between gnashing teeth. "Why is HE here?"

"I," she took a breath, the warmth making it easier to breath and think, "I asked him to come."

"You asked…" He snarled. "You… I FORBADE you to ever speak to him and yet you ASKED him to come HERE?"

"He is my friend."

"YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS!" When he raised his hand to strike, the sea surged and crashed against his wrist with a cry that lingered like a bird's. Mayuri eyes widened in disbelief as he realized what that was. "…you have the gall to associate with that hoodlum AND bring back your sword? I AM YOUR FATHER!"

He grasped the hilt of Ashisogi Jizou, only to feel the whisper of steel resting on the inside of his wrist.

"How 'bout you let your zanpakuto go nice and slow like," the blade pressed in just slightly, "and you won't be cuttin' your own wrist and everyone's happy. For the most part."

Mayuri snarled, reluctantly easing his grip and his arm away from the sword. "You must've been knocked around too many times by that ryoka, Madarame." He spat the name like a curse. "You're still no where near capable of fighting me."

Ikkaku smirked right back. "Regardless if that's the case or not, I ain't here to fight you right now. So, instead we're both gonna stand here and let Nemu say what she's gotta say." He sheathed Hozukimaru and it was then Mayuri noticed the second sword stuck in his belt. Ikkaku took the black-leather wrapped sword and held it out to Nemu. Mayuri watched this exchange with a toothy scowl.

She took it gratefully, closing her eyes to focus on the familiar feel and weight and presence of it. It stilled her and when she opened her eyes again her calm had returned. "Mayuri-sama," she said slowly, "I'm sorry. I've tried so hard to be everything you wanted me to be, I've tried so hard to be someone you could be proud of but all I ever do is disappoint you. I obeyed you to the best of my abilities and I've been as attentive to your needs as I could and when it became apparent that I could never please you I tried so hard to at least not fail you. But I have and I'm sorry."

Ikkaku's eyes darkened. "Nemu-"

She shook her head, interrupting him. "I'm truly sorry, Mayuri-sama. I can't be what you want. I can't give you the pride and the distinction you've worked so hard for. I can't give you any happiness or honor and I'm sorry. I'm flawed and I'm useless and I can't do everything you tell me to." Nemu's hands shook but her determination was never as blatant as it was at that moment. "I have my own dreams and my own hopes. I wish to get stronger and become more capable, but it's as much for my own sake and my own reasons as it is for yours. This is my decision, Mayuri-sama, and all I ask is for you to respect that."

For a long, long moment Mayuri was still. Then he voice creaked like a tremor, cracking foundations and tearing at the earth from inside. "Do you dare try to throw me away?" His hands flexed at his sides. "You dare think you can just toss me away like garbage?" His voice was rapidly gaining volume and intensity and both Nemu and Ikkaku flinched under the sudden influx of pressure. "I created you! I own every bit of you and you DARE to throw ME away? YOU DARE LOOK DOWN ON ME LIKE ALL THE OTHERS? And what will you do without me, idiot child! Stay with HIM? The muscle buffoon and his incompetent division? I've given you everything and you throw it back in my face so you can play whore to a bunch of degenerate thugs?"

Something snapped in Ikkaku's mind. He grabbed a fistful of Mayuri's coat and ran him into a wall so hard the frames shook. Nemu actually shrieked, "IKKAKU!"

His forearm braced against Mayuri's throat like a lead bar. "You listen," he snarled at the captain, "and you better listen fuckin' good 'cause I'm sick and fuckin' tired of this shit. She ain't yours. You never had any right to treat her the way you do and it ain't happenin' again 'cause if it does I'm gonna crush your fuckin' face in. Don't think I forgot all the shit you put me through in the academy. I remember every goddamn experiment, every one that landed me in fuckin' medical- I remember ever little pain you put me through and don't think I haven't been wantin' to pay you back for each and every goddamn one.

"But I ain't 'cause Nemu doesn't want you to get hurt. Me, though?" Ikkaku pressed his arm tighter against Mayuri's throat. "Nothing I think you deserve more than hangin'. But I can play the better man. I'll let all that shit pass. But if you ever – EVER -hurt Nemu in any way again, I will end you. She's put up with your bullshit and I've had to stand back and let her get beat up and chewed out and abused every fuckin' which way and if I ever find out you've hurt her again I will hunt you down and slaughter you like a fuckin' pig. GOT IT?"

Mayuri's sneer widened. "Do you honestly think YOU can overpower-" abruptly he cut off, eyes darting to the side, then to Nemu as she stood gripping her sword as if it were the only thing that made sense anymore. His scowl receded into a frown. "Get out." He said flatly. "All of you. And don't dare come back."

Ikkaku snarled, not satisfied with the answer in the least, but as his grip tightened, knuckles bruising into the skin, a hand tugged at his sleeve.

"Ikkaku." Nemu said softly, her head kept carefully down. She didn't say anything else, but he could see the edges of her lips quivering under the shadows of her bangs. Jaw clenched and with great reluctance, Ikkaku let her fath- no, not anymore –the captain go. With a final, withering glare over his shoulder, Ikkaku put a hand to Nemu's back, supporting her as they left.

When the door slid closed behind them, Nemu fell to the ground, hand stuffed against her mouth as she hiccuped.

"Nemu." He knelt down next to her. "Nemu, don't." Ikkaku pulled her hand away and she gasped loudly between her tears. "Nemu, shhh… Don't cry." He cupped her cheeks gently, brushing back her hair. "C'mon, don't. He doesn't deserve your tears."

But she gripped tightly to his uniform, her voice a soft wail low in her throat. Cursing all sorts of hell to himself, Ikkaku pulled Nemu against him, tucking her under his chin and balling her up in his arms. She cried into his chest, trembling violently as wave after wave of repressed pain and hurt and frustration and fear broke her. She fell apart curled up on the floor of the 12th division, heart and nerves raw. And there she was slowly rebuilt to the steady rhythm of Ikkaku's heartbeat and the weight of his arms around her. She was forged by the heat of his presence, tempered by the soft whispers in her ears and the tender kisses against her hair. Her faith and her pride and her dreams were smashed, scattered and rusting. But a new hope unfurled in the collapsed ruins of her heart and brought with it another life. This one already thriving under the promise of being nurtured and protected and loved.

Ikkaku's hand rubbed gently at the base of Nemu's neck as her sobs eventually ceased and her breathing evened slowly. He placed another kiss against her temple. "You okay?" He asked softly. She nodded into his collarbone. "'S good." But he made no move to get up and neither did she.

The door to the outer walkway suddenly slid back and Ikkaku was surprised to see Yumichika sticking his head inside.

"Ah!" The fifth seat exclaimed. "There you are!"

Hand reflexively tightening over Nemu, Ikkaku asked, "Yumi? What're you doin' here?"

"Haven't heard from you in a while. Just making sure you're okay." He nodded to Nemu. "ARE you two okay?"

"Yeah." Ikkaku said resignedly. "More or less."

"And…?" Yumichika tilted his head toward the captain's office.

Che. "We ain't gotta worry 'bout him anymore if that's what yer askin'."

"That's good! That's all I needed to know!" He waved prettily at the two before bouncing off the walkway. "CAPTAIN! They're okay! They don't need us anymore!"

Ikkaku blinked. Even Nemu pulled back marginally. "Huh?" The two exchanged glances before easing themselves off the floor and to the door. Ikkaku blinked against the noonday sun- ugh, the 12th division needed to invest in more windows –and Nemu stayed close at his side.

"See? They're fine."

Ikkaku's jaw dropped and Nemu's eyes widened. There, on the main lawn of the 12th division, was Yumichika, Zaraki and Yachiru. And Rangiku and Iba and Renji and Hisagi and Isane and Unohana and Ise and…

Ikkaku spluttered at them. "Wh-What the hell're you all doin' here?"

"Same thing as you, dumbass." Iba crossed his arms, apparently disappointed at the lack of bodily harm on the 3rd seat. "Makin' sure you didn't say something idiotic and get yer ass handed to ya."

Rangiku punched Iba in the arm. "Support." She corrected with a bright smile. "We came to support Nemu." Then added vaguely. "And you. I guess."

"Thanks." Ikkaku said icily.

"Those are you're friends, you know."

He turned on Hisagi. "MY friends? What the hell does that make you?"

"The debt collector. Makin' sure you didn't kick the bucket 'fore you paid me my money."

"YOUR money? You cheated!"

"If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'. I believe you were the one to coin that phrase?"

"Che!" Ikkaku glared at the 9th division vice-captain. "I fuckin' hate you."

Unohana laughed brightly, gathering everyone's attention. "Well, since they're both in good spirits I believe we should be heading back to our respective divisions now?" Everyone muttered to themselves, Ise and Isane throwing out promises to see Nemu later, the guys waggling their eyebrows at Ikkaku and he flicked them off.

"Um!" Nemu suddenly stepped forward, startling everyone. She looked at them for a moment and finally came to the realization that… They were here to support her- support THEM. They cared for her, thought highly of her, believed her worth their time and energy and most she rarely spoke to. They came of their own volition for her sake.

The newly born hope- slowly beginning to beat to life –swelled under this realization and she couldn't help the first smile it bore brightening her face- wide and honest and touched beyond words. She bowed deeply to them. "Thank you!" She said, warm tears glittering down her cheeks once more. "Thank you all so much!"

Most couldn't help but grin in return, scuffling their feet in the dirt and flushing with pride- amazed to be able to see her smile so openly. "Oi, Ikkaku!" Zaraki bellowed with a mock sneer as others roared in agreement. "You better make that girl happy or I'm gonna shove my fist down yer throat!"

But Ikkaku smiled at Nemu's beaming face, hand entwined with hers. It was the first time he'd ever seen her so happy and it was the first time anyone had every looked upon her pride. Ikkaku brought her hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. Softly he said, "Always." 


	18. What Comes After

Scrapped together because there were still ideas I wanted to get out. The series should be finished from here on out. I'm glad that I managed to spread the IkkakuxNemu love, thank you all for sticking with it!

* * *

**Come What May  
What Comes After**

**1.Insult to Injury**

Mayuri was, not surprisingly, highly annoyed- almost angry even. With his only daughter betraying him and then a high number of captains and vice-captains turning against him he bristled and snapped worse than usual. And then- oh, because he hadn't been insulted ENOUGH -that brainless, bald Neanderthal that poisoned his daughter's mind walked around blatantly wearing her choker.

One of the many, little things Mayuri forced her to wear to show her submission to his order and now that idiot had it wrapped around his wrist! Mayuri knew what that meant, he knew exactly what kind of slap in the face it was. He had it around her neck once to show that he owned her. That man had it now to show that she was free. And to prove that if Mayuri wanted to get at her again, he had to go through him, first. And, after that last incident, he'd have to go through many others as well.

Feh! Mayuri wasn't a stupid man. That girl wasn't so worthwhile he'd attempt to get himself killed over her. If he wanted such a useless plaything, he was welcome to it. Mayuri had better things to do. But that didn't stop the insult from stinging.

**2.Work Performance**

Geh. As glad as he was the idiot wasn't mopin' 'round anymore did he HAVE to be so goddamn HAPPY all the time? Zaraki scowled over the paperwork he was doing to glare at Ikkaku. The 3rd seat was working at least, but he had the dumbest ass grin on his face and was HUMMIN' of all things. The captain sighed to himself and tried to get back to his own work. Well, he was workin'. And he was still killin' the other division members durin' trainin' so he really couldn't be THAT upset, after all.

Except that he was HUMMIN' and HAPPY and absolutely NOT bein' the hard ass he generally was especially when he was pissed off...

Geh, knock it off. Zaraki told himself. So the idiot's happy, so he ain't bein' as intimidatin' as usual. He still gets the job done and he still scares the crap outta other divisions and he still fights like a demonic monkey when he's gotta. That's what counts.

His cheek twitched as Ikkaku started making little wordless sounds now. This shit's gotta stop.

"Ikkaku!" He snapped, taking some satisfaction in the fact the other man jumped. "Get the fuck outta here!"

"Eh? Ah, but captain-"

Zaraki scowled. "Lemme rephrase that. Get out NOW, while I'm tellin' ya all polite like, or get out later when someone's gotta carry your broken ass body."

Hastily, Ikkaku got to his feet. "Right, uh... g'night captain?" And promptly hotfooted it out before Zaraki had a chance for one last glare.

Well. He just gave himself more work to do but at least it was quiet. Zaraki grinned around his pipe. He'll have to get Yachiru to teach 'im 'bout being overly cheerful.

**3.Catch-22**

Ikkaku had his focus back. This was good.

He was cardsharking like a motherfucker. This was bad.

He didn't drink until he passed out anymore. This was good.

He was sober enough to remember all the other dumbshit everyone else couldn't. This was bad.

He stopped pawing the dark-haired beauties that worked the bars. This was good.

He still had someone waiting for him every night. This was… not necessarily BAD- just very, very annoying.

Fine, okay, whatever. They were all buddies. They were happy- no, really –that he was happy and he had someone to make him happy just by looking up at him with those big doe eyes of hers.

Iba sighed as he had to fold out, already in a considerable amount of debt and Renji tossed his shades into the pot and Hisagi tried to bargain an IOU. They were happy and all but- here Iba eyed Ikkaku's maniac grin at the thought of winning yet another hand –if he didn't shut up about the power of his dumb ass luck-luck dance someone was going to get hurt.

**4.The Other Half**

Horaizonnoakaiokan was an old zanpakutou nor did it ever grow out of its oldness. It knew many other zanpakutou and had seen how the spirits have changed from one generation to the next. There were as many zanpakutou as there were shinigami and just as varied in strength and personality.

It had seen shinigami that took their partners for granted, zanpakutou that disregarded the quality of their bearers in favor of just being wielded. It had seen so many pairings sour because one or both held no consideration for the other.

Horaizonnoakaiokan, being an old and respectful zanpakutou, knew many of the other old and respected zanpakutou and the less old, less respectful but very powerful zanpakutou as well. It felt close ties with Minazuki for being a fellow healer, was amused by the arguments held by the dual-nature of Zabimaru and bowed to the unequaled power of Ryuujin Jakka. And among those that Horaizonnoakaiokan knew, it knew how critically they chose their partners- knowing and understanding for it had only one master previously.

It knew Hozukimaru well- the rough-edged politeness and easy humor and the fact that he had never chosen a partner in his long, long life. So when it found out that Hozukimaru had not only chosen a wielder but had literally dragged the boy from other anxious zanpakutou Horaizonnoakaiokan knew the shinigami would be a spectacle to behold at some point. It just never knew that the boy would ever effect its life so greatly.

Horaizonnoakaiokan trilled high in its throat, strutting the beach that shimmered white under bright, clear skies. It held its head to the wind and seemed to smile to itself. Hozukimaru certainly knew how to pick a partner. It would have to thank him next time it had a chance.

**5.Beaten to the Punch**

Kurotsuchi Nemu, the new assistant teacher. He was in her first class and was among the first to be enamoured by her shy smiles and intelligence and beauty and reputation. She was gorgeous and kind, she treated everyone equally. Rumor had it that she used to be a vice-captain in the Gotei-13. It explained why she was always looking out for those that were struggling in their classes, trying to help them in anyway she could.

She was the kind of woman other women wanted to be like. She didn't speak much but when she did it was almost musical and he'd daydream about her voice for the rest of the day. He had it bad and he knew it. He wanted to impress her with his skills but hated the fact that it meant she didn't have to worry about him struggling in the academy. He wanted to be with her and make her small smiles grow and her dark eyes glitter. He wanted to be everything she could ever need.

Except someone else already was.

He had heard about a representative from one of the divisions that was checking out part of the academy's curriculum but he didn't equate it with the lovely assistant. Until, during the lunch break, he went out into the shady groove he knew Kurotsuchi-san liked to take her food and a strange man in a black uniform lounged against the same tree the object of his affection stood next to.

They spoke quietly to each other, the man grinning broadly and Kurotsuchi-san smiling warmly- without the uncertain edge she had in the classroom. He couldn't make out much of their exchange, but the man was undoubtedly powerful, what must've been his zanpakutou resting next to him. Kurotsuchi-san made a comment and the man's expression soured except that she laughed- actually laughed! –at him and he grinned again. Then, to his shock, pulled her into his lap.

She curled into his chest, playing with something wrapped around his wrist and the man told her something to make her blush prettily. He felt like an invader, desecrating something sacred between the two of them. He didn't know this man, didn't know their exact relationship, but he knew one thing for certain. They were meant for each other- there was no way anyone could ever get between them –and, though he knew he would never be able to receive Kurotsuchi-san's affections he could help her and protect her whenever her man wasn't there.

He wouldn't be recognized for helping Kurotsuchi-san, but knowing she could be so happy would make it worthwhile.


End file.
